Walking— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and directly answer the present situation first, then give a brief supporting detail. Avoid redundancy (e.g., 'aid digestion' and 'dispense some quality time' overlap awkwardly). Use a linking word to connect past habit to present routine.

예시: Yes, I walk regularly. When I was a child I walked to school every day, and nowadays my family and I often take a short walk after dinner to help digestion and spend quality time together.

제안: Good direct response and supporting details. Improve cohesion by using a linking phrase and avoid repeating ideas about digestion; focus on one or two specific benefits. Keep sentences varied but concise.

예시: Yes, I did. We used to walk almost every evening after dinner to get fresh air and relax, and I usually walked with my family around the neighborhood park.

제안: Answer should be general (people) and avoid first-person inconsistencies like 'helps me' then 'people'. Correct vocabulary mistakes ('air pressure' is incorrect) and be specific: mention clean air, scenery, and space to exercise. Use linking words and keep it concise.

예시: People often like walking in parks because the peaceful atmosphere, greenery and cleaner air help them relax. For example, after a busy day I sometimes go to a nearby park to breathe fresh air and clear my mind.

제안: Avoid fillers ('uh') and hesitations. Use singular/plural correctly ('in the mountains' or 'in a mountain area'). Be specific about reasons and link them logically. Keep it to max 3–4 sentences and vary vocabulary (e.g., 'mountain scenery', 'fresh air').

예시: I would like to take a long walk in the mountains because the air is much fresher than in the city and you can enjoy spectacular scenery, such as sunsets over ridges. Walking there would be peaceful and good exercise.

제안: Use natural collocations ('on campus' not 'in my campus', 'campus atmosphere' instead of 'environmental atmosphere'). Combine related sentences with linking words and correct subject-verb agreement ('which make me feel').

예시: Yesterday I went for a walk on my campus. The campus atmosphere is lovely — there are many trees, flowers and birds, which make me feel peaceful.

× Even now, my family and I often take a short walk after dinner to aid digestion and dispense some quality time together.

✓ Even now, my family and I often take a short walk after dinner to aid digestion and spend some quality time together.

The verb 'dispense' is incorrect in this context; the correct verb is 'spend' (to use time enjoying something). This is a word choice error affecting meaning rather than tense, but it appears in a past context reference 'Even now' which is present habitual; replace 'dispense' with 'spend' to convey the intended meaning clearly.

× It also helped me digest better and I usually walked with my family around the neighborhood park.

✓ It also helped me digest better and I usually walk with my family around the neighborhood park.

The sentence mixes past ('helped', 'walked') with present habitual ('usually'). To maintain present habitual meaning, change 'walked' to present tense 'walk'. Keep 'helped' if referring to past habit, but better to align both: if speaking about past habit use 'helped' and 'walked'; if current habit use 'helps' and 'walk'. Here 'usually' indicates habitual action, so 'I usually walk' is appropriate.

× I think people like walking in parks because the peaceful atmosphere helps me feel relaxed and the trees and flowers make the air pressure.

✓ I think people like walking in parks because the peaceful atmosphere helps them feel relaxed and the trees and flowers improve the air quality.

There are multiple issues: pronoun reference and wrong noun. 'Helps me feel relaxed' should be 'helps them feel relaxed' to match subject 'people'. 'Make the air pressure' is incorrect; the intended idea is 'improve the air quality'. This fixes pronoun agreement and corrects word choice.

× For example, after a busy day, I often go to nearby park to breathe fresh air and clear my mind.

✓ For example, after a busy day, I often go to the nearby park to breathe fresh air and clear my mind.

The noun 'park' needs a determiner here. Use 'the nearby park' to refer to a specific park close to the speaker. Alternatively 'a nearby park' could be used if referring to any park; choose 'the' if previously implied.

× I would like to take a long walk in the mountain, uh, firstly because uh, the, the air con, the air condition in the mountain is better than in the city, and also we can see beautiful scenery like sunset in the mountains.

✓ I would like to take a long walk in the mountains, firstly because the air in the mountains is better than in the city, and also we can see beautiful scenery like sunsets in the mountains.

Use plural 'mountains' for generic mountain areas. 'Air condition' is incorrect; use 'air' or 'air quality'. Remove filler repetitions. 'Sunset' should be plural 'sunsets' when speaking generally. These changes correct article use and noun forms.

× Yesterday I went for a walk just in my campus.

✓ Yesterday I went for a walk just on my campus.

Use 'on campus' or 'on my campus' in English; 'in my campus' is incorrect. 'On campus' is the standard prepositional phrase for being within a university grounds.

× The environmental atmosphere in my campus is really nice.

✓ The environment on my campus is really nice.

'Environmental atmosphere' is redundant and awkward; 'environment' is the correct noun. Also use 'on my campus' for correct preposition. This fixes noun choice and preposition to match subject-verb agreement and natural usage.

× There are many trees and flowers and birds which makes me feel peaceful.

✓ There are many trees, flowers, and birds, which make me feel peaceful.

The relative clause refers to 'trees, flowers, and birds' (plural), so the verb should be 'make' not 'makes'. Also add commas for clarity and natural listing.