Walking— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: ปรับประโยคให้ชัดเจนและตรงคำถาม พูดเป็นปัจจุบันและใช้ประโยคหัวข้อที่ชัดเจน ตัดรายละเอียดที่ไม่จำเป็น และใช้คำเชื่อมเมื่ออธิบายเพิ่มเติม ตัวอย่างเช่น อธิบายว่าคุณเดินเพื่ออะไร (เช่น งานหรือออกกำลังกาย) และบอกความถี่หรือสถานที่อย่างสั้น ๆ

예시: Yes, I walk quite a lot because my job requires me to move between buildings several times a day. For example, I often walk to a nearby office to meet colleagues, so I usually walk about 30 minutes each workday.

제안: ตอบด้วยประโยคหัวข้อชัดเจนและใช้รายละเอียดเฉพาะเจาะจงมากขึ้น เช่นความถี่ กิจกรรมที่ทำ และความทรงจำสั้น ๆ ใช้คำกริยาในอดีตให้ถูกต้อง และเชื่อมประโยคด้วยคำเชื่อมง่าย ๆ

예시: Yes, I often went outside with my mother when I was a child. We usually walked in the park twice a week for exercise and to learn about nature, which helped me relax and enjoy fresh air.

제안: ให้เหตุผลที่ชัดเจนและเป็นเหตุเป็นผล ใช้คำศัพท์ที่เกี่ยวข้องกับสวนสาธารณะ เช่น trees, fresh air, peaceful, socialise และยกตัวอย่างสั้น ๆ เพื่อสนับสนุนความคิดเห็น อย่าใช้คำอ้อมหรือข้อมูลไม่ชัดเจน

예시: People like to walk in parks because they offer fresh air and a peaceful environment. For example, parks have trees and benches where families and friends can relax and socialise, which makes walking there enjoyable.

제안: ตอบตรงคำถามด้วยประโยคหัวข้อแล้วขยายด้วยเหตุผลและภาพประกอบสั้น ๆ ใช้คำเชื่อม (because, so, for example) และคำศัพท์ที่ถูกต้อง เช่น fresh air, scenery, hiking

예시: I would like to take a long walk in the mountains because I enjoy the fresh air and beautiful scenery. For example, hiking on a mountain trail would help me relax and recharge after a stressful week.

제안: ตอบโดยระบุสถานที่และเวลาอย่างชัดเจน พร้อมเหตุผลสั้น ๆ พยายามเรียบเรียงให้เป็นปัจจุบัน/อดีตสอดคล้องกัน และหลีกเลี่ยงข้อมูลไม่จำเป็นเกี่ยวกับตารางเวลาที่สับสน

예시: Recently I walked around the hospital where I work because I often have little free time. When I have a day off, I prefer to rest at home, but on workdays I usually take short walks during breaks around the hospital grounds.

× Yeah, I work a lot because I will much to explain many people in one day.

✓ Yeah, I work a lot because I have much explaining to do for many people in one day.

The phrase 'will much to explain' is incorrect. Use 'have ... to do' structure and gerund 'explaining' to show a task: 'have much explaining to do'. This keeps present tense and expresses obligation. Suggestion: use 'have a lot of explaining to do' or 'have to explain a lot to many people.'

× Sometime I must go to another building to use portable to actually for people can come to excellent department.

✓ Sometimes I must go to another building to use a portable device so people can come to the examination department.

Multiple issues: 'Sometime' should be 'Sometimes' (adverb). 'Use portable' needs an article and a noun: 'use a portable device'. 'to actually for people can come' is ungrammatical; use 'so people can come' to indicate purpose. 'excellent department' likely meant 'examination department' or 'hospital department'; choose correct noun. Suggestion: simplify sentences into clear purpose clauses: 'Sometimes I have to go to another building to use a portable device so people can come to the examination department.'

× Yeah, my mom often bring me to outside to go to exercise and learning when I try.

✓ Yeah, my mom often brought me outside to exercise and learn when I was young.

The student describes a habitual past action, so use past tense: 'bring' should be 'brought'. 'to outside' is incorrect — use 'outside'. 'to go to exercise and learning' is awkward; use infinitives 'to exercise and learn'. 'when I try' is unclear; likely 'when I was young' or 'when I tried' but context suggests childhood. Suggestion: use clear time phrase and past tense for childhood habits.

× To relax my body.

✓ To relax my body, I used to walk often.

This fragment lacks context and a main verb; it's a sentence without a verb. Combine with the previous sentence or make it complete: 'To relax my body, I used to walk often.' Suggestion: avoid sentence fragments by adding subject and verb.

× Because in the past we have a neutral beauty tree.

✓ Because in the past we had a grove of beautiful trees.

'a neutral beauty tree' is ungrammatical and unclear. Use plural 'trees' and past tense 'had' for past reference. 'a grove of beautiful trees' or 'many beautiful trees' fits. Suggestion: choose clearer nouns and correct article/plural usage.

× Uh, we have a people who enjoy too working in the park together.

✓ Uh, we had people who also enjoyed working together in the park.

'a people' is incorrect—use 'people' without 'a'. 'enjoy too' should be 'also enjoyed' to match past tense. Word order: 'working together in the park' is natural. Suggestion: match plural noun usage and past tense.

× This make me feel relaxed and we feel, oh, I have friends.

✓ This makes me feel relaxed and we feel, 'Oh, I have friends.'

Subject-verb agreement: 'This' (singular) requires 'makes', not 'make'. Also punctuation: include the interjection properly. Suggestion: ensure verbs agree with subjects and use punctuation for quoted feelings.

× Maybe a mountain because I can see the fresh air.

✓ Maybe a mountain because I can breathe the fresh air.

'See the fresh air' is illogical; we 'breathe' or 'enjoy' fresh air. 'a mountain' is acceptable. Suggestion: use appropriate verbs with nouns (breathe air, see a view).

× I'll feel relaxed after a long day.

✓ I would feel relaxed after a long day on a mountain.

Question asked 'Where would you like to take a long walk if you had the chance?' This is a hypothetical conditional; use conditional 'would' rather than future 'will'. Suggestion: match conditional mood (if + past -> would + base verb).

× To be honest in my hospital because I work every day and I if I have a day off I like to sleep more and get early in my day off.

✓ To be honest, I walk in my hospital because I work there every day, and if I have a day off I like to sleep more and wake up later on my day off.

Sentence has several tense and word choice errors: add commas, 'in my hospital' is better with 'walk in my hospital' or 'walk around the hospital'. 'I work every day' is fine. 'and I if I have a day off' needs restructuring: 'and if I have a day off'. 'I like to sleep more and get early in my day off' is contradictory; likely 'wake up later' is intended. Suggestion: simplify and correct word order, use 'wake up later' instead of 'get early'.