Walking— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce hesitations and repetition, start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two concise supporting details using linking words. Correct minor grammar (e.g., "I have a lot on my mind" not "I have burden us of something"). Aim for 3–4 sentences and avoid filler sounds like "umm".

예시: Yes, I walk a lot. I usually go for a walk whenever I feel stressed because it helps me relax and clear my mind. For example, after a busy workday I take a 30-minute walk in my neighbourhood to feel refreshed.

제안: Provide a clear past-tense topic sentence and use fewer hesitations. Link past habit to present with a clear connector (e.g., "As a result"). Keep sentences concise and correct tense: "became" not "become".

예시: Yes, I often went out for walks as a child. My mother usually took me for a walk in the evenings, and sometimes in the mornings. As a result, I became used to walking, and now I prefer to walk alone since I live by myself.

제안: Give a focused topic sentence and specific reasons with linking words. Avoid repeated phrases and incomplete endings. Use vocabulary accurately (e.g., "fresh air" not just "fresh environment"). Provide one short example.

예시: People like to walk in parks because of the fresh air and greenery. In addition, parks offer quiet paths and open space for exercise. For example, many families visit parks to take a relaxing walk and get some fresh air.

제안: Begin with a clear conditional sentence and avoid repetition. State the place directly, give one or two reasons why, and correct grammar ("I would like to visit the Gurdwara Sahib, which is about an hour's drive away"). Keep to 2–3 sentences.

예시: If I had the chance to take a long walk, I would like to walk to the Gurdwara Sahib. It is about an hour's drive from my home, and I would enjoy the peaceful atmosphere and the chance to reflect during the walk.

제안: Answer in the past tense with a clear statement of where you went and why. Remove fillers and repetition. Provide a short supporting detail such as distance or purpose. Correct grammar: "I went for a walk to my friend's house because she invited me to dinner".

예시: Recently I went for a walk to my friend's house because she invited me to dinner. Her home is about a half-hour walk from my house, so I walked there and enjoyed the fresh air on the way.

× Yes, definitely I would love to walk a lot because umm, whenever I feel stressed or I have burden us of something on my mind, I just simply go for a walk and it really makes me makes me feel refreshed and makes my mind feel free from all this stress and anxiety.

✓ Yes, definitely I would love to walk a lot because whenever I feel stressed or have the burden of something on my mind, I simply go for a walk and it really makes me feel refreshed and frees my mind from stress and anxiety.

The phrase 'burden us of something' is incorrect; 'burden of something' is the correct noun phrase. Also 'makes me makes me' is a repetition error; one 'makes me' is enough. 'Makes my mind feel free from all this stress' is awkward; use 'frees my mind from stress' for conciseness. Suggestions: remove filler words, fix noun phrase to 'burden of', delete duplicate words, and use 'frees my mind' for clarity.

× So walking, uh, I, I prefer walking a lot.

✓ So I prefer walking a lot.

Redundant fillers and repetition 'I, I' should be removed; sentence otherwise uses present simple correctly. Suggestion: say 'So I prefer walking a lot' or 'I like to walk a lot'.

× Yes, I remember actually when I was a child, I usually, uh, love to play a lot, especially my, my mother takes me for a walk every day in evening time and sometimes in the morning as well.

✓ Yes, I remember that when I was a child I used to love playing a lot; especially my mother used to take me for a walk every evening and sometimes in the morning.

Tense inconsistency: describing past habits requires past forms such as 'used to' or past simple. 'I usually love to play' is present; change to 'used to love playing'. 'My mother takes me' should be 'my mother used to take me' for past routine. Also 'in evening time' should be 'in the evening'. Suggestions: use 'used to' for past habitual actions and correct article usage 'the evening'.

× And that's the, uh, and that's why I become habitual of walking.

✓ And that's why I became accustomed to walking.

'Become habitual of' is incorrect collocation and tense: for past cause use past 'became' and phrase 'accustomed to' is natural. Suggestion: use 'became accustomed to walking' or 'developed a habit of walking'.

× So now, uh, I prefer to walk alone because I, I live here alone.

✓ So now I prefer to walk alone because I live here by myself.

Redundant 'I, I' repetition should be removed. 'Live here alone' is understandable but 'live here by myself' is more natural. Suggestion: remove fillers and use 'by myself' for clarity.

× So one of the important or we can say the main reason for like why people are like to walk in the parks because of the because of the fresh environment as and the and the greenery in the parks is like one of the most important factors that why people visit parks for walk, for exercising and just to feel.

✓ One main reason people like to walk in parks is the fresh environment and the greenery; these are important factors why people visit parks to walk, exercise, and relax.

Sentence has redundant fillers ('like', 'are like'), incorrect conjunctions and structure. Use clear subject-verb structure: 'One main reason people like to walk in parks is...' Remove repeated 'because of the' and use parallel verbs 'to walk, exercise, and relax'. Suggestion: avoid filler words, simplify clause structure, and use parallel infinitives.

× As I love to walk a lot. So if once in my life, if I got a chance to walk or to walk for a long walk. So I will definitely like to visit Gurdwara Sahib, which is uh, like UH-1, uh, one hour drive away from my home.

✓ As I love to walk a lot, if I ever get a chance to take a long walk, I would definitely like to visit Gurdwara Sahib, which is about a one-hour drive from my home.

Sentence fragments and tense mismatches: use 'if I ever get a chance' (present real conditional) or 'if I got a chance' with 'would'. Original mixes 'if I got' with 'I will'. Also 'to walk for a long walk' is redundant; use 'take a long walk'. 'One hour drive away' should be 'about a one-hour drive'. Suggestion: choose consistent conditional form and eliminate redundancy.

× So I will really glad to uh, to walk to Gurdwara Sahib if I had a chance.

✓ I would be really glad to walk to Gurdwara Sahib if I had the chance.

Mixed conditional/modal error: 'I will ... if I had' is inconsistent. Use 'I would be ... if I had' for hypothetical past-present condition. Also add 'be' after 'will'/'would' and remove filler 'uh'. Suggestion: use correct conditional modal 'would be'.

× Solidly, uh, I go, go for a walk, which was to my way to my friend's home.

✓ Recently, I went for a walk on my way to my friend's home.

'Solidly' is incorrect; likely meant 'recently'. Use past simple 'went' for a past event. 'Which was to my way to my friend's home' is ungrammatical; 'on my way to my friend's home' is correct. Suggestion: use clear time adverb and past tense 'went'.

× Actually, she invited me, me at her home for dinner.

✓ Actually, she invited me to her home for dinner.

Incorrect preposition 'invited me at' should be 'invited me to'. Also remove duplicated 'me'. Suggestion: use 'invite someone to somewhere' structure.

× So I, uh, and she lives just like, umm, uh, half an hour away from my house, uh, like inquire, it takes me half an hour to go there.

✓ She lives about half an hour away from my house; it takes me about half an hour to get there.

Redundant fillers and awkward phrasing 'like inquire'. Maintain present simple 'she lives' and use 'about half an hour away' and 'it takes me about half an hour to get there'. Suggestion: remove disfluencies and use natural adverb 'about'.

× So I, I prefer, uh, I, I go for a walk to visit.

✓ So I prefer to walk there to visit her.

Repetition 'I, I' and disfluency; unclear ending 'to visit' should specify 'to visit her'. Use present simple 'I prefer to walk there'. Suggestion: remove fillers and complete the thought.