Walking— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Cần rút gọn câu, sửa ngữ pháp và dùng từ vựng phù hợp hơn. Tránh từ lóng như "gotta" và lặp từ "like" nhiều lần. Hãy bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề trực tiếp, theo sau là 1–2 chi tiết cụ thể (thời lượng và mục đích). Sử dụng liên từ hợp lý để mạch lạc.

예시: Yes, I walk a lot on weekends. My friends and I often spend several hours walking around the city, and we sometimes do short runs to improve our fitness.

제안: Sửa lỗi phát âm/viết và ngữ pháp ("bra parents" sai; có lặp từ). Trả lời nên rõ ràng: đưa câu chủ đề, giải thích lý do ngắn gọn và một chi tiết minh họa. Tránh tiếng ồn "uh" và thay bằng từ nối khi cần.

예시: Yes, I often went for walks as a child, but I usually went with my parents for safety because traffic was heavy in our neighborhood.

제안: Cần dùng cấu trúc gọn gàng và từ vựng chính xác (ví dụ "atmosphere" + "enjoyable" nhưng trật tự và chia động từ cần sửa). Nên nêu 2 lý do cụ thể (không khí trong lành, yên tĩnh) và dùng liên từ để nối ý.

예시: In my opinion, people enjoy walking in parks because the air is fresher and the environment is peaceful. The trees and greenery also make walks more relaxing and pleasant.

제안: Cần sửa động từ và danh từ số nhiều/số ít ("place that has a lot of green space"). Tránh đệm từ "uh/like"; trình bày câu chủ đề rồi nêu lý do cụ thể về lợi ích sức khỏe và tinh thần. Giữ 2–3 câu ngắn gọn.

예시: I would like to take a long walk in a place with lots of green space, such as a large park. The fresh air and tranquil atmosphere would help me relax and breathe more easily.

제안: Sửa ngữ pháp và trật tự từ ("a walk street" không chính xác; dùng "the walking street" hoặc "a pedestrian street"). Trình bày rõ: nêu địa điểm, thời gian, ai đi cùng và một hoạt động cụ thể. Tránh câu rời rạc và lỗi đánh máy như "St. cuisine".

예시: Last week I went to the pedestrian street around Hoan Kiem Lake with my parents. We walked around, tried some local street food, and enjoyed the lively atmosphere.

× Yes of course I really gotta like joking and hanging out with my friend every weekend and we spend 8 hours a day to walking out at the street and also we have a like a short run to like increase my health.

✓ Yes, of course. I really like joking and hanging out with my friends every weekend, and we spend eight hours a day walking on the street, and we also do a short run to improve my health.

The sentence misuses 'gotta' (colloquial and inappropriate here) and has incorrect verb forms: 'really gotta like joking' should be 'really like joking'; 'spend 8 hours a day to walking' should be 'spend eight hours a day walking' because 'spend' is followed by gerund. Use plural 'friends' for more than one friend. Use 'walking on the street' rather than 'walking out at the street'. Replace 'have a like a short run to like increase my health' with 'do a short run to improve my health' for natural phrasing. Suggestions: avoid slang in formal responses, use gerunds after 'spend', and choose verbs like 'do' or 'go for' with 'run'.

× Uh, yeah. But uh, I usually go with my bra parents for safety because uh, I cannot go go out with myself because there are so many vehicle on the street.

✓ Uh, yeah. But I usually went with my parents for safety because I could not go out by myself because there were so many vehicles on the street.

The question asks about childhood (past), so use past tense: 'usually go' -> 'usually went'. 'bra parents' is likely 'bro' or typo; remove 'bra'. 'cannot go go out with myself' is ungrammatical: use 'could not go out by myself'. 'There are so many vehicle' should be plural past: 'there were so many vehicles'. Suggestions: match tense to time frame, use 'by myself' for alone, and pluralize countable nouns.

× Oh, well, in my point of view, I think that the reason that people really like to walk in parks, it is atmosphere of the park. Uh, there are so many trees there, so they can really enjoyable and also joyful when they walk in here.

✓ Oh, well, in my point of view, I think the reason people really like to walk in parks is the atmosphere of the park. There are so many trees, so they can really enjoy themselves and feel joyful when they walk there.

Problems: wordy and redundant phrasing; 'it is atmosphere of the park' needs article and word order -> 'is the atmosphere of the park'. 'They can really enjoyable' uses an adjective instead of verb -> 'enjoy themselves'. 'Walk in here' incorrect preposition/adverb choice -> 'walk there'. Suggestions: simplify the sentence, use 'enjoy themselves' for feelings, include definite article 'the' before 'atmosphere'.

× Uh, I would like to have a long walk in the place that have a many green space. It, uh, help me a lot in like breathing and also I really like uh, umm, like uh, good atmosphere and it's make me like really relax.

✓ Uh, I would like to have a long walk in a place that has a lot of green space. It helps me a lot with breathing, and I really like the good atmosphere because it makes me very relaxed.

Errors: 'the place that have' should be 'a place that has' (subject-verb agreement and article). 'a many green space' incorrect quantifier and countability -> 'a lot of green space' or 'many green spaces'. 'It, uh, help me' needs third-person singular -> 'It helps me'. 'it's make me like really relax' should be 'it makes me very relaxed'. Suggestions: ensure subject-verb agreement, use correct quantifiers ('a lot of' for uncountable), and use 'make' -> 'makes' with correct adjective 'relaxed'.

× Oh well, I went to a walk street at Hoon Kiem last week and it was really joyful and relaxed. Me and my parents were there to walk around and join some cuisine. St. cuisine here. It's really good though.

✓ Oh well, I went to the walking street at Hoan Kiem last week and it was really enjoyable and relaxing. My parents and I walked around and tried some local cuisine. The cuisine there is really good.

Problems: 'a walk street' should be 'the walking street' (correct noun phrase). 'Hoon Kiem' likely 'Hoan Kiem' (proper noun). 'Joyful and relaxed' better expressed as 'enjoyable and relaxing'. 'Me and my parents' should be 'My parents and I'. 'Were there to walk around and join some cuisine' is unnatural; use 'walked around and tried some local cuisine'. 'St. cuisine here.' unclear fragment; clarify 'The cuisine there is really good.' Suggestions: use correct noun phrases, proper order for 'parents and I', and verbs like 'try' with 'cuisine'.