Walking— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct small errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, and correct the phrase about your device (use 'apps' not 'abs'). Add one specific detail about frequency or purpose and use a linking word.

예시: Yes, I walk regularly whenever I have time; on average I walk for 30–45 minutes three times a week. Walking helps me relax after work, and I also use a fitness app to track my daily steps.

제안: Provide a clearer topic sentence and one specific supporting detail or example. Use a linking word like 'because' or 'so' but avoid redundancy. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

예시: Not really; I rarely went for walks as a child because my family lived in a small flat and we preferred indoor activities. As a result, I now try to encourage my younger relatives to spend more time outdoors to stay fit.

제안: Clarify and organise the answer. Use one clear topic sentence, then add two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid unclear phrases like 'tend to laugh' and keep vocabulary accurate.

예시: People enjoy walking in parks because it helps them relax and relieve stress. Moreover, parks provide a pleasant setting for socialising, so friends and families often meet there to chat or exercise together.

제안: Be more fluent and concise; avoid fillers (uh, umm) and awkward phrasing. Start with a clear statement and give one or two specific reasons why, using linking words.

예시: I'd love to walk in Central Park in New York because it offers a vast green space amid the busy city. For example, I imagine strolling past lakes and meadows would be a great way to escape the hustle and bustle and relax for a whole afternoon.

제안: Correct grammar and be more specific. Use a clear topic sentence, link reasons with 'because' or 'and', and correct phrases like 'wide amount' to 'large number' or 'wide variety'. Add one concise detail about what you did there.

예시: I went to St James's Park last week during my trip to London. I enjoyed walking among the large number of trees and flowerbeds, and I was delighted to see the park's pelicans up close.

× I also have abs to keep track of my steps.

✓ I also have an app to keep track of my steps.

The student used 'abs' (plural noun for abdominal muscles) instead of 'an app' (a software application). This is an article and word choice error. Use the indefinite article 'an' before a vowel sound and the singular noun 'app' here because they refer to a single application for tracking steps.

× Busy days like this I don't find the chance to walk and it is quite sad because I love walking.

✓ On busy days like this I don't find the chance to walk, and it is quite sad because I love walking.

Missing preposition 'on' for the time expression 'on busy days' is a present-tense/time-expression usage issue (treated as present tense/time). The sentence also needs a comma before the coordinating conjunction 'and'. Add 'on' to form the correct time phrase and add appropriate punctuation.

× I didn't go outside to have a walk when I was a child, which is quite sad, I must admit that.

✓ I didn't often go outside to take a walk when I was a child, which is quite sad, I must admit.

The phrase 'have a walk' is not wrong but 'take a walk' is more natural in this context. Also adding 'often' clarifies frequency. The original contained awkward phrasing; adjust verb collocation and remove redundant 'that' at the end for natural past-tense expression.

× It is also something I regret nowadays because when you're younger you're free to move and you feel more energetic, so it is something that you really have to do to keep fit and to stay healthy.

✓ It is also something I regret nowadays because when you're younger you're freer to move and you feel more energetic, so it is something you really should do to keep fit and stay healthy.

Issues: comparative 'freer' is more natural than 'free' when comparing age states (adjective form); 'have to' is grammatical but 'should' is better for advice tone. Also simplify 'to stay healthy' to 'stay healthy' for parallel structure. This addresses tense/aspect and modal choice (modal verb usage), but corrections kept within listed types (6 and 4).

× People like to walk in parks because it's the best way to relieve stress and to let off steam is also an activity that allows you to strengthen your social interaction, so it is something many people tend to laugh.

✓ People like to walk in parks because it's the best way to relieve stress and let off steam. Walking is also an activity that helps strengthen social interaction, so many people tend to enjoy it.

Multiple problems: run-on sentence and incorrect collocations. 'Let off steam' should be coordinated with 'relieve stress' without repeating 'to'. 'Strengthen your social interaction' is awkward; use 'helps strengthen social interaction'. 'Tend to laugh' is incorrect meaning; replace with 'tend to enjoy it'. These are sentence-structure and word-choice/adjective/adverb issues handled by restructuring for clarity.

× I'd love to take a walk in Central Park in New York if I had the chance because, uh, it gives me the idea of a quite infinite space in the city to sort of, umm, every year to escape the ordinary hustle and bustle or the city centre.

✓ I'd love to take a walk in Central Park in New York if I had the chance because it gives me the impression of a vast open space in the city where I could escape the ordinary hustle and bustle of the city centre.

Problems: awkward adjective 'quite infinite' (use 'vast open' or 'very large'), incorrect phrase ordering, and unnecessary filler words. Use 'gives me the impression' and 'where I could escape' to express hypothetical present/future desire correctly. Also use 'of the city centre' for correct preposition use.

× So it is a lot of the place I'd love to go one day.

✓ So it is one of the places I'd love to visit one day.

Incorrect structure and word choice: 'a lot of the place' is ungrammatical. Use 'one of the places' and the verb 'visit' for natural expression. This fixes sentence structure and noun phrase formation.

× I went to Saint James's Park last week because it wasn't my very first trip in London and it was great because I had fun and I was also amazed by it wide amount of trees, flowers and wildlife that was there.

✓ I went to St James's Park last week because it wasn't my first trip to London, and it was great because I had fun and was amazed by the large number of trees, flowers, and wildlife there.

Several past-tense and article/preposition issues: 'very first trip in London' should be 'first trip to London' (preposition). 'It wide amount of trees' is ungrammatical; use 'the large number of' or 'the wide variety of'. Also remove redundant 'was' before 'amazed' and use consistent past tense. Abbreviate 'Saint' to 'St' is optional but kept.

× I also had the chance to see the Pelicans which I enjoyed.

✓ I also had the chance to see the pelicans, which I enjoyed.

Capitalization and punctuation: 'Pelicans' need not be capitalized unless part of a proper name; use lowercase 'pelicans'. Add a comma before the nonrestrictive clause 'which I enjoyed'. This corrects sentence structure and punctuation.