Walking— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Câu trả lời đã rõ ràng nhưng cần sửa ngữ pháp, dùng cấu trúc tự nhiên hơn, tránh từ lặp và làm ngắn gọn trong tối đa 5 câu. Chú ý chia động từ và mạo từ (a hectic day -> a hectic day), thay “work” bằng “jog” hoặc “exercise”, và bỏ các tiếng vọng như “like” hoặc “uh”. Có thể thêm một liên từ để kết nối ý (for example, because, so).

예시: Yes, I walk a lot. I usually go for a jog every evening because it helps me relax after a hectic day. I enjoy watching the sunset while I run, and I try to exercise for about 30 minutes most days.

제안: Câu trả lời trực tiếp nhưng có nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp, ngắt quãng và lời nói thừa. Tránh tiếng vọng (“uh”, “well”, “like”) và sửa câu rời thành câu hoàn chỉnh. Nên giải thích ngắn gọn với lý do cụ thể (e.g. after school I preferred indoor activities).

예시: No, I didn't often walk as a child. I loved playing video games, so after school I usually stayed indoors and played for hours, which left little time for outdoor exercise.

제안: Ý chính tốt nhưng nhiều lỗi từ vựng và cấu trúc (work -> walk/exercise; permission -> permission; ‘like’ lặp lại). Cần dùng từ chính xác, sắp xếp câu mạch lạc và dùng liên từ (because, therefore). Thêm ví dụ cụ thể (benches, paths, lake) để tăng tính cụ thể.

예시: People like to walk in parks because they provide large public green spaces with fresh air and peaceful surroundings. Parks often have walking paths, benches and lakes, so they are ideal for jogging or relaxing.

제안: Ý tưởng hấp dẫn nhưng có nhiều lỗi (working -> walking; Long Beach không cần viết hoa nội dung nếu là khái quát; lặp tiếng vọng). Nên mô tả ngắn gọn, dùng tính từ chính xác, sắp xếp câu giúp rõ ràng (I would like to walk along a long beach because...).

예시: If I had the chance, I would take a long walk along a long beach to enjoy the white sand and a beautiful sunrise. I imagine seeing dolphins jumping in the distance and listening to the sound of the waves.

제안: Câu trả lời cần chỉnh sửa nhiều: dùng động từ đúng (worked -> walked), ngữ pháp số (scenery was), tránh từ không phù hợp (‘green cheese’ likely meant 'green trees' or 'grass'), và bỏ tiếng vọng. Nên nêu vị trí, khoảng cách ngắn gọn và mô tả cụ thể hai ba chi tiết thực tế.

예시: Recently I walked in a park near my house, which is only about ten meters from my front door. The park had a tranquil lake, green trees and many dogs, so it felt very pleasant and peaceful.

× I usually go for a jog every evening because I feel much better after busy day with hectic schedule and I enjoy watching the sunset while I'm out.

✓ I usually go for a jog every evening because I feel much better after a busy day with a hectic schedule, and I enjoy watching the sunset while I'm out.

The sentence lacks articles before 'busy day' and 'hectic schedule' and needs a comma before the coordinating conjunction 'and' joining two independent clauses. Add 'a' to make the nouns countable and improve clarity. Also include a comma to separate clauses. Suggested improvement: use definite/indefinite articles appropriately and punctuate compound sentences.

× I try to work for about like 30 minutes most days.

✓ I try to work for about 30 minutes most days.

The filler 'like' is colloquial and unnecessary in formal speech; remove it for clarity. The verb phrase 'try to work' is correct; simplifying the adverbial phrase improves fluency. Suggested improvement: avoid filler words in formal responses.

× When I was a child. I really love playing video games, so after a long day at school I went home and like, stitched into the screen so that I didn't have much time to go exercise.

✓ When I was a child, I really loved playing video games, so after a long day at school I went home and glued myself to the screen, so I didn't have much time to exercise.

Tense inconsistency: 'When I was a child' sets past time, so verbs should be past ('loved' not 'love'). 'Stitched into the screen' is incorrect collocation; use 'glued myself to the screen'. Also 'go exercise' is unnatural; 'exercise' or 'go to exercise' would fit. Removed filler 'like' for clarity. Suggested improvement: keep past-tense verbs consistent and use correct idiomatic expressions.

× Well people often work in parks because they are like large public green spaces where anyone can exercise without like having a permission and park often like have fresh air and peaceful environment.

✓ Well, people often walk in parks because they are large public green spaces where anyone can exercise without needing permission, and parks often have fresh air and a peaceful environment.

Multiple issues: 'work in parks' should be 'walk in parks' given context. 'without like having a permission' is incorrect; use 'without needing permission' or 'without permission'. 'park often like have' should be plural 'parks often have' and include articles: 'a peaceful environment'. Removed fillers 'like'. Suggested improvement: ensure correct prepositions ('in' for parks) and plural agreement for nouns.

× So this can make them feel like ideal when jogging or working and they can feel relaxed.

✓ So this can make them feel relaxed and feel it is ideal for jogging or walking.

'Feel like ideal' is incorrect: 'ideal' is an adjective and needs a noun or 'feel it is ideal'. Also 'working' likely intended 'walking' or 'exercising'—ensure correct word choice. Reordered for natural phrasing. Suggested improvement: match adjective use with a noun or use 'it is' construction.

× Well, I always dream about the scenery of working on a Long Beach with, uh, the white sands and beautiful sunrise, Uh, and like far away there are many dolphins, uh, jump out of the water and the beautiful waves.

✓ Well, I always dream about walking on a long beach with white sand and a beautiful sunrise, and far away many dolphins jump out of the water among the beautiful waves.

Several errors: 'scenery of working on a Long Beach' should be 'walking on a long beach'—'Long Beach' as a proper noun can be lowercase if general; 'white sands' -> 'white sand' (uncountable) or 'white sands' acceptable but 'white sand' more common. Add 'a' before 'beautiful sunrise'. Remove filler words. Correct verb form 'jump' to 'jump' for present general image; word order adjusted. Suggested improvement: use articles with singular nouns and choose correct verbs and collocations.

× Well, recently uh, I worked in a park near my house, so it's quite near with just 10 meters from my front door and the scenery were beautiful there with a tranquil lake and like green cheese and many dogs there.

✓ Well, recently I walked in a park near my house; it's very close, only about 10 meters from my front door, and the scenery was beautiful with a tranquil lake, green trees, and many dogs.

Tense and agreement: 'worked in a park' should be 'walked in a park' given context. 'It's quite near with just 10 meters' is awkward; use 'only about 10 meters'. 'The scenery were' should be singular 'the scenery was'. 'green cheese' is a mispronunciation/typo for 'green trees'. Removed filler 'uh' and 'like'. Suggested improvement: ensure correct verb choice for context, subject-verb agreement, and correct vocabulary.