Walking— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve pronunciation and grammar (e.g., 'woke' → 'walk' and remove gender confusion 'She he'). Make the response concise: give a clear topic sentence and one or two supporting details. Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, 'because' or 'so').

예시: Yes, I walk about an hour every day because I take my seven-month-old son in a baby sling. I enjoy walking along the river near my house because it is peaceful and good exercise.

제안: Provide a complete, coherent answer with correct past tense and linking words. Avoid repetition and finish the thought. Add a brief reason or contrast to enrich the response.

예시: No, I didn't. When I was a child I usually stayed at home and watched TV, although my mother urged me to play outside for exercise. I preferred staying indoors because I felt more comfortable at home.

제안: Avoid repetition and choose precise vocabulary (e.g., 'different atmosphere' → 'a change of scenery'). Use linking words to connect ideas and give specific reasons. Complete the final clause (e.g., 'to get a coffee').

예시: People like parks because they offer a change of scenery and fresh air. For example, I go to Ohori Park to enjoy nature while still being close to the city, and I often stop at a nearby Starbucks to get a coffee afterwards.

제안: Be concise and avoid filler words ('uh', 'as I said'). Use accurate phrasing ('offers over two kilometers of walkways'). Finish sentences and use linking words to explain reasons briefly.

예시: I would like to walk at Ohori Park because it offers more than two kilometers of continuous walkways, so I can walk for a long time and rest at nearby coffee shops afterward.

제안: Clarify the park name and correct grammar ('close to my house', 'it takes about 15 minutes by car'). Remove hesitations and repetition. Give one or two specific details about the walk and complete the description of what you did.

예시: I recently went to Ohori Park, which is about 15 minutes by car from my house. Because it is nearby, I usually stop at a Starbucks to buy a takeaway coffee and then walk around the lake to relax.

× I woke for about one hour every day with my son.

✓ I walked for about one hour every day with my son.

The verb 'wake' is incorrect here; the intended meaning is to walk. Use the past simple 'walked' to match the past time reference 'every day' in the context of a habitual action described in past time. Suggestion: use correct lexical verb and appropriate tense: 'I walked for about one hour every day with my son.'

× She he is just seven months old right now, so I usually use a baby sling to carry him and I enjoy walking along the river near my house.

✓ He is just seven months old right now, so I usually use a baby sling to carry him and I enjoy walking along the river near my house.

The sentence contains conflicting pronouns 'She he' causing pronoun error. Use the correct single pronoun 'He' to refer to the son. Also maintain consistency with 'him'. Suggestion: remove the incorrect pronoun and keep 'He is just seven months old right now.'

× No, I didn't. I usually stay home, stayed home watching TV all day long.

✓ No, I didn't. I usually stayed home, stayed home watching TV all day long.

The response begins with past reference 'No, I didn't', so the habitual action should be in past tense 'stayed' not present 'stay'. Use consistent past tense for past habits: 'I usually stayed home, stayed home watching TV all day long.' Alternatively, change the first clause to present if the speaker means present habit.

× My mother always said to me you should go out to play with someone and to get exercise.

✓ My mother always told me I should go out to play with others and get some exercise.

The phrase 'said to me' is acceptable but 'told me' is more natural. 'You should' shifts perspective; change to reported speech 'I should'. 'Someone' is awkward for general others; use 'others'. Also 'to get exercise' becomes 'get some exercise' for naturalness. This addresses direct/indirect speech and pronoun perspective.

× But I like to stay home and.

✓ But I liked staying at home.

The original sentence is incomplete ending with 'and.' Also tense should match past context, so use 'liked' or 'liked staying at home.' Use gerund 'staying' and include object 'at home' for correct structure.

× I think people can feel different atmosphere atmosphere from their neighborhood.

✓ I think people can feel a different atmosphere from their neighborhood.

The word 'atmosphere' was repeated and missing an article. Use 'a different atmosphere' not 'different atmosphere atmosphere'. Add article 'a' and remove duplicate word.

× I usually go to Ohuri Park to immerse myself in nature and also urbanized atmosphere at the same time.

✓ I usually go to Ohori Park to immerse myself in nature and in the urban atmosphere at the same time.

The phrase 'urbanized atmosphere' is awkward; 'urban atmosphere' is better. Include preposition 'in' before both nouns for parallel structure: 'in nature and in the urban atmosphere.' Also correct park name spelling to 'Ohori' if intended.

× And I usually drop by coffee shop Starbucks to get some.

✓ And I usually drop by the Starbucks coffee shop to get some coffee.

Missing article 'the' before specific place and missing noun after 'get some.' Reorder to 'Starbucks coffee shop' or simply 'Starbucks' and complete the object: 'to get some coffee.'

× As I said, I usually go to Old Park uh, which allows me to spend a lot of time to walk because it provides walkways for about more than two kilometers.

✓ As I said, I usually go to Ohori Park, which allows me to spend a lot of time walking because it has walkways of more than two kilometers.

Use gerund 'walking' after 'spend time' rather than infinitive 'to walk.' Also 'provides walkways for about more than two kilometers' is awkward: 'has walkways of more than two kilometers' is clearer. Fix park name to 'Ohori' if consistent.

× In addition to this, I can drop by a coffee shop to get rest when I.

✓ In addition to this, I can drop by a coffee shop to rest when I need to.

The sentence is incomplete ending with 'when I.' Add 'need to' to complete the clause: 'when I need to.' Also use 'to rest' instead of 'to get rest.'

× I went to a park called Oh holy no, no, no more. We could call and because it's close from my house and it takes about 15 minutes by car, I usually go to Starbucks again, uh, to get the take off, take off coffee and I enjoy drink.

✓ I went to a park called Ohori. We can call it that because it's close to my house and it takes about 15 minutes by car. I usually go to Starbucks again to get a takeaway coffee and I enjoy drinking it.

This original contains many problems: garbled park name, incorrect preposition 'close from' should be 'close to,' and awkward phrases 'take the take off' should be 'takeaway coffee.' 'Enjoy drink' should be 'enjoy drinking it.' Also break into clearer sentences. Corrections adhere to preposition and verb form rules.