Food— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce hesitations and repetitions, give a clear topic sentence and concise supporting detail. Mention a specific reason and an example of when you make it. Keep answer to 2–4 sentences and use linking words to connect ideas (for example, “because”, “also”, “for example”).

예시: I absolutely love biryani because it combines fragrant spices and tender meat, which creates a rich, comforting flavour. I also enjoy making it with my family on festival days, for example during Eid, when we all cook together and share the meal.

제안: Avoid filler words and fragmented sentences. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific examples and one brief reason or memory. Use linking words such as “for example”, “also”, or “because” to organize details.

예시: When I was young I loved sweet foods, especially chocolate ice cream and lollipops. For example, my favourite was a cherry lollipop, and birthday parties were exciting because there were always many desserts and a big cake.

제안: Good structure and relevant details, but cut hesitations and small errors. Use concise sentences and a couple of linking words to make responses smoother. Add one specific example of a seasonal dish to be more vivid.

예시: Yes, I eat different foods in different seasons. For instance, in winter I often have hot chicken soup to keep warm, while in summer I prefer fresh salads with cucumber and tomato because they are cooling and healthy.

× I absolutely love biryani because, uh, MMM, though it has very basic ingredients, it offers a great flavour, uh, flavour.

✓ I absolutely love biryani because, although it has very basic ingredients, it offers a great flavour.

The original sentence repeats filler words and uses 'though' plus a clause awkwardly. This is mainly a pronoun/reference/style issue because 'it' correctly refers to biryani but the sentence is disfluent. Remove fillers and use 'although' for clearer subordinate clause: 'although it has very basic ingredients'. Also remove repeated words for fluency.

× I also enjoy making it with my family and on special occasions and uh, it's, it has been.

✓ I also enjoy making it with my family on special occasions, and it has become a family tradition.

The original sentence is incomplete and disfluent ('it's, it has been' does not finish the thought). This is a sentence structure error. Complete the idea by stating what 'it has been' — for example, 'it has become a family tradition'. Remove filler 'uh' and extra conjunctions for clarity.

× Uh, definitely like other kids, I like, I love to have uh, sweet foods like chocolate ice creams and MMM lollipop was my favorite.

✓ Like other kids, I loved sweet foods such as chocolate ice cream and lollipops.

The question asks about when the student was young, so past tense should be used. The original mixes present and past ('I like' vs 'was my favorite'). This is a tense issue: use past tense 'loved' and 'chocolate ice cream' (uncountable) and plural 'lollipops' or 'a lollipop' as appropriate.

× Popsicles was my favorite.

✓ Popsicles were my favorite.

Subject-verb agreement with plural subject 'Popsicles' requires plural verb 'were'. This is a singular/plural error (and subject-verb agreement). Use 'were' for plural subjects.

× Uh, I but birthday parties were also exciting because they had a lot of desserts and cakes and I.

✓ But birthday parties were also exciting because they had a lot of desserts and cakes.

The original sentence is incomplete and contains unnecessary disfluencies ('Uh, I but ... and I.'). This is a sentence structure error. Remove fillers and the dangling 'and I' to form a complete sentence.

× Definitely, I eat different foods on different seasons.

✓ Definitely, I eat different foods in different seasons.

Use 'in' with 'seasons' not 'on'. Preposition choice is incorrect. 'In different seasons' is the correct collocation.

× For instance when in in winter I like to have hot soups and to keep me warm And uh in summers I like to have salads as they are cool and fresh and also healthy.

✓ For instance, in winter I like to have hot soups to keep me warm, and in summer I like to have salads because they are cool, fresh, and healthy.

There are repetitions ('in in'), inconsistent tense/number ('summers' → 'summer'), and run-on structure. This is a sentence structure error. Clean up by removing repetition, using singular season forms ('winter', 'summer') as general periods, and connecting clauses with commas and conjunctions. Use 'because' for reason and list adjectives with commas.