Building— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Сократите и упростите ответ, чтобы он был более естественным и связным. Начните с чётного тематического предложения, затем добавьте одно-два конкретных поддерживающих предложения. Избегайте заполнителей («uh», «you can») и грамматических ошибок (например, «taking the pictures» → «I like taking photos»). Используйте связки (for example, because) и конкретику (какие здания, кому вы показываете фото, зачем).

예시: Yes, I often take photos of buildings. I enjoy photographing old monuments and modern architecture because their details and shapes are interesting. For example, I like capturing façades and doorways to share with my friends and to keep memories of places I visit.

제안: Сформулируйте прямой ответ на вопрос, назовите конкретное здание и объясните почему. Избегайте повторов и лишних слов, исправьте ошибки в словоупотреблении (например, «Big Ben watch» → «Big Ben» или «the Elizabeth Tower»). Добавьте короткое объяснение, где и когда вы хотите его посетить, используя связки (because, because of, for example).

예시: Yes, I would like to visit Big Ben in London. I am fascinated by its history and the clock’s architecture, and I would love to see it in person when I travel to the UK. For example, I want to hear the bells and take some photos of the tower at sunset.

× Taking the pictures of the buildings can be favorable activities in the world and cause, uh, you can uh, build your confidence looking at the, uh, monuments and you can create your own pictures while sharing to the friends.

✓ Taking pictures of buildings can be a rewarding activity worldwide and can help you build confidence when looking at monuments; you can also create your own photos to share with friends.

Original sentence misuses 'the' before 'pictures' and 'buildings' and uses plural 'activities' where a singular 'activity' or uncountable phrase is appropriate; awkward phrasing 'cause' is incorrect and 'sharing to the friends' uses wrong preposition and article. Use the gerund 'Taking' correctly with direct object 'pictures', use 'a rewarding activity' (singular, uncountable), use 'help you build' instead of 'cause you can build', and 'share with friends' for correct preposition and article. Suggestions: remove unnecessary articles, replace 'favorable' with more natural 'rewarding', use parallel structure and correct prepositions.

× I live in Uzbekistan and there are many huge buildings, uh, and they are hotels or flat or some, uh, casual buildings, but, uh, I would like to visit to the Big Ben watch, uh, which is huge, uh, watch in the world.

✓ I live in Uzbekistan and there are many large buildings, such as hotels, flats, or other ordinary buildings, but I would like to visit Big Ben, which is the largest clock tower in the world.

Errors: incorrect article use 'the Big Ben watch' (use 'Big Ben' without 'the' and 'watch' is wrong word), 'visit to' is incorrect — use 'visit' with no 'to', 'flat' should be plural 'flats' or 'an apartment', and 'huge watch' is awkward; use 'largest clock tower' or 'famous clock tower'. Also 'casual buildings' is unnatural; use 'ordinary' or 'typical'. Suggestions: remove unnecessary 'the', correct noun choice ('clock tower' instead of 'watch'), use plural nouns for general categories, and omit 'to' after 'visit'.