Building— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Сократите повторения и исправьте грамматику. Начните с прямого предложения, затем добавьте одну-две конкретные детали. Используйте связующие слова (for example, also) и правильные предлоги (near my home, such as). Например: «Yes — there are several tall buildings near my home. For example, there are high-rise apartment blocks and a distinctive pyramid-shaped tower. They are mostly residential and stand out in the skyline.»

예시: Yes, there are several tall buildings near my home. For example, there is a pyramid-shaped tower and many high-rise apartment blocks. They are mostly residential and really stand out in the skyline.

제안: Исправьте грамматические ошибки и избегайте фразы «show off». Дайте короткое прямое утверждение, объясните причину и приведите один конкретный пример, используя связку (because, for instance). Например: «Yes, I often take photos because I like architectural details. For instance, I photograph facades and share the best shots with friends.»

예시: Yes, I often take photos of buildings because I enjoy architectural details. For instance, I photograph interesting facades and share the best shots with my friends.

제안: Сформулируйте чёткое желание и дайте конкретные примеры и причину. Избегайте разговорных сокращений (wanna) и неправильной последовательности слов. Используйте связки (for example, because). Например: «I would like to visit famous buildings in Paris, such as the Eiffel Tower, because I have admired them since childhood.»

예시: I would like to visit famous buildings in Paris, such as the Eiffel Tower, because I have admired them since childhood. I also hope to see landmarks in other countries, like the pyramids in Egypt, to learn more about their history.

× Absolutely nearest my home, a lot of tall buildings like Pyramid and other very famous buildings like that.

✓ Absolutely near my home there are a lot of tall buildings, like the Pyramid and other very famous buildings.

The original sentence has incorrect word order and missing verb phrase. Use 'near my home' not 'nearest my home', and include 'there are' to state existence. Add the definite article 'the' for specific landmarks. Suggestion: place prepositional phrase ('near my home') after adverb 'absolutely' and use 'there are' for existence.

× And so a lot of other apartments, very tall apartments.

✓ There are also many other apartments, very tall apartments.

The original fragment lacks a verb and uses informal structure. 'A lot of other apartments' is plural so use 'are' and 'many' for clarity. Make it a full sentence by adding 'There are'.

× Yes because when I going to near tall building I just take photo to show off when I meet my friends and just talking about this photos like famous photos.

✓ Yes, because when I go near a tall building I just take photos to show off when I meet my friends and talk about these photos, like famous photos.

Multiple issues: 'going to near' is incorrect — use simple present 'go' for habitual actions. Use 'photos' plural not 'photo' and 'these' instead of 'this' for plural. Use base verb 'talk' (not 'talking') after 'and' to match parallel structure. Use article 'a' before 'tall building'. Suggestions: keep simple present for habitual actions and maintain parallel verb forms.

× Of course, after the school I wanna visit a lot of buildings like buildings in Paris and other country like pyramid and very famous buildings when I saw my childhood.

✓ Of course, after school I want to visit many buildings, such as those in Paris and other countries, like the Pyramids and other very famous buildings I saw in my childhood.

Problems: 'the school' is unnatural here; use 'after school'. 'Wanna' is informal — use 'want to'. 'a lot of buildings' -> 'many buildings'. 'Other country' should be plural 'other countries'. 'pyramid' should be plural/proper noun 'the Pyramids' and needs 'the'. 'When I saw my childhood' is incorrect time expression; use 'I saw in my childhood'. Also ensure consistent future intention 'want to visit' is correct. Suggestions: use standard forms, correct articles, and proper time clause order.