Building— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve accuracy, clarity and fluency. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct key vocabulary (buildings, not bedding), and avoid filler words. Give one specific example and a brief detail about location or appearance. Use linking words to make it coherent.

예시: Yes, there are several tall buildings near my home. For example, the NTT Docomo Tower and the Cocoon Tower are both within a ten-minute walk from my apartment. They are modern high-rises with distinctive shapes, so they’re easy to spot from the street.

제안: Correct vocabulary and improve sentence structure. State a clear topic sentence and then give a reason or frequency. Replace 'beddings' with 'buildings' and use simple linking words (because, since, when) to explain why or when you take photos.

예시: Yes, I often take photos of buildings. Since I bought a new camera two years ago, I usually photograph interesting architecture when I go out because I enjoy capturing unique details and urban scenes.

제안: Clarify the building name and purpose. Give a concise reason and use correct verbs—e.g., 'study' or 'learn about' architecture rather than 'run.' Provide one specific detail about what you want to see or learn. Limit fillers and finish with a complete sentence.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit Katsura Imperial Villa in Kyoto because I want to study traditional Japanese architecture. I’m especially interested in the garden design and the harmony between buildings and nature.

제안: Use clear, natural phrasing and give a specific reason. Replace incorrect words ('dip in', 'bedding') with 'live in' and 'building'. Explain one or two concrete inconveniences (e.g., elevator dependence, noise, lack of garden) and use linking words like 'because' or 'so'.

예시: No, I wouldn’t want to live in a tall building because it feels inconvenient. For example, I would be dependent on elevators and I would miss having a private garden or easy access to outdoor space.

× Yeah, there are tall bedding in my house, uh, for example, uh, Docomo tower and uh, cocoon building, uh, in near my house.

✓ Yeah, there are tall buildings near my house, for example, the Docomo Tower and the Cocoon Building.

The student used 'bedding' (uncountable noun) instead of the plural countable 'buildings' and included redundant 'in'. Use plural 'buildings' to match 'there are'. Also use 'near my house' (no 'in') and capitalize proper nouns; include the definite article 'the' before specific building names. Suggestion: practice matching plural nouns with plural verbs and avoid extra prepositions.

× Yes, I usually take photo of beddings.

✓ Yes, I usually take photos of buildings.

The verb phrase should use the plural count noun 'photos' not singular 'photo' after 'take', and 'beddings' is incorrect; use 'buildings'. 'Take photos' is the correct collocation. Suggestion: learn common verb + noun collocations and pluralize countable nouns when appropriate.

× Since I bought a new camera, uh, two years ago, I have taken photo during going out.

✓ Since I bought a new camera two years ago, I have taken photos when I go out.

Use plural 'photos' and 'when I go out' instead of 'during going out'. Also 'since' with a past time is acceptable with present perfect; keep 'have taken' but correct the accompanying time expression. Suggestion: use 'when I go out' for habitual actions and pluralize countable nouns.

× Yes, I would like to visit, uh, Katsura Niku in Kyoto because I. Want to run architecture deeply?

✓ Yes, I would like to visit Katsura Imperial Villa in Kyoto because I want to study architecture in depth.

The original has a fragment 'I.' and an incorrect 'run architecture deeply?' which is ungrammatical. Likely intended meaning is 'study architecture in depth.' Also 'Katsura Niku' seems incorrect name; 'Katsura Imperial Villa' is a known site. Remove extra punctuation and convert to a statement. Suggestion: form complete clauses (subject + verb), use appropriate verbs ('study') and adverbial phrases ('in depth').

× No, I wouldn't like to dip in tall bedding because I think it's inconvenient.

✓ No, I wouldn't like to live in a tall building because I think it's inconvenient.

Use 'wouldn't like to' + base verb 'live' not 'dip in'. 'Bedding' is incorrect; use 'building' singular or 'tall buildings' plural to match context. Suggestion: use correct verbs for meaning ('live in') and correct noun forms.

× Uh, waiting Albert and uh.

✓ It feels crowded and I would have to wait a long time, for example for the elevator.

The original 'waiting Albert and uh' is ungrammatical and unclear. Likely the speaker meant waiting for elevators or people; provide a complete clause explaining what is inconvenient about tall buildings. Suggestion: express complete reasons with subject and verb and clarify reference (elevator, long lines).