Building— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct and concise: start with a clear topic sentence answering the question, avoid hesitations and unclear phrases (e.g. “like sky, skies, paper”), and limit to 2–3 supporting sentences. Use linking words (for example, “also” or “because”) correctly and give a specific detail about the buildings (height, style, or what you like about them). Work on fluency to reduce fillers (umm, uh).

예시: Yes. There are several tall residential and office towers near my home because I live in the city centre. For example, a 30-storey glass skyscraper stands two blocks away, and there is a large shopping mall next to it, which I visit every weekend.

제안: Answer directly and give a specific reason and example. Reduce repetition and hesitations, and use linking words to connect ideas (for example, “because” and “so”). Mention a specific building or scene you like to photograph and how you use the photos (e.g. albums, social media). Keep to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes, I often photograph buildings because they remind me of places I have visited and their architecture interests me. For instance, I took many photos of an old colonial courthouse last month and I later uploaded the best shots to an online album for friends to see.

제안: Be specific and concise: name the building and give one or two clear reasons why you want to visit it. Avoid filler words and unclear phrases like “it's the first village.” Use linking words (for example, “because” and “for example”) to structure your answer. Mention what you would do there for a stronger answer.

예시: Yes. I would like to visit the Dubai Mall in Dubai because it is one of the largest shopping centres in the world and has many attractions. I want to see the aquarium, shop at international stores, and experience the lively atmosphere there.

제안: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence (Yes or No) and follow with 1–2 specific reasons connected by linking words like “because” and “so”. Avoid repetition and hesitations. Use precise vocabulary (detached house, noisy environment, privacy) and give a short example of how living in a detached house would suit you.

예시: No, I wouldn't like to live in a tall building because I prefer a detached house for privacy and quiet. For example, in a detached house I could study without noise from neighbours and have a small garden where I can relax after work.

× I live in the big city so I have around me some tall buildings and I'd like to say that it's umm, like sky, skies, paper or something like that.

✓ I live in a big city so there are several tall buildings around me, and I'd like to say that they reach the sky or something like that.

The original sentence has issues with article use and pluralization. 'The big city' implies a specific city; use 'a big city' to speak generally. 'I have around me some tall buildings' is awkward; use 'there are several tall buildings around me.' 'It's ... like sky, skies' is unclear—use 'they reach the sky' to describe tall buildings. Also replace 'paper' which is incorrect in this context. Suggestions: use correct articles ('a' for nonspecific singular nouns), use plural agreement ('buildings' with 'there are'), and choose clearer verbs and nouns.

× Yes, of course, I enjoy taking photos of building because it's it reminds me about my umm, particular moments of my life and also I like reviewing my photos.

✓ Yes, of course, I enjoy taking photos of buildings because it reminds me of particular moments in my life and I also like reviewing my photos.

Use the gerund 'taking' correctly with plural noun 'buildings' (singular 'building' is incorrect when speaking generally). Remove redundant 'it' and use 'reminds me of' (correct preposition). 'Particular moments of my life' is better as 'particular moments in my life.' Suggestions: match nouns and verbs in number, avoid redundant words, and use correct prepositions ('remind someone of something').

× So yes, umm, I'm taking photos of also nature scenes and something like that.

✓ So yes, I also take photos of natural scenes and similar subjects.

The continuous present 'I'm taking photos of' suggests an action happening right now; use simple present 'I take' for habitual action. 'Nature scenes' is better phrased 'natural scenes.' Place 'also' before the verb for natural word order. Suggestion: use simple present for habits and standard adjective forms ('natural').

× I like traveling so much so, uh, there are uh, so there are plenty of countries and umm, buildings, umm, I want, I'd like to visit, for example, Dubai Mall in Dubai.

✓ I like traveling very much, so there are many countries and buildings I would like to visit; for example, Dubai Mall in Dubai.

The original repeats 'there are' awkwardly and mixes structures. Use 'there are many countries and buildings I would like to visit' to express existence and desire. Also 'I'd like' matches conditional polite desire better than 'I want' in this context. Suggestion: avoid repetition of 'there are' and combine clauses for clarity.

× It's the first, it's the first village I want to visit because there are so many shops and umm yes, we don't have it right now.

✓ It is the first place I want to visit because it has so many shops, and we don't have anything like it here right now.

Calling a mall a 'village' is incorrect word choice; use 'place' or 'mall.' Repeating 'it's the first' is redundant. 'There are so many shops' is acceptable but better as 'it has so many shops.' 'We don't have it' is unclear; specify 'anything like it here.' Suggestions: choose accurate nouns, remove redundancy, and clarify references.

× Umm, I'd like to say no because, uh, I want to have a detachment house because it's so cool for me, umm, to have this house.

✓ I'd like to say no because I want to have a detached house; it's more appealing to me to have my own house.

'Detachment house' is incorrect; the correct adjective is 'detached' to describe a standalone house. 'I'd like to say no because I want to have' is fine, but improve naturalness: 'it's more appealing to me' or 'I prefer having my own house.' Suggestions: use correct adjective forms and natural modal phrasing.

× Uh, I don't want to live in a tall building because there are so many people and it and a lot of noise.

✓ I don't want to live in a tall building because there are so many people and a lot of noise.

The original has an extraneous 'it and' fragment. Remove the unnecessary pronoun to maintain correct sentence structure. Ensure subject-verb agreement remains correct ('there are so many people'). Suggestion: eliminate filler words that break sentence flow.

× Uh, and umm, what I'm doing my homework or my work, it, it will be, it will be bother me.

✓ When I'm doing my homework or work, it will bother me.

The original misuses pronouns and word order: 'what I'm doing my homework' is ungrammatical. Use 'when' to indicate time, place the subject 'it' correctly, and use the verb 'bother' without extra 'be' forms. 'It will bother me' is the correct future reference. Suggestion: use subordinating conjunctions like 'when' for time clauses and avoid redundant aux verbs.