Building— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid repetition/fillers. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct minor grammar (e.g., 'high-rise', 'have changed').

예시: Yes. I live in a busy city surrounded by many high-rise apartment blocks and office towers. As a result, many old bungalows were demolished and newer apartments were built, which has changed the character of the neighbourhood.

제안: Avoid repetition and incomplete sentences. Give a clear reason and one specific example using linking words (e.g., 'because', 'so'). Fix pronoun/phrase errors and finish your thought.

예시: Not really. I prefer photographing nature because I find concrete and glass uninspiring, so I usually go to local parks to take landscape photos, such as ponds and tree-lined paths.

제안: Reduce hesitations and repetitions. Give one clear reason and a specific detail. Replace fillers (uh, umm) with a pause and correct phrasing (e.g., 'well-preserved').

예시: Yes. I would like to visit the Forbidden City in Beijing because it contains some of the largest and best-preserved wooden structures in the world, and I am fascinated by its long imperial history and architecture.

제안: Avoid repetition and fix grammar (e.g., 'offers', 'my colleague lives', 'complains'). Give a concise reason and one concrete example. Use linking words like 'because' or 'for example' to connect ideas.

예시: No, I prefer living in a house with a garden because it is quieter and offers more privacy. For example, my colleague who lives in a tall apartment often complains about loud music from neighbours at night.

× I live in a busy city that is surrounded by numerous high rise residential blocks and office towers.

✓ I live in a busy city that is surrounded by numerous high-rise residential blocks and office towers.

Use of compound adjective 'high-rise' requires a hyphen when placed before a noun. Without the hyphen it is incorrect adjective formatting; hyphenating clarifies that 'high-rise' modifies 'residential blocks'. Improve by using hyphenated compound adjectives before nouns.

× This. Yes, a lot of bungalows were demolished and tall apartment buildings were constructed which has changed the community.

✓ Yes, a lot of bungalows were demolished and tall apartment buildings were constructed, which has changed the community.

The fragment 'This.' is an incomplete sentence and should be removed. Also ensure correct comma before the non-restrictive clause 'which has changed the community.' Removing the fragment and adding a comma fixes sentence structure.

× I prefer photographing nature to man made structures.

✓ I prefer photographing nature to man-made structures.

'Man-made' is a compound adjective describing 'structures' and should be hyphenated. The gerund 'photographing' is fine; correct the adjective formatting to 'man-made'.

× I get tired of the concrete and glass in the city.

✓ I get tired of the concrete and glass in the city.

Sentence is grammatically correct. No change needed.

× I usually go to the I usually go to parks to take pictures of landscapes and why.

✓ I usually go to parks to take pictures of landscapes and wildlife.

The original contains repetition ('I usually go to the I usually go to') and ends with 'why' which is likely a mis-transcription of 'wildlife'. Correcting removes repetition and restores the intended noun 'wildlife' to complete the sentence.

× I would like to visit the the Forbidden City in Beijing, which has, uh, some of the biggest, which has some of the largest and best preserved wooden structures in the world.

✓ I would like to visit the Forbidden City in Beijing, which has some of the largest and best-preserved wooden structures in the world.

Duplicate article 'the the' should be reduced to a single 'the'. The clause was repeated; remove redundancy. 'Best preserved' as a compound adjective before a noun should be hyphenated to 'best-preserved'. Also remove extra filler and duplicated phrase for clarity.

× I'm fascinated by its, umm, history unsolved.

✓ I'm fascinated by its unsolved history.

The phrase 'history unsolved' has incorrect word order. Place the adjective 'unsolved' before 'history' or use 'unsolved history' or better 'its unresolved history' to be natural. Removing filler 'umm' also improves fluency.

× No, not really. I prefer to live in a house with a garden which is quieter and more peaceful and offer and offers more privacy.

✓ No, not really. I prefer to live in a house with a garden, which is quieter and more peaceful and offers more privacy.

There is a redundant 'offer and offers' and subject-verb agreement issue: the relative clause refers to 'a house with a garden' (singular), so the verb must be 'offers'. Remove the duplicate verb 'offer' and use 'offers'. Add a comma before the non-restrictive clause 'which is quieter...'. Hyphenation not required here.

× My colleague live in a tall apartment and she often complaints that her labor praise loud music at night and she has to.

✓ My colleague lives in a tall apartment and she often complains that her neighbors play loud music at night and she has to...

Multiple errors: 'colleague' is singular so verb must be 'lives' (subject-verb agreement). 'Complaints' should be the verb 'complains'. 'Labor praise' is a mis-transcription; likely 'neighbors play'. Replace with 'neighbors play' to make sense. The sentence ends abruptly with 'and she has to' — it should be completed (e.g., 'and she has to ask them to keep it down'). Improvements: correct verb forms, correct nouns, and complete the final clause for clarity.