Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct, use correct sentence structure, reduce hesitations and provide one clear topic sentence plus one or two supporting details. Mention specific observations and use linking words to connect ideas. For example, say you often look out because you enjoy scenery, then give a specific detail about what you notice and why.

예시: Yes, I often look out of the window when I travel by car or bus because I enjoy watching the changing scenery. For example, I like noticing small shops and parks along the route, and I find it relaxing to see people going about their day. Because it helps me unwind, I usually keep my eyes on the view throughout the journey.

제안: Give a direct answer and support it with specific reasons. Avoid vague phrases and filler words. Use linking words (for example, because, so, therefore) to make your explanation coherent and add a short example of a situation to illustrate your point.

예시: No, I usually don't take photos because I prefer to enjoy the view with my own eyes. For instance, when I'm on a long bus ride I focus on the landscape and memories rather than taking pictures, so I can fully relax and remember the experience.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence stating your preference or that it depends, then explain briefly with specific reasons and an example. Use linking words (for example, however, because, when) and avoid repetitive hesitations. Keep to two or three sentences maximum.

예시: It depends on my mood: sometimes I prefer the mountains because I enjoy hiking and fresh air, while at other times I choose the sea for relaxation and swimming. For example, if I want peace and exercise I'll go to the mountains, but if I want to unwind and enjoy sunsets I'll go to the beach.

× I often look how the window when I travel by car or bus because I enjoy, uh, looking the viewing when I communicate commutering, uh, In fact, I noticed the.

✓ I often look out of the window when I travel by car or bus because I enjoy looking at the view when I commute. In fact, I notice it.

Original sentence uses wrong pronouns and incorrect verbs: 'look how the window' is ungrammatical; correct phrase is 'look out of the window' or 'look out the window.' 'Looking the viewing' should be 'looking at the view.' 'Communicate commutering' is incorrect word choice; use 'commute.' Tense consistency: use present simple 'travel'/'commute' for habitual actions and 'I notice' rather than 'I noticed' to match habit. Suggestions: use correct phrasal verbs (look out of), preposition 'at' with 'look', and correct noun 'view' and verb 'commute.'

× Of course not because I feel my eye is the best camera. I think so, uh, in fact, I just enjoy looking, looking fuse and uh, I want to enjoy the changing of views.

✓ Of course not, because I feel my eyes are the best camera. In fact, I just enjoy looking and I want to enjoy the changing views.

Errors: 'my eye is the best camera' is unnatural; use plural 'my eyes are' for both eyes. 'Looking, looking fuse' is unclear; likely intended 'looking' or 'looking at the view.' 'Changing of views' is wordy; use 'changing views.' Maintain present simple for general statements. Suggestions: use plural for body parts typically in pairs, remove filler repetition, and prefer concise noun phrases ('changing views').

× To be honest, it depends on, uh, the way and my, uh, my feelings when I travel, uh, I don't care about the mountain of view. I just notice and enjoy, uh, the changing of view. I think uh, every.

✓ To be honest, it depends on the route and my feelings when I travel. I don't care about a mountain view; I just notice and enjoy the changing views.

Problems: 'depends on the way' is understandable but 'route' is more natural; 'mountain of view' is incorrect preposition and word order — correct is 'mountain view' or 'a view of the mountains.' 'Changing of view' should be 'changing views' (no 'of'). Article use: include 'a' before 'mountain view.' Suggestions: use correct noun compounds ('mountain view'), avoid unnecessary fillers, and use plural 'views' for varying scenery.