Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce repetition and grammatical errors, open with a clear topic sentence, and use one or two supporting details with linking words. Keep the answer within 3–4 concise sentences. Correct verbs and verb forms (e.g., “watching” → “watch”), avoid redundant phrases (“of all places and of all occasions”), and add a linking phrase to connect ideas.

예시: Yes — I always look out of the window, especially at sunset. I often stop to watch the sky and sometimes take photos because the colors are very striking. When I don’t use my phone, I prefer to just sit quietly and enjoy the view.

제안: Make sentences grammatically correct and more concise, use linking words to contrast ideas (e.g., “however,” “but”), and avoid filler words like “yeah” and repeated phrases. Fix verb forms (e.g., “watch and act and enjoying it” → “watch and enjoy it”) and limit to 2–3 supporting details (when, why, what you do with photos).

예시: Sometimes I take photos of the scenery with my phone, especially if the light is good. However, I also enjoy just watching without taking pictures so I can fully appreciate the moment, and occasionally I post the best shots on social media.

제안: Start with a clear topic sentence giving your preference, then briefly explain reasons using linking words (e.g., “because,” “however”). Remove hesitations and repetitions to sound more confident. Provide one specific reason why you prefer the sea to make the answer more concrete.

예시: I prefer the sea because I enjoy the calming sound of waves and the open horizon. I appreciate mountains for their grandeur, but the sea helps me relax and swim, so I would choose the coast for a holiday.

× Whenever I drive my car around the sunset time, I like to grab my phone and take pictures or even watching it, meditate to it and contemplate the scene.

✓ Whenever I drive my car around sunset, I like to grab my phone and take pictures or even watch it, meditate to it, and contemplate the scene.

The original sentence mixes base verb forms with an -ing form ('take' vs 'watching'). After 'and' in a list of verbs coordinated with 'like to', all verbs should use the base form with 'to' understood: 'like to take', 'like to watch', 'like to meditate'. Use parallel structure and remove extra articles ('the sunset time' -> 'sunset'). Suggestion: Keep verbs parallel (watch, meditate, contemplate) and simplify time expression.

× It's very, very beautiful and sunset is my favorite scenery of all places and of all occasions.

✓ It's very, very beautiful, and the sunset is my favorite scene of all places and occasions.

'Scenery' refers to a view or landscape collectively and is less natural with 'my favorite'; 'scene' or 'view' fits better. Also include the definite article 'the' before 'sunset' when referring to a specific phenomenon. Remove redundant 'of' before 'occasions.' Suggestion: Use 'the sunset' and 'my favorite scene' for natural phrasing.

× Although sometimes I like to contemplate it without any devices around me, just watch and act and enjoying it.

✓ Although sometimes I like to contemplate it without any devices around me, just watch and act and enjoy it.

Again there is a mix of base verbs ('watch', 'act') with an -ing form ('enjoying'). After 'just' listing actions keep verbs in the base form for parallelism: 'watch, act, and enjoy'. Suggestion: Keep coordinated verbs in the same form for clarity.

× But sometimes, yeah, I grab my phone and take pictures and share it on social media.

✓ But sometimes, yeah, I grab my phone, take pictures, and share them on social media.

The pronoun 'it' does not agree with 'pictures' (plural). Use 'them' to refer to plural 'pictures'. Also commas improve readability. Suggestion: Ensure pronoun number matches the noun it replaces.

× That's very difficult question.

✓ That's a very difficult question.

The sentence is missing the indefinite article 'a' before 'very difficult question.' English requires an article with singular countable nouns: 'a question.' Suggestion: Use 'a' or 'the' as appropriate with singular countable nouns.

× I like the greatness of the mountains, but I also like the depth of the sea.

✓ I like the grandeur of the mountains, but I also like the depth of the sea.

This is mainly a word-choice issue ('greatness' is grammatical but 'grandeur' is more natural when describing mountains). The sentence is grammatically correct but can be improved for naturalness. Suggestion: Choose more natural collocations: 'grandeur of the mountains.'

× It's very hard to pick one, but if I have to, I would go to, I would go for the sea.

✓ It's very hard to pick one, but if I have to, I would go for the sea.

The original repeats 'I would go' and contains an unnecessary 'to,' causing awkward structure. Use a single phrase 'I would go for the sea.' Suggestion: Avoid repetition and extra words for concise responses.