Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence that answers the question, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and correct small grammar issues (e.g., prepositions and articles).

예시: Yes. I always look out of the window when I travel to new places because I enjoy seeing the landscape and local life. For example, on a recent trip I watched small villages and rice fields pass by, which gave me a better sense of the region’s culture.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and include specific examples and sequencing words. Fix grammar (e.g., articles and verb forms) and avoid redundant phrases like 'photos and videos' repeated. Limit to up to five sentences.

예시: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery from the car because I want to remember special views. For instance, last month I filmed a golden sunset over terraced fields and later looked back at those clips to relive the trip.

제안: Answer directly then give two specific reasons with linking words. Correct sentence structure and phrasing; avoid fragments and questions inside the answer. Provide clear examples to support your preference.

예시: I prefer the mountains because they offer quiet trails and varied wildlife. For example, I enjoy hiking to a ridge to watch mist roll through the valleys, and I can meet local hikers who tell me about hidden paths.

× Guess when I go to the new places, I always look on the windows to see the beauty of that place.

✓ Guess when I go to new places, I always look out of the windows to see the beauty of the place.

The preposition 'on' is incorrect for looking through a window; use 'out of' or 'out' + 'the window(s)'. Also 'the new places' is better as 'new places' for general reference; 'that place' becomes 'the place' for clarity.

× Like when you it's only about that traveling.

✓ It's like when you travel, it's only about the journey.

The original mixes pronouns and verbs incorrectly ('you it's'); restructure the sentence to a clear subject and verb. Use 'travel' (verb) and 'journey' as a more natural noun than 'traveling' in this context.

× It's not about the place where you are going, it's all about the traveling.

✓ It's not about the place you are going to; it's all about the travel.

Redundant 'where' can be omitted: 'the place you are going to' or 'the place you are going'. 'Traveling' as a noun is informal; use 'travel' or 'the journey'. Also punctuation improved for clarity.

× Like where you go through which place in your way, the scenery, the beautiful things you will see only by the travelling, not by the place where you go.

✓ It's about which places you pass on the way: the scenery and beautiful things you see while travelling, not the destination.

Awkward pronoun and clause order ('where you go through which place in your way'). Reorder to 'which places you pass on the way' and use 'while travelling' instead of 'by the travelling'. Use 'destination' for clarity.

× I have lot of photos in my gallery and videos.

✓ I have a lot of photos and videos in my gallery.

'Lot' requires the determiner 'a' when meaning 'a lot of'. Also natural word order places 'in my gallery' after the items.

× I always take photos and videos when I go to the new places, when I it seem good to my eyes, I just capture the moment at that time.

✓ I always take photos and videos when I go to new places; when something looks good to me, I just capture the moment.

The clause 'when I it seem good to my eyes' is ungrammatical. Use 'when something looks good to me' (subject 'something', verb 'looks'). 'New places' is preferred without 'the'. Replace comma splice with semicolon or split sentences.

× So when I came back from that place, I checked and it's some memories in my phone.

✓ So when I came back from that place, I checked and there were some memories on my phone.

Tense and existential 'there' usage: after 'came back' (past) use past 'there were'. Use preposition 'on my phone' rather than 'in my phone' for photos/videos.

× Actually, I am a mountain guy.

✓ Actually, I am a mountain person.

'A mountain guy' is informal and acceptable in speech, but 'a mountain person' is more neutral. This is an article/style suggestion; article 'a' is correct here.

× Where I live it's all about the mountains cover the city and I like sea sometimes, but most of the time I love to go to the mountains.

✓ Where I live, the mountains cover the city, and I like the sea sometimes, but most of the time I love going to the mountains.

Missing commas and awkward clause order. Use 'the mountains cover the city' and 'the sea' with definite article. Use 'going to the mountains' (gerund) for habitual preference.

× Because in the mountains do you have a different type of the things like new trees, new places, new people You can hike on top of the mountain and see in the cloud?

✓ In the mountains you experience different things, like new trees, new places, and new people. You can hike to the top of a mountain and see the clouds.

Original is a question with incorrect word order and missing punctuation. Rephrase as statements: 'you experience different things' and fix collocations: 'hike to the top of a mountain' and 'see the clouds' (plural).