Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Focus on giving a clear topic sentence and 1–2 specific supporting details. Avoid hesitations and unclear words. Use linking words (for example, "because" or "so") to make your idea logical. Keep to 2–4 sentences and use correct simple expressions (e.g., "I prefer looking out the window when I travel by car because I can control the stops and views, whereas on a bus I usually talk with others or rest").

예시: I usually look out of the window when I travel by car because I can choose where to stop and enjoy the views. In contrast, on a bus I often talk with other passengers or rest, so I look out less.

제안: Give a direct yes/no topic sentence and one clear reason with a specific example. Avoid unclear vocabulary and long hesitations. Use a linking word like "because" and refer to a concrete moment (e.g., sunrise). Keep sentences simple and fluent.

예시: Yes, I often take photos of scenery from the car because I love capturing sunrises and sunsets. For instance, last month I photographed a bright orange sunset while driving along the coast.

제안: Start with a clear preference sentence ("I prefer the sea/the mountains") and give 1–2 specific reasons using linking words like "because" or "so." Mention a concrete example (family trips, activities). Keep vocabulary simple and accurate (e.g., "sea," "mountains," "easier to travel").

예시: I prefer the sea because it is easier to reach and there are many activities for families, such as swimming and boating. For example, my family often goes to a nearby beach for weekend trips because it is relaxing and convenient.

× Absolutely it's for me.

✓ Absolutely, it is for me.

The original omits a comma and contracts incorrectly in this context. Adding a comma and expanding contraction clarifies meaning and maintains formal tone. Use 'it is' or 'it's' with proper punctuation.

× I uh, usually, uh, take out the sundries, travel by car.

✓ I usually travel by car.

The phrase 'take out the sundries' is unclear and ungrammatical here. The correct form uses the verb 'travel' with no extra nouns. Removing filler words and unnecessary objects creates a clear present simple statement about habitual action.

× this is your, uh, personal own car is going to easy to, uh, watch, uh, the window that we want to watch to, uh, something.

✓ If it is your personal car, it is easy to look out the window at what you want to see.

Problems include redundant adjectives ('personal own'), incorrect verb forms ('is going to easy'), and incorrect preposition use ('watch to'). Rephrase: use conditional 'if it is', correct adjective use, and the verb 'look out' with preposition 'at'.

× Uh yeah. Uh, it is uh, easy to the bus because for the bus, uh, we not uh, to do alone.

✓ Yes. It is easy on the bus because on the bus we are not alone.

Use preposition 'on' for bus, not 'to' or 'for'. Also correct negation and verb form: 'we are not alone' instead of 'we not to do alone'.

× Yeah, I usually take out the Fosters assemblies in outside the windows because when I try to when the car the thriving's like take the photos the same place or they like you the sunrise or sunsets in the morning or in the afternoons, Yeah.

✓ Yeah, I usually take photos out of the car window because when the car passes a beautiful place I like to photograph sunrises or sunsets in the morning or afternoon.

Original has many issues: 'take out the Fosters assemblies' is unintelligible, wrong prepositions ('in outside the windows'), and awkward clauses. Use 'take photos out of the car window' and simplify clause structure: 'when the car passes a beautiful place' and 'sunrises or sunsets in the morning or afternoon.'

× Yes, for me, I prefer the bigs because, uh, the big is easy, uh, to travel then the mountain and at the end I usually go through with my family or other people.

✓ Yes, I prefer the city because a city is easier to travel around than a mountain area, and I usually go with my family or other people.

Problems: 'the bigs' is incorrect noun/pronoun; unclear meaning. Use 'city' if intended, or 'coast/beach' if meant. 'Easier to travel than' requires comparative adjective 'easier' and 'than' for comparison. 'Go through with' should be 'go with'.

× Uh, there's living uh in, in my, in mind. So I think it uh, is really good small.

✓ It is something I always keep in mind, so I think it is really nice and small.

Original is fragmented and uses wrong verb 'there's living in my mind'. Rephrase to 'I always keep it in mind' and use appropriate adjectives 'nice and small' depending on intended meaning.

× The uh goes through the big.

✓ I enjoy going through the city.

This sentence lacks a clear subject and verb and uses 'the big' incorrectly. Provide a clear subject 'I' and proper object 'the city' or intended place. Use 'going through' to indicate travel through an area.