Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition, correct grammar (e.g. "see good views" → "see the scenery"), and keep to 2–3 supporting sentences. Use linking words if adding reasons.

예시: Yes, I do. I enjoy watching the scenery while travelling because it helps me relax and notice new places. For example, I like spotting interesting buildings or green fields along the road.

제안: Give a direct topic sentence, avoid repetition ("I I"), and provide specific reasons and an example. Use linking words such as 'so' or 'for example' correctly to connect ideas. Keep sentences concise.

예시: Yes, I usually take photos of the scenery outside the car window because I like to remember the places I visit. For example, I often photograph mountain ridges or colourful villages so I can look back at them later.

제안: Start with a clear preference sentence, then give 1–2 specific reasons. Avoid unclear phrasing like "enhances my lungs" — say "improves my breathing" or "is good exercise." Use a linking word such as 'because' and provide a short illustrative detail.

예시: I prefer the sea because I love swimming with my family and it is great exercise. For instance, swimming in the waves makes me feel energetic and improves my breathing.

× Yes, I love to look out at the window, at the scenery when I am traveling because I love to see you good views around.

✓ Yes, I love to look out of the window at the scenery when I am traveling because I love to see the beautiful views around.

The sentence contains incorrect pronoun and determiner use: 'you good views' is ungrammatical. Replace with 'the beautiful views' to correctly refer to the scenery. Also change 'look out at the window' to 'look out of the window' for correct preposition use when referring to looking through a window. Suggestion: use appropriate determiners ('the', 'a') and adjectives, and correct prepositions ('look out of the window').

× Yes, I usually take photos of the scenery outside the car window because I love to keep good memories and the places that I visited when I I am traveling, like for example the good background around me.

✓ Yes, I usually take photos of the scenery outside the car window because I like to keep good memories of the places that I visit when I am traveling, for example the nice backgrounds around me.

Multiple issues: 'I love to keep good memories and the places that I visited' misuses pronouns/determiners and tense. Use 'keep memories of the places' rather than 'keep... and the places'. Use present tense 'visit' to match 'usually' and ongoing habit. Remove duplicate 'I'. 'Good background' is awkward; use 'nice backgrounds' or 'beautiful backgrounds'. Suggestion: keep consistent tense for habitual actions and use correct prepositions ('memories of') and singular/plural/noun choices.

× I prefer the sea because I enjoy swimming with the waves together with my family and it enhances my lungs and my breathing.

✓ I prefer the sea because I enjoy swimming in the waves with my family, and it improves my breathing and lung health.

The phrase 'swimming with the waves' is acceptable but 'swimming in the waves' is more natural. 'It enhances my lungs and my breathing' is awkward; 'improves my breathing and lung health' is clearer. This corrects word choice and natural collocation. Maintain present tense for general preferences and habitual activities.