Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce hesitation and repetition, make a clear topic sentence, and provide one concise reason with a linking word. Use correct prepositions and phrasing (e.g., “look out of the window” or “look through the window”). Keep answer to maximum 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I always look out of the window when I travel by car because I love seeing natural landscapes. For example, I enjoy watching forests and rivers pass by, which helps me relax and feel connected to nature.

제안: Avoid repetition and improve sentence structure. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give a brief detail (what you use and why). Use correct articles and verb forms (e.g., “a DSLR camera,” “I upload these pictures”). Keep to 2–3 sentences and link ideas with words like “so” or “because.”

예시: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery outside the car window because I enjoy capturing natural views. I usually bring a DSLR camera when I travel, and I upload the best pictures to my Instagram account.

제안: Make a direct comparison with a clear topic sentence and give two specific reasons using linking words (e.g., “because” and “also”). Correct collocations (“the beach,” “mountains”) and avoid filler words. Limit to 2–4 well-structured sentences.

예시: I prefer the sea to the mountains because the beach helps me relax and lift my spirits. I also enjoy going to the beach with my family, where we swim and walk along the shore together.

× And of course, when I, uh, when I go to traveling by car, by car, uh, I always look on the window at the scenery because I love nature of the beauty.

✓ And of course, when I travel by car, I always look out the window at the scenery because I love the beauty of nature.

Use base verb 'travel' after 'when I' instead of 'go to traveling' (incorrect verb + -ing form). Use the correct preposition 'out' for looking out the window and correct noun phrase order 'the beauty of nature'. Also remove filler repetitions to make the sentence natural.

× I always look on the window at the scenery because I love nature of the beauty.

✓ I always look out the window at the scenery because I love the beauty of nature.

The correct preposition with 'look' and 'window' is 'look out the window' or 'look out of the window', not 'look on the window'. Also the noun phrase should be 'the beauty of nature' rather than 'nature of the beauty'.

× I have a one DSLR camera.

✓ I have a DSLR camera.

When referring to a camera in general, use 'a DSLR camera'; 'one' is unnecessary and unidiomatic before a countable noun with an indefinite article.

× So when I go traveling, I always bring with me the camera and I always take photo of the natural beauty and I I upload my Instagram account this picture.

✓ So when I travel, I always bring the camera with me, and I always take photos of natural beauty and upload these pictures to my Instagram account.

Use 'travel' not 'go traveling' for concise present habit. 'Bring the camera with me' is correct word order. 'Take photos' (plural) is more natural than 'take photo'; use 'upload to my Instagram account' and 'these pictures' as object. Also remove repeated filler 'I'.

× Yes, definitely I I like to take photos of the natural beauty.

✓ Yes, definitely I like to take photos of natural beauty.

Remove duplicated 'I' and use simple present 'like' to express habitual preference. Omit 'the' before 'natural beauty' for general reference.

× I always take photo of the natural beauty and I I upload my Instagram account this picture.

✓ I always take photos of natural beauty and upload these pictures to my Instagram account.

'Photo' should be plural 'photos' when speaking habitually. The object placement and preposition require 'upload to my Instagram account' and refer back with 'these pictures'.

× I enjoy, uh, the sea better than the mountain because, uh, see in the beach I enjoy very much because when I go to the beach, I feel very relaxed and cheerful mind.

✓ I enjoy the sea more than the mountains because at the beach I enjoy myself very much; when I go to the beach, I feel very relaxed and cheerful.

Use plural 'mountains' to contrast with 'sea'. Use comparative 'more than' not 'better than' for preferences. 'At the beach' is correct preposition. 'Enjoy myself' is natural; 'cheerful mind' is unidiomatic — use 'cheerful' or 'in a cheerful mood'.

× I always go to beach with my family and uh.

✓ I always go to the beach with my family.

Use the definite article 'the' with 'beach' when referring to the beach in general or a specific visit: 'go to the beach'. Removed trailing filler 'uh'.