Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and fluent: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (umm, uh), and provide one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Keep it under five sentences.

예시: Yes, I always look out the window when travelling by bus or car. It helps me relax and clear my mind, especially when I see trees or interesting street scenes. For example, I enjoy watching local markets pass by because they give me a quick glimpse of daily life.

제안: Avoid repeating the same idea and remove fillers. Give a clear reason and one specific example of what you photograph and why. Use linking words (for example, because) to make your answer coherent.

예시: Yes, I often take photos while travelling because I like to remember interesting scenes. For example, I photograph colourful street stalls or mountain views so I can look back at them later and share them with friends.

제안: Give a direct answer and expand with two specific reasons connected by linking words. Avoid unfinished sentences and vague phrases; finish your thought with a concise conclusion.

예시: I prefer the mountains because I enjoy hiking and outdoor exercise. Moreover, the quiet atmosphere and fresh air help me relax and reduce stress, so I always feel refreshed after a mountain trip.

× Yes, definitely I like watching outside events while traveling bus or car.

✓ Yes, definitely I like watching outside events while traveling by bus or by car.

The sentence omits the preposition 'by' before modes of transport. Use 'travel by bus' or 'travel by car'. Add 'by' to indicate the means of travel and make the phrase natural.

× By watching the outside events I could refresh my mind and it is very much umm an entertainment while uh, watching while traveling.

✓ By watching the outside events I can refresh my mind and it is very much an entertainment while traveling.

The modal tense should match the context: present habitual action uses 'can' rather than 'could'. Also remove the redundant 'watching' after 'while' and repetitive filler words. Use 'while traveling' as a concise -ing clause.

× Yes, I usually take pictures UMM while traveling.

✓ Yes, I usually take pictures while traveling.

Extra filler 'UMM' should be removed for clarity. The preposition 'while' correctly introduces the time clause; no other preposition is needed.

× I take pictures of the outside events while traveling UMM.

✓ I take pictures of the scenery outside while traveling.

'Outside events' is awkward; 'scenery outside' or 'the scenery outside the window' is clearer. Remove filler 'UMM'. Place 'outside' after 'scenery' for natural word order.

× There are many things we could see while traveling UMM.

✓ There are many things we can see while traveling.

Use 'can' for present ability/habit instead of 'could', which suggests conditional or past. Remove 'UMM'. The subject-verb agreement is fine but the modal choice was incorrect for habitual context.

× It is very much important to capture.

✓ It is very important to capture them.

'Very much important' is nonnative; use 'very important'. Also 'capture' is transitive here and needs an object ('them' or 'those moments'). Add object for clarity.

× Yes, I like mountains.

✓ Yes, I like the mountains.

When speaking generally about a specific natural feature as a category, English commonly uses 'the mountains' to refer to mountain areas in general. Adding 'the' makes it more natural.

× By visiting mountains, we could engage in trekking.

✓ By visiting the mountains, we can engage in trekking.

Use 'can' to express a general possibility or ability in the present rather than 'could', which implies conditionality or past. Also add 'the' before 'mountains'.

× We could exercise.

✓ We can exercise.

Same issue: use 'can' for a habitual or general ability in present context rather than 'could'.

× It is better for our minds to refresh.

✓ It is better for refreshing our minds.

The original phrasing 'for our minds to refresh' is awkward. Use the gerund phrase 'for refreshing our minds' to express purpose, or say 'It is better for refreshing our minds' or 'It is better for our minds' health'.

× Since it is part of exercise and.

✓ Since it is part of exercise.

The sentence is incomplete and ends with 'and' without continuation. Remove the trailing 'and' to complete the sentence or add the missing clause (for example, 'and helps our well-being'). Ensure each sentence has a complete thought.