Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Améliorer la fluidité et réduire les hésitations et les répétitions. Commencez par une phrase claire répondant directement à la question, puis ajoutez un détail spécifique et un exemple lié à une expérience personnelle. Évitez les interjections comme “umm” et la formulation vague “it gives me”. Utilisez des mots de liaison simples (for example, because, so) pour rendre le discours cohérent. Limitez la réponse à 2–4 phrases naturelles.

예시: Yes, I do. I enjoy looking out of the window because every place has its own beauty; for example, I once watched a sunset over rolling hills and felt very relaxed. This helps me notice small details I would otherwise miss.

제안: Réduire les répétitions et les hésitations, et fournir un exemple concret de type de photo ou moment. Répondez d’abord par une phrase directe, puis expliquez pourquoi et donnez un court exemple (où/quoi). Utilisez un vocabulaire précis (memories → mementos, relaxing → calming) et des liaisons comme “because” ou “for instance”.

예시: Yes, I often photograph scenery from the car because it helps me keep mementos of trips. For instance, last month I captured a misty valley at dawn which reminded me of the peaceful start to our holiday.

제안: Clarifier la préférence et éviter les hésitations et l'erreur gênante (“C” n'est pas clair). Commencez par répondre directement (I prefer the mountains/the sea), puis donnez une raison claire et un exemple concret comparatif. Évitez phrases ambiguës comme “full view of all the cities”; précisez ce que vous voyez et pourquoi cela vous plaît. Limitez-vous à 2–3 phrases bien structurées.

예시: I prefer the mountains now. As a child I liked the sea because I enjoyed playing in the sand, but now I love mountain views since they offer wide panoramas and a sense of peace when I look over towns and valleys.

× Yes, I absolutely love to look out the window at the scenery when traveling by bus or car because, umm, each location has their own beauty and if you like, uh, spend attention on it, it feels so much better and it gives me.

✓ Yes, I absolutely love to look out the window at the scenery when traveling by bus or car because each location has its own beauty and if you pay attention to it, it feels so much better and it soothes me.

The sentence uses the plural pronoun 'their' to refer to the singular noun 'each location'; this is a pronoun reference error. Use 'its' for singular 'location'. 'Spend attention on' is incorrect collocation; use 'pay attention to'. 'It gives me' is incomplete and unclear; replace with a complete expression such as 'it soothes me' or 'it makes me feel better'. Suggestions: ensure pronouns agree in number with their antecedents, learn common verb+preposition collocations (pay attention to), and complete any clauses so they convey a full idea.

× Yes, I love taking photos, especially of the sceneries.

✓ Yes, I love taking photos, especially of the scenery.

'Scenery' is an uncountable noun and should not be pluralized as 'sceneries'. This is a singular/plural and countability error. Suggestion: memorize which nouns are uncountable (like 'scenery', 'furniture', 'information') and use them without -s or with quantifiers (some, pieces of) when needed.

× So umm when traveling by car, I usually look out of the window and take photos to keep the memories and it feels uh so relaxing umm that I can spend time looking outside and relax.

✓ So when traveling by car, I usually look out of the window and take photos to keep the memories, and it's so relaxing that I can spend time looking outside and relaxing.

'Look out of the window' is acceptable but 'out of' can be simplified to 'out of the window' is okay; main issues are punctuation and parallel structure. 'Keep the memories' is slightly awkward; 'keep memories' or 'preserve memories' is more natural. 'It feels so relaxing that I can spend time looking outside and relax' has inconsistent verb forms; use parallel gerunds 'looking' and 'relaxing' or change to 'and relax'. Suggestions: improve sentence flow with commas, use parallel verb forms, and choose natural collocations like 'preserve memories' or 'keep memories'.

× To be honest, when I was a kid, I was more into C because I love to play with the sand and, uh, the waves.

✓ To be honest, when I was a kid, I was more into the sea because I loved to play with the sand and the waves.

The sentence mixes past reference 'when I was a kid' with present tense 'I love'. Use past tense 'I loved' to maintain consistent time frame. Also 'C' appears to be a placeholder; replace with 'the sea' for clarity. Suggestion: keep verb tenses consistent within time frames; use past tense for past habits or preferences.

× But as I've grown older, I love, uh, to be in the mountains because I can watch a full view of all the cities.

✓ But as I've grown older, I prefer being in the mountains because I can get a full view of the cities.

Using 'I love to be in the mountains' is grammatical but 'prefer being in' is more natural to contrast past and present. 'Watch a full view of all the cities' is awkward: 'watch' is wrong verb and 'full view of all the cities' is unnatural; use 'get a full view of the cities' or 'see the whole city' depending on context. Suggestions: choose verbs that collocate with 'view' (get, have, enjoy) and use 'prefer' to show changed preference; keep present simple for current habits.