Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and fluent: start with a clear topic sentence, reduce hesitations, correct small grammatical errors (e.g., 'by car' not 'through car', 'a 5-6 kilometre drive'), and use linking words to organize details. Limit to 3–4 sentences and give specific examples of what you saw.

예시: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by car. For example, last week I took a 5–6 kilometre drive to a nearby city and sat in the front seat, so I could see and photograph the streets. I especially enjoyed the colourful buildings and the cafes along the main road.

제안: Improve grammar and avoid repetition: give a direct topic sentence, then one clear reason and a brief example. Replace fillers ('uh', 'umm') with pauses and use linking words like 'because' or 'so'. Correct tense and word choice (e.g., 'pictures' or 'photos', 'picturesque').

예시: Yes, I often take photos from buses or cars because I enjoy capturing memorable views. For instance, if I see a picturesque landscape or an interesting building, I will take a quick photo to remember it.

제안: Provide a clear direct answer, then two concise supporting details with specific examples. Fix phrasing ('calmness to me' → 'a sense of calm') and correct odd words (e.g., 'though boats' unclear). Use linking words like 'because' and 'for example'.

예시: I prefer the mountains because I enjoy solitude and they help me relax. For example, hiking quiet trails and seeing wildflowers and pine trees gives me a real sense of calm, unlike noisy beaches with crowds.

× Yes, when I travel through car uh, recently I had visited a city which is around 5 to 6 kilometers drive from my home.

✓ Yes, when I was traveling by car, recently I visited a city which is about a 5 to 6 kilometer drive from my home.

The student mixed past simple and past perfect incorrectly and used awkward preposition and noun forms. 'Had visited' (past perfect) is unnecessary because the sequence of events is clear with past simple 'visited'. Use 'was traveling' to describe the ongoing past action. Use 'by car' (correct preposition), 'about' for approximate distance, and 'a 5 to 6 kilometer drive' for natural expression. Suggestion: use consistent past tense (past simple or past continuous) and correct prepositions and noun phrases.

× So while travelling there I sat on the front seat.

✓ So while traveling there I sat in the front seat.

The correct preposition with 'seat' when referring to a position inside a vehicle is 'in' not 'on'. Also use American spelling 'traveling' or keep consistent British spelling. Suggestion: say 'sat in the front seat' to be natural.

× I took pictures of the beautiful Rd. the scenery, the going uh, beautiful buildings, houses and even the cafe.

✓ I took pictures of the beautiful road, the scenery, the lovely buildings and houses, and even a cafe.

Abbreviating 'Rd.' is unusual in this context; use 'road'. 'Going' is not a correct adjective here and 'beautiful' repeated is redundant; choose varied adjectives like 'lovely'. Use the article 'a' before 'cafe'. Suggestion: list items clearly and avoid repeating the same adjective.

× Yes, I, as I had mentioned, I usually took, I often took the photographs of the scenery where, wherever, uh, umm, transport I use for my traveling, either bus or car.

✓ Yes, as I mentioned, I usually take photographs of the scenery wherever I travel, whether by bus or by car.

The student used past tense 'took' and past perfect 'had mentioned' where present simple is appropriate for habitual actions. Use 'I usually take' for habits and 'wherever I travel' for the correct clause order. Use 'by bus'/'by car' for transport modes. Suggestion: use present simple for regular habits and simplify filler words.

× And I because the if, if the if the view is photosque, I usually I love to take.

✓ And because the view is picturesque, I usually love to take photos.

The sentence has pronoun and word order errors and many hesitations. 'Photosque' is misspelled; correct is 'picturesque'. Remove redundant pronouns and repeated words. Use 'take photos' as the verb phrase. Suggestion: practice forming concise clauses and check spelling of descriptive words.

× I always enjoy my solitude, so whenever I feel stressed, I plan a trip to the mountains as it provides the relaxation, the calmness to me.

✓ I always enjoy being alone, so whenever I feel stressed, I plan a trip to the mountains because they help me relax and feel calm.

The original mixes noun phrases awkwardly ('the relaxation, the calmness to me'). Use 'being alone' or 'solitude' naturally, and match plural 'mountains' with plural pronoun 'they'. Use 'help me relax and feel calm' for natural English. Suggestion: simplify expressions and ensure pronoun agreement with nouns.

× Besides this, I admire its beautiful scenery though boats, flowers and its ornamental trees.

✓ Besides that, I admire the beautiful scenery, the boats, the flowers, and the ornamental trees.

'Besides this' is slightly awkward; 'Besides that' or 'In addition' is better. 'Its' is unclear when referring to 'mountains'; use 'the' to list items. 'Though' is incorrect here; use commas to list. Suggestion: use clear connectors and list items with parallel structure.