Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer more fluent, remove repetition, and follow the basic structure: give a clear topic sentence then one specific supporting detail. Use linking words if you add details. Also correct small grammar issues (e.g., "on my traveling" → "when I travel"). Keep it to 1–3 sentences.

예시: Yes, I do. I especially enjoy looking out the window when I travel by bus or train because it helps me relax and see local life. For example, I often watch people working in fields or small shops, which gives me a sense of the place.

제안: Reduce redundancy and correct grammar. Start with a direct topic sentence, add one clear reason with a linking word, and give a short specific example. Avoid repeated phrases and keep sentences concise.

예시: Yes, I often take photos from the window when I travel by train because the landscapes are beautiful and change quickly. For instance, I recently photographed a river and some terraced fields to show my family back home.

제안: Provide a direct preference statement and one clear reason. Avoid filler words (uh, um) and unclear phrases like "All my love." If you like both, say so briefly and then explain which you prefer and why, using a linking word.

예시: I like both, but I prefer the mountains because I enjoy rock climbing and the fresh air. For example, I often spend weekends hiking and climbing nearby peaks, which helps me stay fit and relaxed.

× 'Yes I do. I really like enjoying the view when I when I take a bus or a train on my traveling.'

✓ 'Yes, I do. I really enjoy the view when I take a bus or a train while traveling.'

'like enjoying' is awkward here; after 'like' we usually use base verb or gerund but 'really enjoy' is more natural. Removed duplicate 'when I' and changed 'on my traveling' to 'while traveling' for correct preposition and form. Suggestion: use "enjoy" + object or "like" + verb-ing; use "while traveling" for general activity.'

× 'Yes I do. I usually take photos when I by train or by bus because the beautiful views are the really like to take a picture and share to my family.'

✓ 'Yes, I do. I usually take photos when I travel by train or by bus because the views are beautiful and I like to take pictures and share them with my family.'

'when I by train' is missing a verb; change to 'when I travel by train'. 'the beautiful views are the really like' is ungrammatical and word order is wrong; reorder to 'the views are beautiful and I like...'. 'take a picture' -> 'take pictures' for general habit. 'share to my family' should be 'share them with my family.' Suggestion: include the verb 'travel', place adjectives before nouns, use plural for habitual actions, and use 'share with' for people.'

× 'Actually, both. All my love. Umm, I really like mountains because I like, uh, rock climbing.'

✓ 'Actually, both. I love them both. Um, I really like mountains because I enjoy rock climbing.'

'All my love' is not a natural English sentence; intended meaning is 'I love them both.' 'Umm' and 'uh' are filler words; use 'um' sparingly. Replaced repeated 'I like' with 'I enjoy' to avoid repetition. Suggestion: use clear short sentences: 'I love them both.' and 'I enjoy rock climbing.' to sound natural.'