Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Also vary vocabulary to avoid repeating 'scenery' and 'travelling'.

예시: Yes, I usually look out of the window to enjoy the view. For example, I pay attention to changing landscapes and local architecture, and I often record short videos so I can revisit the trip later.

제안: Keep your answer direct and use linking words to connect reasons. Avoid awkward tense usage and redundancy such as 'rewatch and enjoy and replay'. Use one clear reason and an example.

예시: Yes, I often take photos and videos from the car window because they help me remember the places I've visited. For instance, I capture interesting buildings or sunsets and look back at them when I want to relax.

제안: Give a single main preference with a brief contrast and a clear reason. Use linking words such as 'however' or 'whereas' to compare and be specific about what you like about each option.

예시: I generally prefer the sea because its calmness helps me relax after a busy day; the sound of waves is very soothing. However, I enjoy the mountains for hiking and exercise when I want a more active outdoor experience.

× When travelling I like to look out the window at the scenery to enjoy the scenery.

✓ When travelling, I like to look out the window to enjoy the scenery.

Redundant use of 'scenery' and comma needed after introductory '-ing' clause. The '-ing' clause 'When travelling' is correct; remove repetition and add a comma for clarity. Suggestion: avoid repeating nouns and punctuate introductory clauses.'

× Also I do record videos for memories while I'm travelling.

✓ Also, I record videos to remember the trip while I'm travelling.

The original uses 'do record' which is unnecessary emphasis in affirmative statements; use simple present 'record'. 'For memories' is awkward; use 'to remember the trip' or 'as memories'. Add comma after 'Also'. Keep present continuous 'I'm travelling' for ongoing action.'

× I take videos and photos of the scenery outside the car window when I'm traveling.

✓ I take videos and photos of the scenery outside the car window when I'm travelling.

The sentence is acceptable but contains inconsistent spelling: 'traveling' vs 'travelling'. Maintain consistent variety (British English uses 'travelling'). No tense change needed since present habit is expressed with 'take' and 'I'm travelling' for simultaneous action.'

× This helped me to record my memories and also to rewatch and enjoy and replay the journey when I'm relaxing.

✓ This helps me record my memories and also rewatch, enjoy, and replay the journey when I'm relaxing.

Original mixes past 'helped' with present 'I'm relaxing'; tense should be consistent. Use simple present 'helps' to match habitual action. Also remove unnecessary 'to' before verbs when listing, and use commas to separate items. Suggestion: keep verb forms parallel.'

× I prefer the sea when I want to relax and rejuvenate after a long walk day.

✓ I prefer the sea when I want to relax and rejuvenate after a long day of walking.

Phrase 'long walk day' is ungrammatical. Use 'a long day of walking' or 'a long walk' depending on meaning. Keep present tense 'prefer' and 'want' for general preference; reorder words for natural expression.'

× For the mountains, I like hiking and taking walks.

✓ For the mountains, I like hiking and going for walks.

Original is understandable but 'taking walks' is less natural than 'going for walks'. Maintain parallel gerund forms 'hiking' and 'going for walks' for smoother structure.'

× For exercise purposes.

✓ I go to the mountains for exercise purposes.

Original is a sentence fragment lacking a verb. It should be attached to the previous sentence or completed with a subject and verb. Suggestion: combine with previous sentence or write a complete sentence as provided.'