Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Cevabınızı daha doğal ve akıcı hale getirmek için gereksiz tekrarları ve dolgu ifadelerini azaltın; ayrıca net bir konu cümlesi kurup ardından detay verirken bağlaç kullanın. Örneğin "especially during winter" ifadesinden sonra hangi yönleri çekici bulduğunuzu (renkler, sessizlik, hava) kısa bir örnekle açıklayın. Ayrıca dil bilgisi düzeltmeleri yapın: "when I travel by bus or car", "I am fascinated by the white mountains and frozen lakes" gibi.

예시: Yes, I often look out of the window when I travel by bus or car, especially in winter. I find the snowy mountains and frozen lakes very beautiful because the pale colours and quiet atmosphere feel peaceful.

제안: Cümlelerinizi birleştirerek daha doğal akış sağlayın ve bazı dilbilgisi hatalarını düzeltin (ör. "the best way to remember good memories", "a lot of pictures of a beautiful lake"). Destekleyici detay verirken bağlaçlar kullanın (for example, because, so) ve daha spesifik bilgi ekleyin: hangi anları kaydettiğiniz veya neden önemli olduğu gibi.

예시: Yes, I often take photos and sometimes record short videos because it's the best way to keep memories. For example, when I visited Bolo Mountain I took many pictures of the beautiful lake to remember the light on the water at sunset.

제안: Daha düzgün bir konu cümlesi kurun ve duygularınızı destekleyen özel nedenler ekleyin. Dilbilgisi hatalarını düzeltin: "I prefer going to the mountains" veya "I prefer the mountains"; "I feel alone" yerine "I enjoy solitude" veya "I feel peaceful" gibi ifadeler kullanın. Ayrıca bir bağlaçla neden-sonuç ilişkisi kurun (because, so) ve mümkünse bir kısa örnek verin.

예시: I definitely prefer the mountains because I enjoy the solitude and fresh air, which help me relax. For example, hiking on quiet trails allows me to forget my daily worries and feel refreshed.

× Yes, I look out the window, uh, when I travel bus or car, especially during winter.

✓ Yes, I look out the window when I travel by bus or by car, especially during winter.

'Travel' with a mode of transport requires the preposition by (e.g. by bus, by car). Also remove filler 'uh' in written form and extra comma before subordinate clause. Suggestion: Use 'travel by bus/car' and avoid unnecessary fillers.

× I am fascinated.

✓ I am fascinated.

This sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. 'Fascinated' is the appropriate adjective to describe the speaker's feeling. Suggestion: Keep as is or expand: 'I am fascinated by the view.'

× I am face fascinated landscape of White Mountain and frozen lake.

✓ I am fascinated by the landscape of the White Mountain and the frozen lake.

Original has incorrect word order and an unnecessary word 'face'. Use 'fascinated by' + noun phrase to show what causes the fascination. Include definite articles 'the' for specific places. Suggestion: Use 'fascinated by the landscape' and include articles for named features.

× Yes, I take photos. Sometimes I take a video. Uh, it's the best way of to remember good memory.

✓ Yes, I take photos. Sometimes I take a video. It's the best way to remember good memories.

'The best way to remember' requires the infinitive 'to remember', not 'of to remember'. 'Memory' should be plural 'memories' when referring to multiple recalled events. Remove filler 'uh'. Suggestion: Use 'the best way to remember memories' or better 'the best way to remember special moments.'

× For example, when I went to Bolo Mountain, I took a lot of picture of beautiful lake.

✓ For example, when I went to Bolo Mountain, I took a lot of pictures of the beautiful lake.

Use plural 'pictures' with 'a lot of'. Also include the definite article 'the' before 'beautiful lake' when referring to a specific lake. Suggestion: 'a lot of pictures' and 'the beautiful lake'.

× Definitely, I prefer go to mountain because when I go to this place I feel alone that make me feel peaceful and relaxed.

✓ Definitely, I prefer going to the mountains because when I go to this place I feel alone and it makes me feel peaceful and relaxed.

'Prefer' should be followed by the gerund 'going' or 'to go'; here 'going' is natural. Use plural 'the mountains' for general preference. The clause 'that make me' has subject-verb agreement error: it should be 'it makes me' or 'which makes me'. Also add 'and' to link ideas. Suggestion: Use 'prefer going to the mountains' and 'it makes me feel'.