Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce hesitation and repetition, and organize your answer with a clear topic sentence followed by one or two concise supporting details. Avoid filler words like “umm” and redundant phrases (“out of the window or bus, off a bus or a car”). Use linking words (for example, “because” and “so”) to connect ideas smoothly. Also correct minor phrasing errors (“the scenery is to die for her” is unclear).

예시: Yes, I enjoy looking out of the window when I travel. I find the views calming because they show different landscapes and colours, and they often make the journey more interesting. For example, watching fields and rivers pass by helps me relax and appreciate the trip.

제안: Be more concise and eliminate hesitation. Start with a direct topic sentence and add one specific detail or an example to enrich the answer. Use linking words to make the answer cohesive (e.g., “because” or “for example”).

예시: Yes, I often take photos of scenery from the car because I like to capture special moments. For example, I once photographed a sunset over rolling hills, and I still look at that picture whenever I want to remember the trip.

제안: Give a clear preference in one sentence, then support it with 1–2 specific reasons using linking words (e.g., “because”, “however”). Correct grammar (subject-verb agreement, articles) and avoid redundancies like repeating “favorite place”. Keep sentences short and natural.

예시: I prefer the sea because I love relaxing on the beach and swimming in the ocean. However, I also enjoy the mountains when it snows, since snowy landscapes are beautiful and good for winter sports like skiing.

× I really enjoy looking out the scenery, umm, out of the window or bus, off a bus or a car or even off a plane because it gives me a really calming sensation and also because it's very beautiful.

✓ I really enjoy looking at the scenery out of the window of a bus, a car, or even a plane because it gives me a really calming sensation and it is very beautiful.

Use 'looking at' not 'looking out' when referring to observing scenery; 'looking out' can be used but is often followed by 'of' or 'from' and sounds awkward here. Also use 'the scenery' with 'at' and correct prepositional phrases: 'out of the window' -> 'out of the window of a bus/car' or simply 'out of a bus window.' Combine items in a parallel list and replace the contraction 'it's' with 'it is' if formality required. Suggestion: use 'looking at the scenery from the window' to sound natural.

× Most of the time the scenery is to die for her in a way, and it's really amazing.

✓ Most of the time the scenery is to die for in a way, and it is really amazing.

Remove the extraneous pronoun 'her' which is incorrect here; 'to die for' is an idiom that needs no following pronoun. Also replace contraction 'it's' with 'it is' for clarity. Suggestion: say 'the scenery is to die for' or 'the scenery is breathtaking.'

× Yes, actually I do. I love taking pictures when I'm traveling. So when I'm, uh, in the car, I do enjoy taking pictures of the scenery outside the car window.

✓ Yes, actually I do. I love taking pictures when I'm traveling. So when I'm in the car, I enjoy taking pictures of the scenery outside the car window.

Remove filler 'uh' and unnecessary auxiliary 'do' in the second sentence; while not strictly ungrammatical, the repeated 'do' is redundant. The gerund 'taking' is correct; the improvement is stylistic to make the sentence concise. Suggestion: say 'I enjoy taking pictures' instead of 'I do enjoy' unless for emphasis.

× I actually prefer the sea I'm going to the beach is my favorite place, favorite place when I'm traveling.

✓ I actually prefer the sea; going to the beach is my favorite thing when I'm traveling.

The original is a run-on without correct punctuation or conjunctions. Separate into two clauses with a semicolon or period and correct repetition 'favorite place, favorite place.' Also 'going to the beach' is a noun phrase functioning as subject, so 'is my favorite thing' or 'is my favorite place to visit' is clearer. Suggestion: use punctuation to separate ideas and avoid repetition.

× But I also do like mountains, especially when it's snowing because the I love snow and the scenery is really breathtaking to be honest.

✓ But I also like the mountains, especially when it is snowing, because I love snow and the scenery is really breathtaking.

Remove extra article 'the' before 'I love snow' and correct word order: 'because the I love snow' is ungrammatical. Use 'like the mountains' (with article) or 'like mountains' consistently. Replace contraction 'it's' with 'it is' for clarity and remove 'to be honest' at the end or place it appropriately. Suggestion: 'I also like the mountains, especially when it is snowing, because I love snow.'

× So that is why I likes to travel to the mountains as well as to the beach.

✓ So that is why I like to travel to the mountains as well as to the beach.

Subject 'I' requires the base verb form 'like', not the third person singular 'likes'. This is a subject-verb agreement error. Suggestion: use 'I like' for all persons except third-person singular where '-s' is added.