Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the response clearer and more coherent. Start with a direct topic sentence that answers the question, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid contradictions and incorrect phrasing (e.g., “so I can do this” should be “so I can’t”). Use linking words like “however” and “therefore” to connect ideas, and keep the answer to 2–4 sentences.

예시: I usually like to look out the window when I travel by bus or car because I enjoy watching the changing scenery. However, I often get motion sickness, so I can’t always look outside; therefore I sometimes close my eyes and listen to music to feel better.

제안: This is a good, relevant answer but can be more concise and natural. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give a specific example. Fix awkward phrasing such as “unfamiliar with me” and reduce repetition (e.g., “to capture… so that I can review”). Use linking words like “for example” appropriately.

예시: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery outside the window because the view is constantly changing. For example, when I travel through the countryside I photograph unusual landscapes to keep as memories and review later on my camera.

제안: Clarify your choice and avoid confusing or contradictory phrases. Start with a direct answer (mountains or the sea), then give 1–2 specific reasons using linking words (e.g., “because,” “also”). Remove unclear expressions like “mountains in the sea” and “I prefer to stay.” Keep it to 2–3 sentences for coherence.

예시: I prefer the sea because I love the wide, open views and the feeling of walking barefoot on the beach. It is very refreshing and relaxing, and I enjoy the calm atmosphere by the coast.

× Well, I would like to look out the window when I travel by bus or car because I enjoy the changing scenery, but I often get motion sickness so I can do this.

✓ Well, I would like to look out the window when I travel by bus or car because I enjoy the changing scenery, but I often get motion sickness so I cannot do this.

The error is using 'can' where 'cannot' (or can't) is required to express inability. This is a modal verb usage issue: 'can' indicates ability while the context describes inability to look out due to motion sickness. Replace 'can' with 'cannot' for correct meaning and form.

× The scenery outside the car window is always changing and often unfamiliar with me, so I like to take photos to capture interesting views so that I can review them later on my camera.

✓ The scenery outside the car window is always changing and often unfamiliar to me, so I like to take photos to capture interesting views so that I can review them later on my camera.

Use of preposition is incorrect: 'unfamiliar with me' is not idiomatic. The correct preposition is 'to' in 'unfamiliar to me' to indicate something is not known or recognizable to the speaker.

× For example, when I travel through the countryside, I often photograph unusual landscapes.

✓ For example, when I travel through the countryside, I often take photographs of unusual landscapes.

This is a style/structure issue: 'photograph' used as a verb is correct, but 'take photographs of' is more natural in spoken English here. The original is grammatical, but improving verb choice and collocation makes the sentence clearer and more natural.

× Those mountains in the sea are impressive, so it's hard to choose, but if I had to pick one, I prefer to stay.

✓ Both the mountains and the sea are impressive, so it's hard to choose, but if I had to pick one, I would stay.

Original sentence contains semantic and structural problems: 'Those mountains in the sea' is unclear and 'prefer to stay' lacks an object and correct conditional phrasing. Rewriting clarifies that both options are impressive and uses 'I would stay' to express preference in a hypothetical choice.

× I like how wide and open it feels and I enjoy walking barefoot on the beach because it is so refreshing and relaxing.

✓ I like how wide and open it feels, and I enjoy walking barefoot on the beach because it feels so refreshing and relaxing.

Pronoun reference is slightly unclear: 'it is so refreshing' could refer ambiguously. Adding 'feels' after 'it' clarifies that the beach experience is being described. This fixes pronoun clarity and improves naturalness.