Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and remove hesitations. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct small word-choice errors ("weather" → "whether" or better omit). Aim for 2–3 sentences, natural phrasing and varied vocabulary (e.g., enjoy, relax, fascinating).

예시: Yes. I enjoy looking out of the window when I travel by bus or car because the changing landscape is fascinating. For example, I like watching farmland and old villages pass by since they help me relax during a long journey.

제안: Avoid repetition and use concise structure: state your habit, then give a specific reason with linking words. Replace vague phrases with clearer ones (e.g., "keep it as a memory" → "keep it as a memory" or "save it for later"). Use varied verbs (take, share, save).

예시: Yes, I usually take photos of the scenery outside the window because I like to save the view as a memory and share interesting shots with my family. For instance, I often send photos of colourful sunsets to my sister so she can see where I’ve been.

제안: Fix repetitions and grammar, give a clear direct answer first, then one or two specific reasons with linking words. Mention a brief example or comparison to make it more concrete (e.g., "I get seasick, so I avoid the sea"). Keep it to 2–3 sentences and use descriptive vocabulary (peaceful, refreshing).

예시: I prefer the mountains because I often get seasick, so the sea is uncomfortable for me. In contrast, mountain scenery feels peaceful and reminds me of home, which helps me relax and unwind.

× Uh, I like watching scenery when I'm traveling, weather by bus or car, because like when I look outside, umm, I see beautiful scenes and then I cannot, uh, keep myself.

✓ Uh, I like watching the scenery when I'm traveling, whether by bus or car, because when I look outside I see beautiful scenes and I cannot help myself.

Errors: 'watching scenery' needs the definite article 'the' (Article errors, ID 22) and 'weather' is a misspelling of 'whether' (Sentence structure/word choice, ID 26). The phrase 'cannot keep myself' is incorrect; the correct idiom is 'cannot help myself' (Verb phrase error related to verb forms, ID 10). Also remove filler repetitions and unnecessary pauses. Suggestion: use 'watching the scenery' and 'whether by bus or car', and replace 'cannot keep myself' with 'cannot help myself' to use the correct present participle/idiomatic expression.

× Yes, I usually take photos and photos photos of the scenery outside the car window because I like I like showing my friends and family that such a scenery exists and I like to keep it as memory also.

✓ Yes, I usually take photos of the scenery outside the car window because I like showing my friends and family that such scenery exists and I like to keep it as a memory as well.

Errors: Repetition 'photos and photos photos' is redundancy (Sentence structure, ID 26). 'Such a scenery' is incorrect because 'scenery' is an uncountable noun and should not take 'a' (Singular and plural/article issue, ID 1 and 22). 'Keep it as memory' needs the article 'a' and 'also' is better placed as 'as well' (Article and adverb placement, IDs 22 and 20). Suggestion: use 'take photos of the scenery', 'such scenery', and 'keep it as a memory'.

× I usually prefer prefer mountains overseas as I get seasick seasick but mountains I find it relaxing, calm and reminds me me, reminds me of my home.

✓ I usually prefer mountains when traveling overseas because I get seasick, but I find mountains relaxing and calm, and they remind me of my home.

Errors: Duplicate words 'prefer prefer' and 'seasick seasick' and 'reminds me me' are repetitions (Sentence structure, ID 26). 'Mountains I find it relaxing' mixes plural subject 'mountains' with singular pronoun 'it' and verb 'reminds'—this is a subject-verb agreement and pronoun reference error (Subject-verb agreement/pronoun use, IDs 27 and 12). 'Mountains' is plural, so use 'they remind me' and 'I find mountains relaxing' (no 'it'). Also 'as I get seasick' should be connected with 'because' or 'when traveling' for clarity. Suggestion: restructure sentence to 'I usually prefer mountains when traveling overseas because I get seasick, but I find mountains relaxing and calm, and they remind me of my home.'