Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct and clear: start with a topic sentence that answers the question, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition, grammar errors and unclear phrases (e.g. “see the window at the scenery”, “and and the best was crowded”). Use linking words to make the answer coherent.

예시: Yes, I often look out of the window when I travel by bus. For example, I commute to school every day and enjoy watching the changing streets and buildings along the route. However, when the bus is crowded I sometimes cannot see much.

제안: Clarify and be concise: begin with a clear topic sentence, then give specific reasons and one concrete example. Remove irrelevant or unclear names (e.g. “for Isabelle”) and correct small grammar issues (e.g. “stop to catch” → “stop to capture”). Use linking words like “because” and “for example” appropriately.

예시: Yes, I often take photos of scenery outside the car window because I enjoy natural landscapes. For example, when I travel through the mountains I usually stop at viewpoints to capture the breathtaking views, but I rarely take selfies.

제안: Structure your answer: start with a clear preference or say you like both, then explain reasons in separate, linked sentences. Fix tense and sentence structure errors (e.g. “when I choose the sea when I went to swim” should be “I choose the sea when I want to swim”). Use linking words (however, while, because) to show contrast.

예시: I like both, but for different reasons. I prefer the mountains when I want peace and fresh air because hiking there is relaxing. However, I choose the sea when I want to swim and enjoy sunshine and wide views.

× Of course, I often see the window at the scenery when travelling by bus and go to school almost every day and and the best was crowded.

✓ Of course, I often look out the window at the scenery when travelling by bus to go to school almost every day, and the bus is often crowded.

The original sentence has multiple structure problems: incorrect verb choice 'see the window at the scenery' and repetition 'and and', unclear clause order, and tense/subject issues 'the best was crowded' (likely 'the bus was crowded'). Correct verb collocation is 'look out the window' and the phrase ordering should place purpose 'to go to school' correctly. Also use 'bus is often crowded' for present habitual action. Suggestion: split into clear clauses, use correct verb collocations, and remove duplicate words. Grammar problem type ID:26

× Yes, I often photograph the scenery outside the car window because I love natural beauty for Isabelle.

✓ Yes, I often photograph the scenery outside the car window because I love natural beauty.

The phrase 'for Isabelle' is unclear and unnecessary; it may be a leftover name. Additionally, 'photograph' is fine as a habitual verb. Remove the extraneous fragment to make the sentence grammatical and coherent. Suggestion: delete irrelevant phrases and keep subject and reason clear. Grammar problem type ID:8

× When I travel through the mountains, I frequently stop to catch at the breathtaking views, but I rarely take selfies or pictures of my face.

✓ When I travel through the mountains, I frequently stop to take in the breathtaking views, but I rarely take selfies or pictures of my face.

The verb 'catch' is not used with 'views' in this sense. The correct phrasal verb is 'take in' meaning to enjoy or appreciate a view. Using 'stop to take in the views' is the standard collocation. Suggestion: learn common verb + preposition collocations like 'take in the views'. Grammar problem type ID:11

× Actually, I like both the mountains and the sea, but for different reasons. I prefer the mountains when I want peace and fresh air because hiking there is relaxing when I choose the sea when I went to swim or enjoying the sunshine and views.

✓ Actually, I like both the mountains and the sea for different reasons. I prefer the mountains when I want peace and fresh air because hiking there is relaxing, but I choose the sea when I want to swim or enjoy the sunshine and the views.

The original contains run-on and mixed tenses: 'because hiking there is relaxing when I choose the sea when I went to swim or enjoying...' is ungrammatical. Fix by splitting into two clear contrasting clauses and matching tenses and infinitives: 'I prefer... because... , but I choose the sea when I want to swim or enjoy...' Use parallel structure for verbs 'to swim or enjoy' or present 'want to'. Suggestion: keep parallel verb forms and clear contrast markers (but, when). Grammar problem type ID:26