Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Good natural response with clear topic sentence and supporting details. To improve, make the answer more concise (max 5 sentences), add one specific example and use a linking word to connect ideas (e.g., 'because', 'so', 'for example'). Also vary vocabulary slightly (e.g., 'scenery' → 'view', 'people passing by' → 'pedestrians').

예시: I usually sit by the window because I enjoy watching the changing view, such as city streets and distant mountains. For example, on a recent three-hour bus trip I watched farmers in the countryside and small villages pass by, which felt relaxing. I sometimes listen to music while looking out, so long journeys seem to go by faster.

제안: Strong, relevant answer with clear reasons and a personal habit. To improve further, be slightly more specific with an example and use a linking word like 'because' or 'so' to strengthen cohesion. Keep it within five sentences.

예시: Sometimes I take photos, especially when the view is unusual or beautiful because I want to remember it. For example, last summer I photographed a dramatic sunset over a salt marsh and later printed it to hang on my wall. I only choose a few favorites to print so my home photo collection feels special.

제안: Clear opinion with reasons and sensory details. To improve, avoid negative phrasing that may sound dismissive (e.g., 'they all look quite similar'); instead give a positive comparison. Add a linking word (e.g., 'because' and 'however') and a brief specific example or memory to make the answer more vivid and personal.

예시: I prefer the sea because I love the relaxed atmosphere and the sound of the waves. For instance, on a weekend by the coast last year I enjoyed lying on the warm sand and watching boats drift by, which felt much more refreshing than hiking similar mountain trails I had visited.

× I also sometimes listen to music while looking outside which makes long journeys go by much faster.

✓ I also sometimes listen to music while looking outside, which makes long journeys go by much faster.

Missing comma before the non-restrictive relative clause beginning with which. The clause 'which makes long journeys go by much faster' refers to the whole preceding idea and should be set off with a comma. Add a comma to improve clarity and correct punctuation (this is a sentence-structure punctuation issue related to clause usage).

× In that case, if I see a dramatic sunset or a rare landscape, I'll take a photo to remember that moment and often print my favorites so I can display them at home.

✓ In that case, if I see a dramatic sunset or a rare landscape, I'll take a photo to remember the moment and often print my favorites so I can display them at home.

Use of the article 'that' before 'moment' is not incorrect but sounds slightly unnatural here. Replacing 'that moment' with 'the moment' is more idiomatic in English when referring to a recently mentioned event. This is a word choice/style improvement while keeping modal 'will' correct.

× Well, I prefer the sea because after visiting many mountains I find they all look quite similar so they no longer feel as appealing.

✓ Well, I prefer the sea because after visiting many mountains, I find they all look quite similar, so they no longer feel as appealing.

Missing commas for clarity around the subordinate clause 'after visiting many mountains' and before the coordinating conjunction 'so'. Adding commas clarifies the sentence structure and improves readability. The tenses are correct (present simple). This fix addresses sentence-structure punctuation.

× Although I haven't been to an exceptionally beautiful beach, I still enjoy the sound of the waves, the warm sun and the relaxed atmosphere when I'm lying on the sand.

✓ Although I haven't been to an exceptionally beautiful beach, I still enjoy the sound of the waves, the warm sun, and the relaxed atmosphere when I'm lying on the sand.

A serial (Oxford) comma after 'the warm sun' improves clarity in a list of three items. The tense usage (present perfect 'haven't been') and the participle 'lying' are correct. This is a punctuation/style improvement to avoid potential ambiguity.