Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific details using linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g. saying “look out the window” too often) and fix word order and articles.

예시: Yes, I often look out the window when I travel by bus or car. For example, I enjoy watching the streets and city parks because the changing views help me relax. Also, I sometimes note interesting buildings or people as I pass them.

제안: Provide a clear direct answer and correct tense usage. Use one linking phrase to explain why and give a specific example of when or what you photograph. Reduce filler words and repetitions.

예시: Yes, I often take photos from the car window because I find the scenery peaceful and photogenic. For instance, last month I photographed a sunset over the river while driving home, and the colours were stunning.

제안: Give a clear preference or explain you like both with balanced, specific reasons. Use linking words (Firstly, secondly, however) and correct noun forms and articles. Keep to 2–4 sentences and avoid repetition and unclear phrases.

예시: I enjoy both, but if I had to choose I would pick the mountains. Firstly, I like hiking and having picnics on mountain summits for the views and fresh air. However, I also enjoy diving in the sea to see fish and marine life when I want a more active, underwater experience.

× Definitely, I like to look out the window where at the scenery when I'm traveling by bus.

✓ Definitely, I like to look out the window at the scenery when I'm traveling by bus.

The phrase 'where at the scenery' is incorrect; 'look out the window at the scenery' uses the correct preposition 'at' after 'look'. Remove 'where' to fix word order and preposition use. Suggestion: Use 'look out the window at the scenery' or 'look at the scenery through the window'.

× Every time I go by bus or taxi, I usually look out the window and see the scenery of the street, the city, of anything.

✓ Every time I go by bus or taxi, I usually look out the window and see the scenery, such as the streets or the city.

The phrase 'scenery of the street, the city, of anything' is ungrammatical and awkward. Use 'such as' to give examples and pluralize 'street' to 'streets'. Suggestion: Provide clear examples after 'such as' and keep parallel structure.

× It is like I think is really peaceful and I can look out.

✓ I think it is really peaceful, and I can relax while looking out.

The original sentence misorders pronouns and verbs ('It is like I think is...'). Reorder to subject 'I' and verb 'think', and use a clear noun phrase 'it is really peaceful'. Also 'look out' needs context; 'relax while looking out' is clearer.

× I definitely because I usually look out of the window of, uh, the window when I'm traveling by car or bus.

✓ Definitely, because I usually look out of the window when I'm traveling by car or bus.

The sentence lacks a main verb after 'I definitely' and repeats 'window'. Removing the redundant phrase and adding 'because' at the start clarifies the reason. Suggestion: Start with 'Definitely' or 'Yes' and follow with a reason clause.

× So I, when I, when I look out the window, I usually took, I usually to want to take out, take photos of this because I think it's really, uh, peaceful and beautiful.

✓ So when I look out the window, I usually want to take photos because I think it's really peaceful and beautiful.

The speaker mixed past tense 'took' with present habitual 'usually' and used redundant fragments. Use present simple 'want' for habitual actions. Remove unnecessary filler words. Suggestion: For habits use present simple: 'I usually want to take photos.'

× I like the mountain because I I want to have a picnic on the top of mountain and also I like to take this photo of the Papa mountain because I think the scenery in that place is good.

✓ I like the mountains because I want to have a picnic on the top of a mountain, and I also like to take photos of the nearby mountain because I think the scenery there is beautiful.

Use plural 'mountains' for general preference or 'the mountain' with article. 'Top of mountain' needs an article: 'the top of a mountain'. 'This photo of the Papa mountain' is unclear—use 'take photos of the nearby mountain'. Use 'there' instead of 'in that place' and 'beautiful' instead of 'good' for natural description.

× I like to see also and I like to diving in the sea and also see the fish and the species in that.

✓ I also like swimming in the sea and seeing the fish and other species there.

Use correct gerund forms: 'like swimming' and 'seeing'. 'To diving' is incorrect; use 'diving' or 'swimming'. 'In that' is vague; use 'there'. 'The species' should be 'other species' or 'marine species'. Suggestion: Use parallel gerund structures for lists: 'I also like swimming and seeing the fish.'