Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 注意时态、流利度和发音，避免重复和口头填充词。回答应先直接回应问题（topic sentence），然后用1–2个具体细节支持，并使用连词使句子更连贯。例如说明频率、原因或举例。减少“uh”“and”等填充词，动词时态与主句一致（例如用“I usually travel by bus or car”）。

예시: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because it helps me see local life. For example, I often notice street markets and people commuting, which gives me a quick sense of everyday routines.

제안: 注意主谓一致和代词使用，避免冗长重复。开头先直接回答（Yes/No），然后用一到两个具体原因或例子支持。使用连接词如“because”或“so”保持逻辑性。把长句拆成更简短流畅的句子，控制在5句内。

예시: Yes, I often take photos of scenery outside the car window because beautiful views help me remember the trip. For instance, I save calming sunsets and unique landscapes in my photo album and later enjoy revisiting those memories.

제안: 需提高流利度与准确表达，避免重复单词和填充音。先给出明确立场（I prefer the sea），再用两到三个具体原因支持（颜色、感觉、活动），使用连接词如“because”和“for example”。注意词汇搭配（use 'working' only if correct; here 'walking' or 'spending time' may be better），并控制句长。

예시: I prefer the sea because I love the blue water and the relaxing atmosphere. For example, walking along the shore at sunset and feeling the cool breeze helps me unwind after a long day.

× Yes, when I travel, I usually took bus or car as my transportation method because it's very, uh, cost efficient.

✓ Yes, when I travel, I usually take the bus or car as my transportation method because they're very cost-efficient.

原句使用了“usually took”混合现在习惯与过去时，时态不一致。因为说话者描述的是一般习惯，应使用一般现在时“usually take”。另外，“bus”前应加定冠词“the”，并且“bus or car”作为复数概念时，后面谓语与之呼应用复数“they're”；“cost efficient”用连字符“cost-efficient”。建议：描述习惯时用一般现在时，注意冠词和主谓一致，以及形容词连字符的使用。

× Efficient and looking uh, out to win scenery outside the window can give you a quick glimpse of the, uh, daily life of the local people.

✓ Being efficient and looking out at the scenery outside the window can give you a quick glimpse of the daily life of local people.

原句中“looking out to win scenery”错误使用了介词和词序，“to win”显然为拼写或听写错误。应使用“look out at the scenery”。另外开头的“Efficient”单独出现不自然，应改为动名词短语“Being efficient”或移除。建议：检查听写错误，使用固定搭配“look out at”，保持词序正确。

× Yes, if the scenery outside the car window is very calming or attractive, I would take a picture of them.

✓ Yes, if the scenery outside the car window is very calming or attractive, I will take a picture of it.

条件句是一般现在时表示真实可能性，主句应使用将来时“will”而非情态动词“would”（除非是假设）。此外“scenery”是不可数名词，不能用代词“them”，应使用“it”。建议：真实条件句用一般现在+will，注意不可数名词代词一致。

× And even when my journey has ended, I will keep them in my photo album because it's a great way to help me remember all my feelings during this trip and it's very interesting when you look back on your photo album after.

✓ And even when my journey has ended, I will keep the photos in my photo album because it's a great way to help me remember my feelings during the trip, and it's very interesting to look back on the photo album afterwards.

句中“keep them”指代不明确，改为“the photos”。“remember all my feelings during this trip”冗长改为“remember my feelings during the trip”更自然。短语“when you look back on your photo album after”语序不自然，改为“to look back on the photo album afterwards”。建议：保持代词清晰，简化冗余表达，注意副词位置和短语搭配。

× I prefer the, uh, scene of the sea because I like the blue ocean very much and it always very, uh, satisfying, uh, working along the seaside during the sunset after a long day work and you can enjoy the cold breeze and the, the sun.

✓ I prefer the sea because I like the blue ocean very much, and it is always very satisfying to work along the seaside at sunset after a long day's work; you can enjoy the cool breeze and the sun.

原句缺少系动词“is”——“it always very satisfying”应为“it is always very satisfying”。“working along the seaside...”应用不定式“to work”或改为独立分句，并且“after a long day work”应为“after a long day's work”。“cold breeze”在海边一般用“cool breeze”更自然。建议：注意系动词的使用，名词所有格“day's work”，以及不定式或分句的正确形式。

× I think work, work in the sun is a very calming, calming thing.

✓ I think working in the sun is a very calming thing.

重复“work, work”为口误，应合并为动名词短语“working in the sun”。“is a very calming, calming thing”中重复形容词应去掉一个，使用“a very calming thing”或更自然地“is very calming”。建议：避免重复口语填充词，使用动名词并简化形容词修饰。