Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be clearer and more grammatical. Start with a direct topic sentence, correct pronoun/reference errors, and keep answers concise (max 4–5 sentences). Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, "because" or "so"). Add a specific detail about what you notice to make the answer vivid.

예시: Yes, I usually look out of the car window when I travel. I enjoy watching the changing landscape because it helps me relax and takes my mind off my phone. For example, I often notice old houses and green fields as we drive through the countryside, and I like to listen to music at the same time.

제안: Fix verb tense and clarity issues. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then give a specific example with correct tense and a short explanation of why you take photos. Use linking words like "for example" or "because" to connect ideas.

예시: Yes, I often take photos of scenery outside the car window because I like to capture interesting moments. For example, when I visited Hong Kong last year I photographed the beautiful seascape so I could look back on those memories later.

제안: Answer directly and correct word choice and grammar. State your preference clearly (mountains or the sea), give two specific reasons, and keep sentences short and coherent. Use linking words like "because" and "also". Avoid confusing phrases like "To the owners" and "relaxing on the bridge."

예시: I prefer the sea because I love swimming and sunbathing. I often go to the beach on weekends to relax and unwind. I also enjoy the peaceful atmosphere and the sound of the waves, which makes me feel refreshed.

× They got the house me reserve and pass the time watching the landscape go by.

✓ They had the house I reserved and passed the time watching the landscape go by.

The original sentence has incorrect word order and unclear subject-object relations. 'Got' is informal and ambiguous; 'had' is clearer for possession or occupancy. 'Me reserve' is incorrect word order and pronoun use; it should be 'I reserved' (subject + past verb). Also 'pass the time' should be 'passed the time' to match past tense. Suggestion: use clear subject-verb-object order and consistent past tense: 'They had the house I reserved and passed the time watching the landscape go by.'

× Takes my mind off my phone and I often listen to music while enjoying the new views.

✓ It takes my mind off my phone, and I often listen to music while enjoying the new views.

The sentence lacks a subject for the verb 'Takes'. English requires an explicit subject; 'It' or 'This' should be used. Also add a comma before the coordinating conjunction 'and' joining independent clauses. Suggestion: include the subject 'It' and proper punctuation: 'It takes my mind off my phone, and I often listen to music while enjoying the new views.'

× For instance, when I last visit Hong Kong, I photographed the beautiful seascape, so I couldn't look back on these memories later.

✓ For instance, when I last visited Hong Kong, I photographed the beautiful seascape, so I could look back on those memories later.

Tense consistency error: 'last visit' should be past tense 'last visited' to match 'photographed'. Modal/past reference 'couldn't look back' contradicts intended meaning; likely meant 'could look back'. 'These memories' is better as 'those memories' when referring to past events. Suggestion: keep verbs in past tense and use 'could' for ability to recall: 'when I last visited... I photographed... so I could look back on those memories later.'

× To the owners, I prefer to see because I love swimming and relaxing on the bridge.

✓ Personally, I prefer the sea because I love swimming and relaxing on the beach.

'To the owners' is an incorrect and irrelevant prepositional phrase here. The likely intended meaning is 'Personally' or 'For me'. 'Prefer to see' is incorrect collocation; say 'prefer the sea' or 'prefer the mountains/the sea'. 'Relaxing on the bridge' misuses 'bridge' instead of 'beach' given context of swimming; 'on the bridge' is unlikely for swimming. Suggestion: replace with appropriate adverb 'Personally', use correct collocation 'prefer the sea', and 'beach' for a place to swim and sunbathe.

× I often go there every weekends to sunbathe and unwind.

✓ I often go there every weekend to sunbathe and unwind.

'Every weekends' is ungrammatical: 'every' must be followed by a singular noun ('every weekend'), whereas 'weekends' would pair with 'on' ('on weekends'). Suggestion: use 'every weekend' to indicate each weekend, or 'on weekends' for general habit: 'I often go there every weekend to sunbathe and unwind.'

× I also enjoy the peaceful atmosphere and the sound of the winds, which helps me feel refreshed.

✓ I also enjoy the peaceful atmosphere and the sound of the wind, which helps me feel refreshed.

'The sound of the winds' is awkward; 'the sound of the wind' is the normal collocation when referring to the noise the wind makes. 'Winds' plural is possible but less natural here. Suggestion: use the singular 'wind' for general description: 'the sound of the wind.'