Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct vocabulary; start with a clear topic sentence, avoid short fragments and errors (e.g., “tiger time” → “time pressure” or “hurried”). Use one or two supporting details connected with linking words. Keep within 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I do. I find looking out the window is the best way to explore a city because you can notice everyday life and architecture. For example, on bus journeys I often spot small shops and street markets that I would miss from a car, so I prefer to observe while travelling.

제안: Use correct tense and vocabulary (e.g., “I do take photos” and “cars” not “cards”); give one clear reason and a linking word. Avoid vague phrasing like “not beautiful” — be specific (e.g., “blurry” or “poorly framed”).

예시: Yes, I do take photos sometimes, but they often turn out blurry because the car is moving. Therefore I usually take quick snapshots to remember a view, and later look for the same place to photograph it more carefully when I can stop.

제안: Start with a clear, correct topic sentence and use accurate vocabulary (e.g., “sea” not “state”; “beach” not repeated mistakes; “volleyball” instead of “lorry balls”). Give 1–2 specific supporting details and use linking words to connect ideas. Keep sentences natural and grammatical.

예시: I prefer the sea, especially in summer, because I enjoy swimming and relaxing on the beach. For instance, I like spending afternoons with friends playing beach volleyball and having a picnic by the water.

× Yes, I do. Actually. I think it's the best way to explore this city by far. By car, by bus or by train. You can see all the views without the tiger time.

✓ Yes, I do. Actually, I think travelling by car, bus, or train is by far the best way to explore this city because you can see all the views without rushing.

The original contains sentence fragments and awkward phrasing ('Actually.' as a fragment, 'the tiger time' is incorrect). This matches 'Sentence structure errors' (ID 26). Combine fragments into complete sentences, use a clear comparative phrase 'by far the best', and replace unclear phrase with 'without rushing' to convey intended meaning. Also use parallel structure for the list 'car, bus, or train'. Suggestion: avoid sentence fragments; join related ideas with commas or conjunctions and choose clear vocabulary.

× Yes, I'll take the photos of this scenery, but I think it's not the same as you see, because when the cards move so fast, the picture seems not beautiful.

✓ Yes, I'll take photos of the scenery, but I think it's not the same as what you see, because when the car moves so fast, the picture does not look beautiful.

Errors include unnecessary article 'the' before 'photos' and 'scenery' and wrong words 'cards' and awkward negation 'seems not beautiful'. These are article and word-choice/structure issues so classified under 'Article errors' (ID 22). Remove unnecessary 'the', use 'what you see' for comparison, correct 'cards' to 'car', and use 'does not look beautiful' for natural negation. Suggestion: omit 'the' with general nouns like 'photos' and 'scenery'; use 'what' for comparisons and standard negative constructions like 'does not look'.

× I prefer the state, especially in summer.

✓ I prefer the sea, especially in summer.

This appears to be a word choice error but aligned with preposition/word misuse category; here 'state' should be 'sea', likely a mistranslation. Classified under 'Incorrect use of prepositions' (ID 11) because 'in summer' is correct but the noun is wrong. Correct to 'sea' so the sentence makes sense. Suggestion: check vocabulary for similar-sounding words; use 'prefer the sea' when contrasting with mountains.

× My biggest pleasure is swimming in the sea or sitting in the beach or taking some time with my friends in the beach playing some lorry balls.

✓ My greatest pleasure is swimming in the sea, sitting on the beach, or spending time with my friends on the beach playing volleyball.

Multiple errors: 'the beach' should be 'the beach' in some contexts but idiomatically 'on the beach' is correct (preposition issue) and 'some time' should be 'spending time'; 'lorry balls' is incorrect — likely 'volleyball'. These are article/preposition and word-choice errors, classified here as 'Article errors' (ID 22) because of incorrect article and preposition use and wrong noun. Use parallel gerund phrases for clarity: 'swimming', 'sitting', 'spending'. Suggestion: use 'on the beach' not 'in the beach', keep parallel verb forms, and confirm correct sport name 'volleyball'.