Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Укажите чётко, почему вы предпочитаете смотреть в окно, исправив грамматические ошибки и убрав бессвязные слова. Используйте связки, чтобы ответ был логичным: начните с основной идеи, затем добавьте 1–2 конкретных детали и закончите кратким выводом. Следите за временем и избегайте лишних слов (максимум 5 предложений).

예시: I prefer looking out of the window when I travel by bus because it lets me enjoy the scenery. For example, I enjoy watching changing landscapes and seeing local people going about their day. This helps me relax and makes the journey more interesting.

제안: Исправьте местоимения и порядок слов, уточните идею и используйте связующее слово для плавного перехода. Уберите неуместные фразы и дайте одно конкретное объяснение и пример того, что вы фотографируете. Соблюдайте краткость и естественность речи.

예시: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery from the car window when I'm a passenger. However, I never try to take pictures while driving because it's dangerous. I usually photograph interesting buildings or dramatic skies so I can remember the view after the trip.

제안: Дайте прямой ответ в первом предложении, затем добавьте 1–2 конкретных причин с объяснениями и завершите кратким заключением. Избегайте вопросов-отступлений в начале (например, "can I answer both?") и следите за формой глаголов. Используйте связки (because, so, therefore) для связности.

예시: I prefer the mountains because they are quieter and the air feels cleaner than at the coast. I enjoy hiking there and the chance to breathe fresh air, which helps me relax and clear my mind. That's why I usually choose mountain trips over beach holidays.

× Opera because it gives me a chance to enjoy the scenery.

✓ I prefer it because it gives me a chance to enjoy the scenery.

The original is a sentence fragment starting with 'Opera' which is irrelevant and leaves out the subject and verb required for a complete sentence. Use a clear subject and verb to connect to the previous sentence: 'I prefer it because...' This creates a complete sentence and maintains coherence. Suggestion: remove the stray word 'Opera' and use a pronoun referring to looking out the window ('it' or 'that').

× For example, I like watching changing landscapes and local life, which helps to relax culture.

✓ For example, I like watching changing landscapes and local life because they help me relax.

The clause 'which helps to relax culture' is ungrammatical and semantically odd. The relative clause should refer clearly to 'changing landscapes and local life' and the verb should match the subject; 'they help me relax' is appropriate. Use a clear subject ('they') and a correct object ('me') and verb ('help') instead of 'helps to relax culture'. Suggestion: replace the awkward clause with 'because they help me relax.'

× Sleepless.

✓ I sometimes feel sleepless.

A single word 'Sleepless.' is a fragment and lacks subject and verb. Convert it into a complete clause that expresses a thought: 'I sometimes feel sleepless.' or 'It makes me sleepless.' Suggestion: provide a subject and verb to form a full sentence.

× Oh of course they take photos of the scenery outside the car window.

✓ Oh, of course I take photos of the scenery outside the car window.

The pronoun 'they' is incorrect because the speaker is referring to their own action. Use the first-person singular pronoun 'I' to match the subject. Also add a comma after 'Oh' for natural speech rhythm. Suggestion: use 'I' when speaking about your own actions.

× I know it's not very safe to do that while driving, but when I'm a passenger I love taking pictures because they memorize to enjoy after my trip.

✓ I know it's not very safe to do that while driving, but when I'm a passenger I love taking pictures because they help me remember and enjoy them after my trip.

The clause 'they memorize to enjoy after my trip' is ungrammatical. 'Memorize' is a verb that does not take this structure and 'they' is ambiguous. Use 'help me remember' to show purpose and 'enjoy them' to refer to the photos. This yields a clear, grammatical result. Suggestion: use 'help me remember' and 'enjoy them' to express why you take pictures.

× Sorry, can I answer both? Actually I prefer the mountains because they feel more peaceful and cleaner than the sea.

✓ Sorry, can I answer both? Actually, I prefer the mountains because they feel more peaceful and cleaner than the sea.

This sentence is mostly correct but lacks a comma after 'Actually' for natural spoken punctuation. No major grammatical change required; add the comma for clarity. Suggestion: insert a comma after introductory adverbs like 'Actually'.

× Enjoy hiking there and breathing fresh air which helps me relax.

✓ I enjoy hiking there and breathing the fresh air, which helps me relax.

The original sentence fragment lacks an explicit subject 'I'. Adding 'I' makes it a complete sentence. Also add 'the' before 'fresh air' for naturalness and a comma before the nonrestrictive 'which' clause. Suggestion: include the subject 'I', use the article 'the' with 'fresh air', and insert a comma before 'which'.