Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the response more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail and a linking word. Avoid awkward phrasing (e.g., "view out of" -> "look out of") and unclear expressions like "sink in those places."

예시: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by car or bus. For example, I enjoy noticing local architecture and small shops because it helps me understand the character of a place. Also, when I travel to a new town, I pay attention to street signs and parks so I can remember the route.

제안: Clarify meaning and fix grammar. Give one clear reason and a contrasting statement using a linking word. Avoid confusing phrases like "collect those two."

예시: Sometimes I take photos of the scenery with my phone, but when I am driving I never take pictures because it would be dangerous. Instead, I ask a passenger to take photos or I save them for when we stop.

제안: Begin with a direct topic sentence (mountains or sea), then give one specific reason and a short supporting example. Correct grammar and use linking words to connect ideas. Avoid irrelevant details like motion sickness unless linked to preference.

예시: I prefer the mountains to the sea because I enjoy hiking and cooler weather. For example, when I visited Sikkim, I loved walking on the trails and seeing the views, which made the trip memorable.

× Yes, I naturally view out of any window of a car or a bus while traveling.

✓ Yes, I naturally look out of the window of a car or bus while traveling.

The verb 'view out of' is unnatural; 'look out of' or simply 'look out the window' is correct. Also 'any window of a car or a bus' is wordy; 'the window of a car or bus' is clearer. Use 'look' (verb) not 'view' in this intransitive context.

× It helps me explore and know about the new area that I'm driving in and get to know my surroundings.

✓ It helps me learn about the new area I'm driving through and to get to know my surroundings.

Mixed and awkward verb forms: 'explore and know about' is redundant. Use 'learn about' and maintain parallel structure with infinitives 'to learn' and 'to get to know' or use gerunds consistently. Also 'driving in' is better expressed as 'driving through.'

× I love going to new places and this is how I sink in those places.

✓ I love going to new places, and this is how I immerse myself in them.

The verb 'sink in' is incorrect in this context; the correct phrase is 'immerse myself in' meaning to fully experience a place. Also replace 'those places' with 'them' for smoother reference and add a comma before the conjunction.

× I sometimes take pictures from my phone of outside world, but when the times I'm driving I usually refrain from taking any photographs because this may harm the passengers or family with me and I collect those two.

✓ I sometimes take pictures from my phone of the outside world, but when I'm driving I usually refrain from taking photographs because it may endanger the passengers or my family with me, so I avoid doing that.

Missing definite article: 'the outside world' requires 'the.' Wordy and incorrect phrases: 'when the times I'm driving' should be 'when I'm driving.' 'This may harm the passengers or family with me' is awkward; use 'it may endanger the passengers or my family.' 'I collect those two' is unclear; replace with 'I avoid doing that.' Maintain pronoun clarity and natural collocations.

× I prefer driving or prefer going to mountains more than sea as I designate myself as a hill person.

✓ I prefer driving to or going to the mountains more than the sea, as I consider myself a hill person.

Missing definite article: 'the mountains' and 'the sea' need 'the.' Awkward verb 'designate myself' should be 'consider myself.' Also use parallel structure 'prefer driving to or going to the mountains' or simpler 'I prefer the mountains to the sea.'

× Once I went to a hill called Sikkim in my country and I was feeling very motion sickness and my driver told to go out in a run in the cold weather.

✓ Once I went to a hill area called Sikkim in my country and I felt very motion sick, so my driver told me to go out for a run in the cold weather.

Tense and form errors: use 'felt' rather than 'was feeling' to narrate a past event. 'Very motion sickness' is incorrect noun/adjective form; use 'very motion sick.' 'Told to go out in a run' needs an object and idiomatic phrasing: 'told me to go out for a run.'

× It was super fun.

✓ It was really fun.

Stylistic choice: 'super fun' is informal; 'really fun' is more natural in a semi-formal speaking test. No major grammatical error but a better word choice improves register.