Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is natural and relevant, but it is a bit long and slightly repetitive (two instances of ‘when travelling’ and similar ideas about relaxation). To improve, start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using a linking word. Vary vocabulary slightly and avoid repeating exact phrases.

예시: Yes, I always try to sit by the window. For example, when I travel I plug in my earphones and watch the countryside pass — the combination of music and scenery helps me unwind after a busy day.

제안: Good direct response with reason and purpose. To improve further, add a brief specific example and a linking word to make the detail more vivid and concrete (e.g., describe a scene you captured). Keep sentences concise to meet the five-sentence guideline.

예시: Yes, I often take photos from the window because the scenes look peaceful. For instance, last month I photographed a sunset over rolling fields and later shared it with my family to remember the trip.

제안: Clear preference and reason, but the phrasing is slightly informal and could be more specific. Improve by stating the preference more directly, then give a concrete reason or short contrast using a linking word (e.g., ‘because’ or ‘whereas’) and a brief example of what you enjoy about the sea.

예시: I prefer the sea to the mountains because watching the waves relaxes me. For example, I can sit on the beach for hours listening to the waves and watching sunlight sparkle on the water.

× Absolutely, I love to look out the window when traveling and I make sure that I book a window seat when travelling because just plugging in the earphones and listening to music while looking at the views, it helps me to relax and soothe my mind.

✓ Absolutely, I love to look out the window when traveling, and I make sure that I book a window seat when traveling because simply plugging in my earphones and listening to music while looking at the view helps me relax and soothe my mind.

The original sentence misuses a comma and has redundant continuous forms. 'Just plugging in the earphones and listening to music while looking at the views, it helps' creates a dangling construction and unnecessary pronoun 'it'. Use a gerund phrase as subject properly: 'simply plugging in my earphones and listening to music while looking at the view helps me relax...' Also 'earphones' benefits from possessive 'my'; 'views' is better singular 'view' for general scenery. Remove the extra comma before 'helps' and use 'relax' (base verb) after 'helps'. Suggestions: attach the gerund subject directly to the verb (helps), use consistent spelling 'traveling', and avoid unnecessary pronouns.

× I always take a picture when looking out a window because there's something very peaceful and calm about the moment that I would like to capture and show it to my friends or family later on.

✓ I always take a picture when looking out a window because there is something very peaceful and calm about the moment that I would like to capture and show to my friends or family later.

The original uses contraction 'there's' which is acceptable informally; however the sentence contains an unnecessary pronoun 'it' after 'show'. After 'show' a direct object is required: 'show to my friends' or 'show it to my friends'. To avoid repetition of 'it' (referring to 'the moment' or 'picture'), restructure to 'show to my friends or family'. Also 'later on' is wordy; use 'later'. Keep 'there is' full form if preferred in formal responses. Suggestion: remove redundant words and ensure correct object placement after verbs like 'show'.

× I think I prefer sea over mountains because there's something surreal about looking at the waves and I feel like it is the only moment where I can look at something for hours.

✓ I think I prefer the sea over the mountains because there is something surreal about looking at the waves, and I feel like it is the only time when I can look at something for hours.

When referring to general nouns like 'sea' and 'mountains' in this comparative sense, English typically uses the definite article: 'the sea' and 'the mountains'. 'Moment' is not the best word here; 'time' is more natural. 'Where' should be replaced by 'when' because it refers to time, not place. Also add a comma before 'and' to separate clauses. Suggestion: use definite articles with general geographical terms, use 'time' for temporal contexts, and use 'when' for temporal clauses.