Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more grammatically accurate, concise and coherent. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundant or confused phrases and correct tense and word choice (e.g. 'see' instead of 'saw', 'changes' instead of 'change').

예시: Yes, I usually look out of the window when my mum drives me to school. For example, I enjoy spotting new shops and changed buildings, and sometimes I notice traffic jams or accidents, which tell me how busy the road is.

제안: Improve word choice and sentence flow. Give a clear main sentence then a specific reason and one brief example. Use correct collocations (e.g. 'at sunset', 'skyline' or 'light' instead of 'line'). Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I often take photos from the car, especially at sunset. The light and colours make the skyline and landscape look dramatic, so I like to capture those moments to remember the view.

제안: Provide a clear preference sentence and then one or two specific reasons linked coherently. Fix grammar and awkward phrasing (e.g. 'climbing mountains makes me feel uncomfortable and anxious' instead of 'caring'). Avoid sentence fragments.

예시: I prefer the sea to the mountains because I enjoy water activities and find the ocean relaxing and refreshing. Climbing mountains makes me feel uncomfortable and a bit anxious, so I rarely choose hiking as a holiday activity.

× Yes, of course, I often look out of the window when my mom drives me to school and I like watching some new change like new shop and sometimes I will I saw some traffic jams and car accident.

✓ Yes, of course, I often look out of the window when my mom drives me to school, and I like watching new things like new shops. Sometimes I see traffic jams and car accidents.

Errors: incorrect verb forms and word choice. 'watching some new change like new shop' is unnatural; use plural 'new things' and 'shops' (singular/plural). 'sometimes I will I saw' mixes future and past; use simple present 'sometimes I see' to match habitual action. Also add a comma before 'and' to join independent clauses and pluralize 'car accident' to 'car accidents' for general instances. Suggestion: use simple present for regular habits and correct plural nouns and word order.

× Yes, of course. I sometimes take photos of the view from the car, especially at the sunset, because the line is beautiful and the landscape looks dramatic, and I usually capture the moment.

✓ Yes, of course. I sometimes take photos of the view from the car, especially at sunset, because the light is beautiful and the landscape looks dramatic, so I usually capture the moment.

Errors: incorrect word choice 'at the sunset' should be 'at sunset' or 'during sunset'. 'the line is beautiful' is likely a typo for 'the light is beautiful'. Use 'so' or a comma to connect cause and effect. Suggestion: choose correct noun ('light') and concise time expression ('at sunset').

× I prefer water activity in the ocean rather than climbing mountain because in the water I feel more relaxed and cool.

✓ I prefer water activities in the ocean to climbing mountains because I feel more relaxed and cooler in the water.

Errors: collocation and comparison structure. Use plural 'water activities' and 'climbing mountains' for general activities. Use 'prefer A to B' rather than 'prefer A rather than B'. Place comparative 'cooler' to compare feelings. Suggestion: use correct collocations and the 'prefer A to B' pattern for comparisons.

× On the other hand, climbing mountain. Makes me feel uncomfortable and caring.

✓ On the other hand, climbing mountains makes me feel uncomfortable and anxious.

Errors: fragmented sentence ('climbing mountain.' separated) and wrong adjective 'caring' (means showing concern for others). Use 'climbing mountains makes' as one sentence and replace 'caring' with 'anxious' or 'uncomfortable' to express personal feeling. Suggestion: avoid sentence fragments and choose adjectives that match intended meaning.