Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答需要更简洁、结构更清晰，并修正语法错误。开头应直接回答问题，然后给出一到两个具体原因或细节，句子不宜过长或重复。注意时态和人称（比如“when I was a child”），避免不相关信息或重复（例如两次说“when I was a child”）。可以用连接词（because, so, now）来保证逻辑。

예시: No, I usually don’t look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because I use my smartphone to watch videos. When I was a child I sometimes looked at things outside, but now I prefer to relax and scroll through social media during the trip.

제안: 回答总体明确，但有语法和赘述问题。应直接回答并给出具体理由或情境说明，例如为什么不在车上拍（窗反光、画面不好），以及何时会拍照（到达目的地、景点）。减少填充词（umm）和重复。保持句子在两到三句内。

예시: No, I usually don’t take photos from a moving car because the windows cause reflections and the pictures turn out blurry. I prefer to wait until we stop at a viewpoint or get off the bus so I can take clear photos.

제안: 回答表达了个人偏好和原因，这是好的。但需改进语法和措辞，使论述更自然流畅。开头先明确陈述偏好，然后用一到两句具体说明原因（例如声音、气味、活动），并用连接词（because, while）比较山和海的感受，避免犹豫词（uh, I don't know why）。

예시: I prefer the sea because I enjoy the sound of the waves and the open atmosphere; it gives me a sense of freedom and relaxation. In contrast, mountains feel more enclosed to me and sometimes make me feel uneasy.

× No but I did look out the window at the UMM to look the wheel when I was child when I was a child.

✓ No, but I used to look out the window at the umm to see the wheels when I was a child.

句子中描述过去经常发生的动作，应使用过去习惯表述（used to）或过去时。原句“I did look out the window...when I was child”中“did look”虽为过去时的强调用法但不自然，且缺少冠词“a child”；“look the wheel”用法错误，应为“see the wheels”。建议使用“used to”或简单过去时，并在“child”前加不定冠词。

× But now I don't look out the window when I traveling by bus or car because now I have smartphones.

✓ But now I don't look out the window when I travel by bus or car because I have a smartphone.

原句中“when I traveling”缺少动词原形，应为“when I travel”（时态一致性）。“smartphones”应与主语一致并加冠词或改为复数视语境：此处说的是个人设备，改为“a smartphone”。此外去掉重复的“now”。

× I just watch videos or TikTok when I buy the bus or car.

✓ I just watch videos or TikTok when I take the bus or car.

动词“buy the bus or car”与上下文不符。表示乘坐交通工具应使用“take”或“ride”，而不是“buy”。因此将“buy”改为“take/ride”。

× No, I don't like to take umm the pictures of the sceneries out when outside the car window.

✓ No, I don't like to take pictures of the scenery outside the car window.

“the pictures of the sceneries out when outside”词序混乱且“sceneries”通常不可数，应用“scenery”。删除多余词“out when”并调整词序，变为“pictures of the scenery outside the car window”。

× I just umm when I reach a spot I just I will take off the bus or car and take the photo.

✓ When I reach a spot, I get off the bus or car and take photos.

原句“I just umm when I reach a spot I just I will take off the bus or car”结构重复、用词不当。“take off the bus”是不正确的，正确应为“get off the bus”或“get out of the car”。时态上用一般现在或一般过去取决语境，此处习惯动作用一般现在或一般过去常规，改为“When I reach a spot, I get off the bus or car and take photos.”

× I prefer to see because I enjoy the atmosphere of the beaches or the sea waves, but I don't uh, I think this give me, this gives me a feeling of freedom.

✓ I prefer the sea because I enjoy the atmosphere of the beaches and the sound of the waves; I think it gives me a feeling of freedom.

“prefer to see”用法不当，常说“I prefer the sea”或“I prefer seeing the sea”。“the beaches or the sea waves”应更自然地表达为“the beaches and the sound of the waves”。主语与谓语不一致：“this give me”应为“this gives me”。将句子重组，修正主谓一致并使用更自然的搭配。

× But mountain, mountains, doesn't mountains give me a feeling of pressure? I don't know why.

✓ But mountains don't give me a feeling of pressure. I don't know why.

原句“doesn't mountains give me”中主语“mountains”为复数，应使用复数形式的助动词“do”，并把疑问句改为陈述句更符合上下文。去掉重复词“mountain, mountains”。最终改为“Moutains don't give me a feeling of pressure.”