Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and directly answer first, then add one or two specific details. Avoid repetition and unnecessary filler words (e.g., “so basically”, “when while”). Use a linking word if you add a reason or an example.

예시: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or car. I enjoy watching changing landscapes, especially small villages and fields, because they help me relax and pass the time. For example, last month I watched farmers working in the fields on my way to a small town.

제안: Start with a clear yes/no and then give specific reasons and a short example. Avoid unclear words and grammar mistakes (e.g., “awfully”, “data I have travelled there”). Keep to two or three supporting sentences and use linking words like “so” or “for example.”

예시: Yes, I often take photos of the scenery from the car window. I like to capture landscapes that look different from my hometown, and I usually share the best photos with my family and friends online. For example, I posted pictures of a colorful sunset I saw while driving along the coast last year.

제안: Give a direct preference sentence, then explain with specific reasons and one brief example. Avoid repeating words (e.g., “adventure” twice) and fix grammar (e.g., “prefer mountains because they are adventurous”). Use linking words like “because” or “for example.”

예시: I prefer the mountains because I enjoy hiking and the sense of adventure they offer. The trails, fresh air, and views from the top make trips exciting; for example, I once drove to a mountain village and spent the afternoon exploring a rocky trail and taking photos.

× So basically it's very fun to look outside the bus when while traveling.

✓ So basically it's very fun to look out of the bus while traveling.

The original sentence contains an incorrect combination 'look outside the bus when while traveling' which mixes two conjunctions and uses 'outside the bus' less idiomatically. Use the present participle 'traveling' correctly with 'while' and the more natural prepositional phrase 'look out of the bus'. Also remove the redundant 'when'. Suggestion: 'look out of the bus while traveling' for clarity and correct participle use.

× So looking outside you can see the scenery.

✓ When you look outside, you can see the scenery.

The original uses a dangling adverbial 'So looking outside' that makes the sentence awkward. Recasting as a full adverbial clause 'When you look outside' gives a clear subject and verb structure and corrects sentence flow.

× The scenery is a part of the nature and when awfully I travel to different places by bus and car, I will take a picture and post it online, sent to my friends and show to my family data I have travelled there.

✓ Scenery is part of nature, and when I travel to different places by bus or car, I take pictures, post them online, send them to my friends, and show them to my family as proof that I have traveled there.

Multiple issues: 'awfully' is the wrong adverb and unnecessary, so removed. Article use: 'The scenery is a part of the nature' is awkward; use 'Scenery is part of nature' or 'The scenery is part of nature.' Verb tense and parallelism: change 'when ... I will take a picture and post it online, sent to my friends and show to my family' to present habitual action 'I take pictures, post them online, send them to my friends, and show them to my family.' Also correct verb forms ('sent' to 'send') and add objects for clarity. Added 'as proof that I have traveled there' to reflect intended meaning and correct perfect participle use.

× So I prefer mountains because due to adventure, the adventure mountain is very scary and fun at that moment.

✓ I prefer mountains because they are adventurous; mountain adventures can be scary and fun.

Original sentence misuses 'due to' and repeats 'adventure' awkwardly. 'Due to adventure' is not correct; use 'because they are adventurous' or 'because of the sense of adventure.' Also 'the adventure mountain' is ungrammatical; rephrase to 'mountain adventures.' Simplify and correct noun-adjective order for clarity.

× So that's why I prefer in travelling mountains by bus or by car.

✓ That's why I prefer traveling to mountains by bus or by car.

The phrase 'prefer in travelling mountains' is ungrammatical. Use 'prefer traveling to mountains' or 'prefer to travel to the mountains.' Also choose parallel prepositions 'by bus or by car' or simply 'by bus or car.' This corrects preposition use and sentence structure.