Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce hesitations and repetition, correct minor word choice errors, and make the answer more concise and coherent. Begin with a clear topic sentence, use one linking phrase for elaboration, and provide a specific example. Avoid filler sounds (uh, um) and repeating words. Aim for 2–4 sentences and use precise vocabulary (e.g., "scenery," "mountain landscapes").

예시: Yes. I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because I enjoy the changing scenery. For example, when I go to the mountains I like watching the green forests and winding roads because they feel peaceful and relaxing.

제안: Eliminate repetition and informal phrasing, use correct grammar (e.g., "photoholic" is informal; use "I love photography"), and provide a specific reason and brief example. Keep it within 2–4 sentences and use linking words like "because" or "so" to connect ideas.

예시: Yes, I love photography, so I often take photos from car windows. For instance, on long drives I stop briefly or ask the driver to slow down so I can capture interesting landscapes like fields at sunset because the light makes the view special.

제안: Avoid repetition and idioms that sound exaggerated; be concise and give a specific reason and a brief example. Start with a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then add a linked reason and a concrete detail about what you enjoy in the mountains. Keep to 2–3 sentences and use varied vocabulary (e.g., "calming," "fresh air").

예시: I prefer the mountains because I enjoy being surrounded by greenery and fresh air. For example, hiking on mountain trails helps me relax and clear my mind, which makes me feel refreshed and more focused afterwards.

× So yes, I usually, uh, have a look around the window whenever, whenever I travel, uh, by the bus or car because it shows the scenery of the outside and whenever I travel to the mountains, I'll, I'd love to watch the series and the, uh, green tree.

✓ So yes, I usually have a look out of the window whenever I travel by bus or car because it shows the scenery outside, and whenever I travel to the mountains, I love to watch the trees and the greenery.

Errors include incorrect use of articles ('the bus or car' should be 'bus or car' when speaking generally) and wrong noun forms ('green tree' and 'series' are incorrect here). Use 'look out of the window' or 'look out the window' and drop 'the' before general transport nouns. 'Series' seems to be a mistaken word; 'trees' and 'greenery' correctly refer to mountain vegetation. Also remove filler repetitions and contractions that break fluency.

× Yes as I am I am very photo holic person so I capture every good sceneries and moments whenever I have the leisure time.

✓ Yes, I am a very photo‑loving person, so I capture every good scene and moment whenever I have leisure time.

Problems: 'photo holic' is nonstandard; use 'photo‑loving' or 'photophile' and include the article 'a' before 'very photo‑loving person'. 'Good sceneries' is incorrect because 'scenery' is an uncountable noun; use 'scene' (countable) or 'scenery' (uncountable) without plural. 'Moments' can be singular or plural but pair with 'every' use singular 'moment' or rephrase. Also unnecessary repetition 'I am I am' should be avoided.

× So I love to click pictures from the car windows as it shows a much better view and I love to grab.

✓ So I love to take pictures from the car window as it shows a much better view, and I love to capture those moments.

'Click pictures' is informal; 'take pictures' or 'take photos' is standard. 'Car windows' should be singular 'car window' when speaking of the view from a vehicle generically. The verb 'grab' is vague and incomplete here; use 'capture those moments' to convey meaning. Also ensure parallel structure with 'I love to take... and I love to capture...'. 'Shows' agrees with singular 'view'.

× From my own perspective, I love the mountains because I admire greenery a lot and whenever I travel to the mountains I I feel over the moon whenever I visit and it it relaxes my mind and strengthens my ability to think straight.

✓ From my perspective, I love the mountains because I admire greenery a lot, and whenever I travel to the mountains I feel over the moon; it relaxes my mind and strengthens my ability to think clearly.

Remove repeated words ('I I', 'it it') and redundant 'whenever I visit' because 'whenever I travel to the mountains' already conveys the idea. 'Think straight' is nonstandard; use 'think clearly'. Maintain present simple tense for habitual feelings ('I love', 'it relaxes'). Punctuation improvements (comma and semicolon) help clarity.