Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid trailing or unfinished thoughts. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail with a linking word. Avoid religious or controversial statements that appear incomplete; instead focus on neutral descriptive comments about the scenery. Keep the response under five sentences and watch tense/word choice (e.g., 'looking out the window' not 'looking at the windows').

예시: Yes, I usually look out the window when I travel by bus or car. For example, I enjoy watching changing landscapes like fields and small towns because they help me relax and think. Also, sometimes I notice details such as architecture or seasonal colours, which gives me ideas for photographs.

제안: This answer is natural and coherent but a little repetitive. Use linking words to structure it (e.g., 'so', 'however') and give a brief specific example to support your preference. Limit repetition and avoid phrases like 'enjoy, enjoy'; instead use one clear phrase. Keep to under five sentences.

예시: I rarely take many photos because I prefer to stay in the moment. For example, when I visit a city I might take one photo of the skyline, but then I spend the afternoon walking and soaking up the atmosphere. This approach helps me remember the experience better.

제안: Begin with a direct topic sentence stating your preference, then use linking words (e.g., 'because', 'although') and give one concrete reason or example. Avoid vague phrases like 'move through the mountains' — be specific (hiking, viewpoints). Remove filler phrases such as 'it's a really hard question.'

예시: I prefer the mountains because I enjoy hiking and panoramic views. For instance, in Switzerland I like following mountain trails to reach viewpoints where I can see valleys and snow-capped peaks, which feels peaceful and refreshing. Although the sea is beautiful, I find mountain landscapes more energising.

× I'm always looking at the windows while traveling with the bus or the car and just thinking about life and thinking about God's creation, how this beautiful earth was being created by a God and still people think it's a.

✓ I'm always looking out of the window while traveling by bus or car and just thinking about life and God's creation, how this beautiful earth was created by God, and yet some people still don't believe that.

Present tense and verb form: 'looking at the windows' is awkward; use 'looking out of the window' (singular, general). Prepositions: 'traveling with the bus or the car' is incorrect; use 'traveling by bus or car'. 'was being created by a God' mixes continuous past passive unnecessarily; use simple past passive 'was created' or active 'created by God'. Also simplify 'a God' to 'God' if referring to the monotheistic belief. Finally, 'still people think it's a' is incomplete and unclear; revise to 'yet some people still don't believe that.' Suggestions: use consistent present tense for habitual actions, prefer 'looking out of the window' and 'traveling by bus or car', and avoid unnecessary continuous passive constructions.

× Yeah, but actually not that much because I prefer living in the moment rather than taking pictures.

✓ Yeah, but actually not that much because I prefer living in the moment rather than taking pictures.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable for present habitual preference; no correction required. Keep present tense 'prefer' and 'living' for a general statement.

× When I go to a place I just take one picture and the rest of the day or the rest of the time I just enjoy, enjoy what I'm having at the moment rather than taking pictures.

✓ When I go somewhere, I just take one picture and for the rest of the time I just enjoy what I'm experiencing in the moment rather than taking pictures.

Word choice and tense consistency: 'go to a place' is better as 'go somewhere'. 'the rest of the day or the rest of the time' is redundant; use 'for the rest of the time'. 'enjoy, enjoy what I'm having' is repetitive and 'having' is awkward; use 'enjoy what I'm experiencing'. Maintain present simple/habitual for general habits.

× For me, it's a really good thing.

✓ For me, it's a really good thing.

This short sentence is grammatical and appropriate in present tense; no correction needed.

× Well, it's a really hard question, but if I had to choose, I would choose the mountains because I can move through the mountains and I can just stay there and watch the view from up.

✓ Well, it's a really hard question, but if I had to choose, I would choose the mountains because I can walk through them and stay there to watch the view from above.

Modal/conditional and word choice: 'if I had to choose, I would choose' is acceptable conditional. 'move through the mountains' is vague; use 'walk through them' or 'hike through them'. 'watch the view from up' is ungrammatical; use 'watch the view from above'. Keep conditional mood consistent and choose clearer verbs.

× Even though the sea can really be a great scene of seeing, but I prefer the mountain, especially Switzerland.

✓ Even though the sea can be a great sight, I prefer the mountains, especially in Switzerland.

Redundancy and word choice: 'Even though' and 'but' together is redundant; remove 'but'. 'a great scene of seeing' is incorrect—use 'a great sight'. Number agreement: 'the mountain' should be plural 'the mountains' to match general preference. Add preposition 'in Switzerland' for clarity. Maintain present tense for general preference.