Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and avoid filler words (uh). Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct small grammar issues (e.g., “in a bus” instead of “in the bus” depending on context, and simple past vs present: “I love” or “I enjoy”).

예시: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus because I enjoy watching natural scenery. For example, I often see green fields and forests, which I find relaxing, so I like to watch until we arrive.

제안: Be direct and reduce repetition. Use linking words to organize details (for example, “for instance” or “sometimes”). Use correct prepositions (“from the bus” → “on the bus”; “of the window” → “through the window”). Mention frequency and a specific example to add content.

예시: Yes, I often take photos through the bus window. For instance, I sometimes photograph small villages and mountain views when the light is good, because those images remind me of home.

제안: Open with a clear preference sentence and give a concise reason using linking words like “because” or “since.” Avoid repetition and correct grammar (e.g., “I prefer the mountains” and “I take great pleasure in seeing them”).

예시: I prefer the mountains because I come from Nepal, which is a mountainous country. Since I grew up surrounded by peaks and valleys, I find mountain scenery especially beautiful and comforting.

× Yes, usually when I travel in a bus, I see from window, uh, scenery that I love to see like that because when I see uh, outside from window, there is a lot of natural scenery which I loved.

✓ Yes, usually when I travel by bus, I see from the window scenery that I love to see, because when I look outside the window there is a lot of natural scenery which I love.

Errors: incorrect article use ('a bus' vs 'by bus'), missing definite article before 'window', tense inconsistency ('loved' should be 'love'), and word order. Suggestions: use 'travel by bus' for general transport, use 'the window' when referring to a specific window, use present tense 'love' to match habitual action, and reorder 'see from the window' to 'look outside the window' for natural English.

× Yes, usually when I travel from the bus, uh, I try to take a photo of uh, outside of window, which scenery is uh, like small villages, countryside, mountains, natural views. Yes, I usually try to capture it.

✓ Yes, usually when I travel by bus, I try to take a photo through the window of the scenery, such as small villages, the countryside, mountains and natural views. I usually try to capture it.

Errors: incorrect prepositions ('travel from the bus' should be 'travel by bus'; 'photo of outside of window' should be 'photo through the window' or 'photo of the scenery outside the window'), article use before 'countryside'. Suggestions: use 'by bus' to indicate mode of transport, 'through the window' or 'of the scenery' to describe photo subject, include 'the' for 'the countryside', and list items with commas for clarity.

× I prefer mountains because in I'm from Nepal and my country is a mountain country and there is no sea.

✓ I prefer the mountains because I am from Nepal and my country is a mountainous country and there is no sea.

Errors: article and word-form issues ('prefer mountains' should be 'prefer the mountains' when talking about mountains in general as a category in this context), unnecessary 'in' before 'I'm', and adjective form 'mountain country' is better as 'mountainous country'. Suggestions: remove 'in', use 'I am' instead of contraction only if style requires, use 'the mountains' and 'mountainous' for correct adjective form.

× So I always prefer a mountains natural views because I'm I'm very much pleasure to see mountains.

✓ So I always prefer the natural views of the mountains because I get great pleasure from seeing them.

Errors: 'a mountains natural views' mixes singular and plural and misorders nouns; 'I'm very much pleasure to see' is ungrammatical—'pleasure' is a noun and needs a verb like 'get' and a preposition. Suggestions: use 'the natural views of the mountains' for correct noun order, 'I get great pleasure from seeing them' to express enjoyment, and avoid repeating 'I'm'.