Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve fluency and accuracy by reducing hesitations and pronunciation errors, use a clear topic sentence and one or two specific supporting details connected with linking words. Avoid repetition and incorrect words (e.g. 'fears' → 'scenery' or 'views', 'fuse' → 'views').

예시: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because I love beautiful views. For example, I enjoy watching countryside fields and old villages pass by, and I often notice small details like farm animals or colourful houses which make the trip interesting.

제안: Correct vocabulary mistakes and make the answer more concise and coherent. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give a specific reason and an example. Replace wrong word 'fuel' with 'view' or 'scenery' and avoid filler words.

예시: I sometimes take photos of the scenery if the view is especially beautiful. However, I often prefer to put my phone away and remember the moment instead, for example when I see a dramatic sunset I might take one photo but mostly I enjoy watching it.

제안: Organize the response with a clear preference statement, then add contrasting supporting details using linking words (e.g. 'however', 'but') and specific reasons. Reduce hesitations and repetition; mention concrete examples (activities or feelings) to support your choice.

예시: I prefer the mountains because I grew up in Austria and enjoy hiking in alpine landscapes. However, I also appreciate the sea for its calmness; for instance, I like walking along the beach to relax after a busy week.

× Yes, I always look out umm after window because I I'm a person who loves pretty fears.

✓ Yes, I always look out the window because I'm a person who loves pretty views.

The student used 'after window' which is incorrect; the correct preposition and article phrase is 'out the window' or 'out of the window'. Also 'fears' is a mispronunciation/wrong word for 'views'. Suggestion: use 'look out the window' or 'look out of the window' and replace 'fears' with 'views'. Note: This correction addresses preposition use and word choice; articles and word choice were adjusted to make the sentence natural.

× I love to admire the fuse.

✓ I love to admire the view.

The word 'fuse' is an incorrect word choice (likely a pronunciation error) and should be 'view'. This is a vocabulary/pronoun-like error where the intended noun was wrong. Suggestion: say 'admire the view' to express looking at scenery.

× I also like to see something new so I really umm like traveling umm with bus or car.

✓ I also like to see something new, so I really like traveling by bus or car.

Use the preposition 'by' with modes of transport (by bus, by car). Also remove unnecessary filler words and add a comma for clarity. Suggestion: say 'traveling by bus or car.'

× If the fuel is really beautiful, why not?

✓ If the view is really beautiful, why not?

'Fuel' is the wrong noun here; the intended noun is 'view'. This is a word choice error; replace with the correct adjective-noun combination 'the view is really beautiful.' Suggestion: check similar-sounding words and choose the correct vocabulary for scenery.

× But sometimes I try not to be on my phone so much and try to memorize it, umm without actually capturing with my phone.

✓ But sometimes I try not to be on my phone so much and try to memorize it without actually capturing it on my phone.

The original has awkward structure and misplaced preposition 'with my phone'. Use 'capture it on my phone' for the action of taking a photo. Also remove extra 'try' repetition. Suggestion: streamline: 'I try not to be on my phone so much and try to memorize it without capturing it on my phone.'

× So sometimes I do it, sometimes I don't, it depends.

✓ So sometimes I do, sometimes I don't; it depends.

The original is informal and slightly redundant. Removing 'it' after 'do' makes the sentence more natural in present simple. Also use a semicolon or conjunction for correct sentence connection. Suggestion: 'So sometimes I do, sometimes I don't; it depends.'

× So I grew up in Austria.

✓ I grew up in Austria.

The word 'So' at the start is unnecessary and can be omitted for a direct response. This is a style/tense-neutral improvement. Suggestion: start with 'I grew up in Austria.' in spoken responses.

× That's why I think I prefer to see over the mountains because I have the mountains at home.

✓ That's why I think I prefer to look at the mountains because I have mountains at home.

Use 'look at' rather than 'see over' when referring to preferring mountains as scenery. Also 'the mountains at home' can be 'mountains at home' without 'the'. Suggestion: 'prefer to look at the mountains' and avoid unnecessary articles.

× I love hiking, don't get me wrong, But the sea, I feel like I have a connection with the sea.

✓ I love hiking, don't get me wrong, but I also feel that I have a connection with the sea.

Capitalization after a comma is incorrect; 'But' should be lowercase. The sentence structure is repetitive; combine ideas with 'also' and 'that' for clarity. Suggestion: write 'but I also feel that I have a connection with the sea.'

× I like the calmness of the sea. I, I, I just adore its beauty.

✓ I like the calmness of the sea. I just adore its beauty.

Reduce filler repetition ('I, I, I') to a single 'I' for natural speech. This is a pragmatics/pronoun repetition issue. Suggestion: pause instead of repeating the pronoun.