Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No), then give one or two specific, relevant reasons using linking words. Avoid filler words and unclear phrases. Keep it under five sentences and focus on natural phrasing and specific details (e.g., types of apps or activities on your phone, or what you look at outside when you do).

예시: No, I usually don't look out the window when I travel by bus or car. Instead, I spend most journeys on my phone—checking maps, booking cafes, or browsing social media—because I like to plan stops or relax during the trip. Occasionally I glance at the road when traffic is interesting, but generally I focus on my phone.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence then add one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words to make the answer coherent and avoid colloquial fillers. Specify what you photograph and why (e.g., mountains, villages, light), and describe how you use the photos (share, print, keep).

예시: Yes, I often take photos through the car window when I travel. For example, during trips across Europe I photograph rolling hills, old villages and dramatic skies to remember the scenery; later I usually upload the best shots to an online album or print a few to put in a travel diary.

제안: Answer directly (I prefer the mountains/sea), then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid vague expressions and hesitations. Provide concrete details about what you enjoy in the mountains (activities, scenery, climate) to make your response convincing and natural.

예시: I prefer the mountains. I enjoy hiking on quiet trails and breathing fresh air, and I find mountain scenery—pine forests and high peaks—more peaceful than crowded beaches. Also, I like photographing sunrise from high viewpoints, which makes mountain trips special for me.

× Well, honestly, I don't because while traveling by bus or the car, uh, majority of the situations I look at abroad or other traffic road or uh, just look at my phone, uh, generally finding the room to book or order places to step in to just chill a bit for a while.

✓ Well, honestly, I don't, because when traveling by bus or car, in most situations I look abroad at other traffic or just at my phone, and I usually search for a place to book or stop to relax for a while.

The original sentence misuses prepositions and articles ('by bus or the car' should be 'by bus or car'; 'look at abroad' should be 'look abroad' or 'look at other traffic'); word order is also awkward. Use 'when' for time and 'in most situations' for frequency. Use 'search for a place to book or stop' instead of 'finding the room to book or order places to step in'. These changes correct preposition errors and improve natural word order.

× Oh yes I do. Whenever I travel across the Europe I often take photos of the scenery guys out of the car window to capture the beautiful landscapes and preserved memories of the trip making extremely special and really better than it was before from all of the previous ones like.

✓ Oh yes I do. Whenever I travel across Europe I often take photos of the scenery out of the car window to capture the beautiful landscapes and preserve memories of the trip, which makes it extremely special and better than previous ones.

'Across the Europe' incorrectly uses the definite article; correct form is 'across Europe'. 'Scenery guys' is incorrect and likely a filler; remove 'guys'. Verb forms: use 'preserve memories' (infinitive) instead of 'preserved memories', and restructure the clause to 'which makes it...'. These changes fix article misuse and verb form/structure issues.

× Uh, so whenever I choose the place to travel across the Europe, I mainly got used to picking the mountains, which umm, personally for me, SIM seems to be really, you know, wonderful and much, much more fascinating.

✓ So whenever I choose a place to travel across Europe, I usually choose the mountains, which, for me, seem really wonderful and much more fascinating.

Pronoun and article errors: 'the place' should be 'a place'; 'across the Europe' -> 'across Europe'. 'I mainly got used to picking' is unnatural and mixes tenses; use 'I usually choose' or 'I am used to choosing'. 'Personally for me, SIM seems' contains an unclear pronoun/word 'SIM' and redundant 'personally for me'; simplify to 'for me, seem'. These changes correct pronoun/article misuse and improve tense and clarity.