Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence that directly answers the question, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition (phrases like “when I travel by bus or car” repeated) and unnecessary words. Use linking words (for example, “because” or “so”) to connect ideas and keep sentences to a maximum of about 2–4 short sentences.

예시: Yes, I usually look out of the window when I travel by bus or car because I get motion sickness. So I prefer to sit near an open window to get fresh air, which helps me feel better during long journeys.

제안: Make the answer more natural and precise. Start with a direct response (Yes/No), then give a specific reason or example. Avoid incorrect word choices (e.g., “photogenic” describes a person who looks good in photos; use “fond of photography” or “I like taking photos”). Use a linking word to connect the reason and an example.

예시: Yes, I often take photos from the window because I enjoy photography. For example, on recent trips I photographed interesting roadsides and mountain views to remember the journey.

제안: Answer directly and use clearer language and structure. Begin with a topic sentence ("I prefer the mountains") then give two specific, coherent reasons using linking words ("because", "for example"). Avoid colloquial fragments and unclear phrases like “that touches me” or “that cold air fills me like, oh.” Keep it to 2–3 sentences, and use accurate grammar (e.g., "I love the views and the cool air").

예시: I prefer the mountains because I grew up in the countryside near slopes, so I feel more connected to that landscape. For instance, I enjoy the fresh, cool air and the peaceful mountain views, which help me relax.

× Actually, yes I do.

✓ Actually, yes, I do.

Missing a comma after the introductory word 'Actually' is a punctuation issue that affects flow; while not listed, it's minor. Keep present simple 'do' to answer current habit.

× When I travel by bus or car, I usually have the motion sickness.

✓ When I travel by bus or car, I usually get motion sickness.

Use 'get' with 'motion sickness' rather than 'have the motion sickness'. Drop the definite article 'the' and use the verb 'get' to describe experiencing a sickness. Suggestion: say 'get motion sickness' to sound natural.

× That's why I can't sit for hours with the windows closed.

✓ That's why I can't sit for hours with the windows closed.

Sentence is grammatically acceptable; no structural change needed. It correctly uses modal 'can't' and prepositional phrase 'for hours'.

× That's why I need the windows open when I travel by bus or car or any transportation.

✓ That's why I need the windows open when I travel by bus, car, or any form of transportation.

Replace 'any transportation' with 'any form of transportation' for natural collocation. Use commas in a list. 'The windows open' is acceptable; clarified phrase improves register.

× Actually, I'm a very photogenic person.

✓ Actually, I'm a very photogenic person.

Sentence is correct; present 'am' matches first-person singular.

× I love the roadsides when I travel by bus or any means of transportation.

✓ I love the roadsides when I travel by bus or by any other means of transportation.

Add 'by' before 'any other means' for parallelism and include 'other' for natural phrasing. This improves grammatical parallel structure.

× I love to click the natural sceneries of landscape too.

✓ I love to take photos of natural landscapes too.

'Click' is informal and 'sceneries' is uncountable/rare; use 'take photos' and 'landscapes' (plural) or 'scenery' (uncountable). This makes the sentence natural and grammatically correct.

× That makes me happy.

✓ That makes me happy.

Sentence is correct in present simple to describe a general result.

× I'm a mountain person since my home is in countryside, which is basically the slope area, not the hill area.

✓ I'm a mountain person since my home is in the countryside, which is basically a sloping area rather than a hilly one.

Add the article 'the' before 'countryside'. Use 'a sloping area' instead of 'the slope area', and 'rather than a hilly one' sounds natural. These changes fix article use and adjective-noun collocation.

× That's why I'm so love with the mountains.

✓ That's why I love the mountains so much.

'I'm so love with' is ungrammatical. Use 'I love ... so much' or 'I'm so fond of the mountains'. This corrects verb choice and word order.

× I love the views.

✓ I love the views.

Grammatically correct; no change needed.

× I love that.

✓ I love that.

Correct and natural as a short response.

× Yeah, that touches me.

✓ Yes, that moves me.

'That touches me' is understandable but 'that moves me' is a more natural collocation in this context. 'Yeah' -> 'Yes' for formality.

× That cold air fills me like, oh.

✓ That cold air fills me with a feeling of awe.

The original is informal and incomplete. Replace vague 'fills me like, oh' with a clear expression such as 'fills me with a feeling of awe' or 'fills me with energy' to convey meaning and complete the clause.