Travelling— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is clear and relevant, but it is slightly wordy and includes a vague phrase (“something like scenic view”). To improve, make the response more concise, use one strong topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details with a linking word (e.g., “however” or “especially”). Avoid repetition and incorrect collocations (say “scenic views” not “scenic view”).

예시: I usually sleep on journeys because I suffer from motion sickness. However, when I feel well I enjoy looking out of the window and taking in scenic views, especially mountains and sunsets, because they help me relax.

제안: Your response is relevant and provides reasons, but it repeats the same idea about motion sickness and sleeping. To improve, avoid repetition, use a linking word to connect the ideas, and provide one specific example of a memorable photo or condition when you do take photos. Keep to at most four sentences.

예시: I do take photos from the car window when the lighting and landscape are appealing. However, because I often travel at night due to motion sickness, I rarely have daylight opportunities; the last time I photographed a view was a sunset over a river, which created beautiful reflections.

제안: This is a strong answer: you state a clear preference, give specific reasons, and include a personal detail. To improve further, tighten phrasing (avoid awkward collocations like “a circle of friends”) and use one linking word to show contrast. Limit to three or four sentences for conciseness.

예시: I prefer the mountains because I enjoy challenging hikes and being immersed in nature. The fresh air and tranquil trails help me relax, and hiking with close friends who love adventure is more satisfying to me than a day on the beach.

× Actually I suffer from motion sickness so I usually sleep during journeys, but when I feel OK I like to look out of the window and take in the scenery, especially if there are mountains or rivers or sunsets and something like scenic view.

✓ Actually I suffer from motion sickness so I usually sleep during journeys, but when I feel OK I like to look out of the window and take in the scenery, especially if there are mountains, rivers, sunsets, or other scenic views.

The phrase 'something like scenic view' is awkward and ungrammatical; 'scenic views' as a plural noun fits the list and parallel structure. Also use commas to separate items in a list. Use 'other scenic views' instead of 'something like scenic view' for natural expression.

× Yes, I do take photos of the scenery from the car window whenever I can, especially if the light and landscape look interesting.

✓ Yes, I take photos of the scenery from the car window whenever I can, especially if the light and landscape look interesting.

The auxiliary 'do' is unnecessary in a simple present affirmative sentence and sounds marked; removing it produces a more natural present-tense statement. The rest of the sentence is correct.

× However, I usually travel at night because I suffer from motion sickness, so I don't get many chances to photograph the view during daylight because I usually sleep during travel.

✓ However, I usually travel at night because I suffer from motion sickness, so I don't get many chances to photograph the view during daylight since I usually sleep while travelling.

Use 'since' to avoid repeating 'because' and 'while travelling' or 'while traveling' is the natural phrase instead of 'during travel.' Also 'travelling' matches British spelling used elsewhere; these changes improve fluency and avoid repetition.

× I love both being on the mountains and chilling on the sea, but I prefer the mountains to the sea because I enjoy challenging hikes and being immersed in nature.

✓ I love both being in the mountains and relaxing by the sea, but I prefer the mountains to the sea because I enjoy challenging hikes and being immersed in nature.

Use 'in the mountains' and 'by the sea' (or 'at the seaside') rather than 'on the mountains' and 'on the sea.' 'Chilling' is informal; 'relaxing' is more appropriate in this context.

× The fresh air and tranquil trails help me to relax, and hiking with a circle of friends who love adventure is much more enjoyable to me than spending a day relaxing on the beach.

✓ The fresh air and tranquil trails help me relax, and hiking with a group of friends who love adventure is much more enjoyable for me than spending a day relaxing on the beach.

Use 'help me relax' (omit 'to') for natural English. 'Circle of friends' is unusual; 'group of friends' is more idiomatic. Use 'more enjoyable for me' rather than 'to me' in comparative contexts for clarity.