Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and coherent: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetitions and filler words, correct minor grammar, and give one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words to connect ideas (e.g., "for example", "also"). Keep to a maximum of 3–4 short sentences.

예시: Yes, I really enjoy photographing different views. For example, I often take photos of the sea because of its colours and light, and I also photograph monuments, trying different angles to capture architectural details. This helps me practice composition and create more interesting images.

제안: Give a clear preference first, then support it with specific reasons using linking words. Remove hesitations and unclear phrases. Use 2–3 sentences: one stating preference, one explaining with examples or comparisons.

예시: I prefer rural views, especially seascapes, because I enjoy the calm atmosphere and natural colours of the coast. However, I also appreciate cityscapes for their dramatic skyscrapers and busy streets, which offer interesting contrasts and photo opportunities.

제안: Structure your answer: state a clear stance (e.g., I like both), then give specific details about each place using correct vocabulary. Avoid awkward expressions like "eye gadgets" and unnecessary repetition. Use 2–3 well-formed sentences with linking words such as "because" or "while".

예시: I like views in both my home country and in Canada. Canada has beautiful beaches and coastal scenery that I enjoy, while my home country offers many historic buildings and monuments with interesting architectural details. Together they give me a wide variety of subjects to photograph.

× If I'm at any place where we are visiting any place or it's a monument, I would love to take pictures with of the building of the humans with different angles and I, I am, I'm a photo.

✓ If I am visiting a place or a monument, I would love to take pictures of the buildings and people from different angles.

The sentence uses incorrect and redundant pronouns and expressions ('we are visiting any place', 'with of the building of the humans') and awkward phrasing ('I am a photo'). Replace 'we are visiting any place' with 'I am visiting a place' to match the speaker's perspective. Use 'take pictures of the buildings and people' instead of 'with of the building of the humans', and 'from different angles' for clarity. Remove 'I am a photo' which is incorrect; the intended meaning is the speaker enjoys photography.

× Well, I love to see the rural areas because the seaside areas are my most favorite, one of my favorite, uh, seascapes.

✓ Well, I love to see rural areas because seaside views are some of my favorite seascapes.

'My most favorite' is redundant and ungrammatical; use 'some of my favorite' or 'one of my favorites'. Also 'the rural areas' and 'the seaside areas' are unnecessarily definite; use 'rural areas' and 'seaside views' for natural phrasing. Remove filler 'uh'.

× So your eye depends.

✓ So it depends on your taste.

'So your eye depends' is ungrammatical and lacks a proper subject-verb-object relationship. The intended idea is that preference depends on personal taste: use 'It depends on your taste' or 'It depends on what you like.' This fixes subject-verb agreement and idiomatic expression.

× Well, my country is a historical place and I love both as I'm living in Canada right now.

✓ Well, my country is a historic place and I love both, but I am currently living in Canada.

The original mixes ideas and pronouns ambiguously ('I love both as I'm living in Canada right now'). Clarify by separating the clauses: state that the speaker's country is historic, that they love both types of views, and that they currently live in Canada. Also 'historic' is more natural than 'a historical place' in this context.

× So this country is beautiful if we look at the seas, beaches and all.

✓ This country is beautiful when you look at its seas and beaches.

'If we look at the seas, beaches and all' is informal and awkward. Use 'when you look at its seas and beaches' to be clearer and more grammatical. 'All' is vague and should be avoided.

× And if I talk about my country, it has so many buildings, the old historical places which are eye gadgets.

✓ And if I talk about my country, it has many buildings and old historic sites that are eye-catching.

'Old historical places' is redundant; use 'old historic sites' or simply 'historic sites'. 'Eye gadgets' is incorrect; the correct idiom is 'eye-catching' to mean attractive or interesting to look at. Also remove 'so' for conciseness.