Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve grammatical accuracy, natural phrasing and concision. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid awkward words (e.g. "your photographing"), reduce fillers like "like" and "the moment that", and keep to 2–4 sentences. Add a brief specific example to support your reason.

예시: Yes, I do. I enjoy photographing different views because taking photos helps me capture memories. For example, when I visited the seaside last year, I took pictures of the sunrise to remember the colors and the peaceful atmosphere.

제안: Be more concise and fluent, reduce hesitations and pronunciation errors, and use clear linking words when comparing. State your preference (or neutrality) in one sentence and support it with 1–2 specific contrasts using linking words like "however" or "on the other hand."

예시: I like both urban and rural views because they offer different experiences. For example, urban areas have striking architecture and lively streets, while rural areas offer peaceful landscapes and fresh air.

제안: Correct grammar and vocabulary, avoid fillers and unclear phrases (e.g. "more on the my size"). Give a clear topic sentence stating your preference and one or two specific descriptive details to explain why, using precise words like "scenery," "rice fields," "traditional villages."

예시: I prefer views in my own country, Vietnam, because it has beautiful natural scenery and traditional landscapes. For instance, the rice fields in the countryside and the old town areas offer peaceful, picturesque scenes that I love photographing.

× Yes I do. I enjoy your photographing with many views.

✓ Yes, I do. I enjoy photographing many different views.

The original sentence incorrectly uses the pronoun 'your' and redundant noun form 'photographing with many views'. Use the gerund 'photographing' as the object and remove 'your'. Add 'different' to clarify variety and commas for clarity.

× I found this is very interesting because like the moment that I use my phone or even my digital camera to take a photo, I found that it is something that I can store memories.

✓ I find this very interesting because the moment I use my phone or my digital camera to take a photo, I feel that I can store memories.

Tense inconsistency: 'found' (past) conflicts with the general statement about what the speaker experiences (present). Replace past 'found' with present 'find' and 'feel'. Remove filler 'like' and simplify 'the moment that I use' to 'the moment I use'. This keeps the present-tense general habit.

× Umm, more on the my size, which is Vietnam, uh, because my country has made lots of great, uh, sceneries, great, uh, uh, fields with classes and very like traditional.

✓ Umm, more on my side, which is Vietnam, because my country has many beautiful sceneries, fields with terraces and a very traditional feel.

Pronoun and word choice: 'the my size' is incorrect; likely intended 'my side'. 'Has made lots of great sceneries' is incorrect verb use and countable issue; 'scenery' is usually uncountable, so use 'many beautiful sceneries' or better 'beautiful scenery'. 'Fields with classes' is incorrect; probably 'fields with terraces'. 'Very like traditional' is incorrect adjective phrase; change to 'a very traditional feel' or 'very traditional'. Adjust articles and word order accordingly.

× So I would say there's no different.

✓ So I would say there's no difference.

Wrong noun form: 'different' is an adjective and cannot be used where the noun 'difference' is required. Use 'difference' to indicate no distinction between the two options.

× Uh, because uh, Cityville and Roosevelt, they're all have different uh, perspective, different vibes, but I both enjoy them.

✓ Uh, because Cityville and Roosevelt each have different perspectives and different vibes, but I enjoy both of them.

Subject-verb agreement and word order: 'they're all have' is ungrammatical — use 'each have' or 'both have'. 'Perspective' should be plural 'perspectives' to match 'different'. Place 'both' before the object: 'enjoy both of them' or 'enjoy them both'. Remove filler 'uh' and streamline.

× Do you prefer views in your own country or in other countries?

✓ Do you prefer views in your own country or in other countries?

No correction needed. The sentence is grammatically correct; it uses articles appropriately for general reference to 'your own country' and 'other countries'.

× I would say both. So I remain neutral in these situations.

✓ I would say both; I remain neutral in this matter.

Stylistic improvement: 'in these situations' is awkward in context; 'in this matter' or 'on this question' fits better. Combine short sentences for fluency.

× I enjoy your photographing with many views.

✓ I enjoy photographing many different views.

This repeats earlier correction: use present simple 'enjoy photographing' and not 'your photographing'. Ensure present-tense habit is expressed correctly.

× Umm, more on the my size, which is Vietnam, uh, because my country has made lots of great, uh, sceneries, great, uh, uh, fields with classes and very like traditional. So I love my country's view.

✓ I'm more on my side, which is Vietnam, because my country has many beautiful sceneries, terraced fields and a very traditional atmosphere. So I love my country's views.

Multiple issues: replace 'more on the my size' with 'I'm more on my side' or 'I prefer my own country'. Use 'scenery' or 'sceneries' appropriately, 'terraced fields' instead of 'fields with classes', and 'atmosphere' instead of 'very like traditional'. Make 'views' plural to match general reference.