Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repetition and filler words, and give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Pronunciation and word choice need clarification (e.g., “feed to our member” is unclear). Aim for 2–3 sentences, and replace hesitations with smooth phrases.

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because photography helps me preserve special moments. For example, when I travel I photograph landscapes and street scenes to remember the atmosphere and light.

제안: Give a direct answer and support it with specific reasons using linking words. Reduce fillers and finish your thought. Use more accurate vocabulary (e.g., “lighting” not “lightning”) and limit to 2–3 clear sentences.

예시: I prefer urban views because the architecture and city monuments offer a lot of visual variety. For example, different building shapes, street scenes and night lighting create interesting compositions for my photos.

제안: Avoid unclear or incorrect phrases and speak politely and clearly. Begin with a direct statement, then give specific reasons and a brief comparison using linking words. Remove mistaken fragments and pauses, and correct grammar (e.g., “each place has different views”).

예시: I prefer views in my own country because India has diverse landscapes, from mountains to coastlines, that I love to photograph. However, I also enjoy visiting other countries because each place offers unique scenery and cultural landmarks.

× Yes, I do like to capture pictures in various directions because it will capture each and each and every moment that we see through our eyes.

✓ Yes, I like to take pictures from various angles because they capture every moment we see with our eyes.

Use of 'do like to capture' is acceptable but wordy; 'like to take pictures' is more natural. 'Capture pictures' is less idiomatic than 'take pictures'. 'In various directions' should be 'from various angles'. 'It will capture each and each and every moment that we see through our eyes' has pronoun and redundancy issues: 'it' is unclear (plural 'pictures' requires 'they'), 'each and each and every' is redundant, and 'through our eyes' is wordy compared with 'we see with our eyes' or simply 'we see'. Replacing with 'they capture every moment we see with our eyes' fixes subject-pronoun agreement and removes redundancy.

× So it can be more helpful to feed to our member, uh, to our cameras.

✓ So it can be helpful to upload them to our devices or cameras.

Original sentence has unclear structure and incorrect word choice: 'feed to our member' is meaningless in this context. 'Feed' may be intended as 'upload' or 'feed to a social media feed', and 'member' is incorrect. Rewriting as 'upload them to our devices or cameras' clarifies the action and corrects structure. This fits the conversation context.

× I'm fond of taking uh, pictures of urban areas because it has more developed buildings, different types of buildings in shapes, umm, and the beauty of each and every, umm umm, monuments and the lightning which help me to.

✓ I'm fond of taking pictures of urban areas because they have more developed buildings, different building shapes, and the beauty of many monuments and the lighting, which helps me.

Subject-verb agreement: 'it has' is incorrect when referring to 'urban areas' or 'pictures' (plural); use 'they have' for plural or 'urban areas have'. 'Different types of buildings in shapes' is awkward; 'different building shapes' is clearer. 'Each and every monuments' mixes singular/plural; use 'many monuments' or 'each monument'. 'Lightning' (weather) is incorrect for illumination; use 'lighting'. 'Which help me to' lacks an object and has wrong verb form; use 'which helps me' if referring to 'lighting' (singular) or 'which help me' if plural—here 'lighting, which helps me' is correct.

× To be honest, it said if he killed Christian cause uh, India is the country that I am from so it has more beautiful landscapes and mountains.

✓ To be honest, I would say India is the country I am from, and it has beautiful landscapes and mountains.

Original sentence contains unintelligible and incorrect pronoun and clause fragments: 'it said if he killed Christian cause' is nonsensical. Likely intended 'I would say' or 'to be honest, I'd say'. Replace with 'I would say India is the country I am from, and it has beautiful landscapes and mountains' to correct pronoun use ('I', 'it' referring to India) and restore a grammatical, coherent statement.

× And also each country has their own beauties so each places have their different views.

✓ Also, each country has its own beauty, and each place has different views.

Pronoun agreement: 'each country has their own' should use singular possessive 'its' because 'each' is singular. 'Each places' mixes 'each' (singular) with plural 'places'; use 'each place'. 'Have their different views' should be 'has different views' to match singular 'each place'. Rewriting as 'each country has its own beauty, and each place has different views' fixes agreement and number errors.